Fugger: Phoebe Price

Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Phoebe Price

Could someone explain to me how and why Phoebe Price got invited to the Teen Choice Awards? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? She is far from being a teen, and surely is not the choice of any teen. Was she asked to attend as a cautionary tale? Be ye not a fame whore, my children, or this shall be thy fate?

Because that actually kind of makes sense.


Phoebe Price’s Tragique Resume Makes It Hard to Concoct Puns In This Title Space

I like to think of this look as Lazy Phoebe Price:

Like, she’s finagled her way into attending something, somehow, without having to threaten to sue but it’s been a long week already and she’s feeling bloated. Surely, this is not the time for skin-tight mermaid gowns or zebra-print catsuits. It’s time for a bag. But…bags aren’t very PHOEBE PRICE. A girl in a stripy maxi-bag doesn’t prompt questions like, “who IS Phoebe Price and where are her pants?” HENCE: A giant, random slit up the side, the better to aggressively poke her gams through. Also, a stupid hat and a side ponytail. Close enough!

Phoebe Price Fug Part Infinity

It’s always funny when paparazzi photos tell a different story than the one they — and the subject — thought they were getting. For example, I’m sure Favorite Fug Irritant Phoebe Price thought this series of snaps would beautifully illustrate her endless supply of charisma and glamour, thus leading to a starring role in a major motion picture. And I’m sure the paps thought, “well, there’s no one else around. Might as well deal with Phoebe until someone actually famous shows up.” And yet, these instead weave a tale of terror for one small boy just innocently trying to get a snack:

“Who is that lady in the stupid hat?” he thinks. “And does her dress..lace up the sides?”

“Mommy, I’m frightened. Why is that lady wearing those shoes to the beach? Hold me.”

[Photos: INFDaily.com]

“Order your slice quickly, my son! I have laid eyes on the Price, and we must make our escape!  Were you to become infected with her rampant FameWhoritis, why….I could never forgive myself! Never! She’s posing with tabloids in front of a snack stand! ORDER! ORDER AND RUN!”

Get Fug

So, I knew it was apt when we stuck Phoebe Price in Fug Madness’ Charo bracket, but every so often she reminds me just HOW apt.

I mean, seriously, she is shaking that apt for all it’s worth. I don’t think that’s what Charo meant by “cuchi-cuchi,” sweetpea.


American Fugdol Presents: When Paula Met Phoebe

A Play in Three Acts:


PAULA: Hello….? Do I…? Are we….?

PHOEBE: Let’s take a picture, Paula! Imagine how well a photo of two such classy celebrities such as ourselves will sell! You are a famed songstress, and I a brave warrior for the civil liberties of F-list celebrities!

PAULA: Have I been drinking?


PAULA: Psst, you guys! Who is this person? Also, does the bodice of my dress look like I stuffed it with toilet paper? I can’t tell.

PHOEBE: Guest-judge spot on Idol, HERE I COME!

PAULA: I feel like my face is making that bemused look but I can’t control it.


PAULA: OH! You’re the Miss Golden Globe of this event! I GET IT NOW.

PHOEBE: Another step toward my world domination!


Fugbe Price, Please Be in a Movie So We Can Call These Posts Something New

Don’t kid yourself. Don’t kid me. I know what you’ve been thinking. I know what was on your mind this entire weekend. It wasn’t, “am I allowed to eat potato salad for breakfast?” It wasn’t, “I wonder if that cute boy will call me.” It wasn’t even, “Oh my god, what am I going to do without Lost for the next six years or however long I have to wait for the season after this one.” It was, “I wonder what that Phoebe Price person wore to Cannes?”  The good news is, dear reader, that I have answers to all those questions, and they are: yes, he better, cry, and this:

Not bad, considering her past, right? A little Most Expensive Gift Bag at The Container Store, but in comparison to her usual get-ups, kind of nice and understated.

But she was just warming herself up.

One of my favorite things about all these photos is how totally uninterested the photographers behind her are. If you look at pictures of like, Angelina and Brad, ALL photographers within a ten mile radius are screaming hard enough to induce a stroke. These guys are thinking about lunch. Or maybe just looking away from her kissy-face because they’ve heard the old French proverb, “If P-Squared thee kiss, thy wallet ye will miss.” (How else do you think she affords the vast amount of patterned silk required for her Cannes wardrobe? It’s all artful pickpocketry of one kind or another.)

This one is just eye-crossing, but I must applaud her artful use of the bikini top at a red carpet event. Clearly, she’s avoiding the bottoms due to recent bathing-suit-related traumas:

But this — though she clearly should be commended for artful recyling of Steven Tyler’s old mic stand scarves — was just the warm-up for the P-Squared Cannes Pièce de Résistance:

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Fug Squared

Occasionally, people email us and are like, “don’t give Phoebe Price any more attention! That’s what she wants! If you ignore her, maybe she’ll GO AWAY!” And I see your point. However, would you really want to go through your life without having experienced this:

I didn’t think so.