Fugger: Phoebe Price

Fugbe Price

Every time we feature Phoebe Price, we get a few emails from people who are like, “WHY ARE YOU EVEN FEATURING HER?!!! GOD! LET IT GO! SHE JUST WANTS ATTENTION! I CAN’T TAKE IT!” etc. And there’s a very good reason we continue to feature her. It is because I want you to suffer like I suffer.

Because the one thing that makes Phoebe Price MORE TRAGIC is the addition of Lindsay Lohan’s hideous freaking leggings. Oh, wait. I thought of something else that makes her even more tragic [don't click on this if your boss is standing behind you. OR YOU VALUE YOUR EYE SIGHT]:

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Phoefug Fugice

It has been a while since I’ve seen get-up that actually caused me to cry out in pain. Until this morning. Thanks, Phoebe!

[Photo: Splash News]

I KNOW. She looks likes Bobby Trendy styled her for a pimp funeral. In fact, it makes ME want to die.


Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Phoebe Price

Every time I write about Phoebe Price, I close the browser window and say to myself, “self, that’s it. No more. No more Phoebe Price. She’s bad for you. And you’re only giving her what she wants. What has she done for YOU lately?” But P Squared is like the ex-boyfriend who only ever calls you when he’s bored and you know you ought to ignore him, but you’re curious and he’s sort of entertaining when he’s not making you sick. And the next thing you know, despite your best intentions, you’re buying that guy a beer.

And I am certainly not strong enough to resist posting a photo in which Price is wearing….well, this terrible thing.  You’d think she’d have been able to find red panties that matched a bit more expertly, but you’d also think that she’d be barred from attending the Emmys.  Guess the beer’s on me, Phoebs.

Scarlett May Blossom’s Fuggery

DUDES. I am so over Phoebe Price. For a while, I found her excessive fame-whoring somewhat charming. Not charming the way, like, little baby booties that look like Mary Janes are charming, or the way tiny piglets are charming. But charming in the sense that it was SO blatant that it was sort of refreshing. Because it was so obvious. But now it’s just tired. To wit:

SIGH. P-Squared has invited photogs to snap pics of her recording an audio book of Scarlett May Blossom’s Diary: Ceilings I Have Seen.  A book which isn’t on Amazon, and therefore is not actually a proper book requiring an audio version, but in fact a book that has probably been mocked up for the exact purpose of this photoshoot, which is solely to make it seem like PP has a JOB, which we all know she does not, which of course once again makes us all wonder how she can afford the never-ending series of bizarre animal-patterned nylon frocks and hair extensions. If it were anyone else, I would think that Scarlett May Blossom’s Diary: Ceilings I Have Seen was an ironic, winking reference to the fact that the bloggers and blog-readers of the world are pretty sure PP is actually the kept woman of some very rich but extremely unimportant person, but considering the source, I suspect she just thought it sounded like a good read.

The amount of work it surely took to mock up photos like this one, however, make me feel like maybe it would be less work for her to actually get an ACTUAL JOB:

P: NO ONE BELIEVES YOU ARE IN DEMAND BY ANYONE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. (Being in demand by those of us bloggers who occasionally need material doesn’t count.) This entire charade is a ridiculous waste of time and resources. You would be better served by actually getting an actual job instead of laboring so tirelessly at PRETENDING you are employed. Then you could be ACTUALLY employed and not have to continue this ridiculous idiotic play-acting. WE’D ALL BE SO MUCH HAPPIER. To quote R Kelly’s seminal “Sex In the Kitchen:” Go get a goddamn job, dog. Shit, leave me alone. Get a job.

Also, I don’t care for that dress. Just so we’re on topic.


Phoebe Price TerrorWatch: Part I

Let me refrain from beating around the bush: P-Squared is starting to look like she spends her evening drinking the blood of virgins, and not in that “she must have made a deal with the devil, she looks so beautiful kind of way.” More like, “if a zombie and a vampire had a baby, 45 years later, this is what she would look like:”

Photo: Splash News]



Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Phoebe Price

Could someone explain to me how and why Phoebe Price got invited to the Teen Choice Awards? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? She is far from being a teen, and surely is not the choice of any teen. Was she asked to attend as a cautionary tale? Be ye not a fame whore, my children, or this shall be thy fate?

Because that actually kind of makes sense.