Fugger: Olivia Palermo

Cannes Fugs and Fabs: The amfAR Gala

I was all het up about Cannes juror Nicole Kidman not being at this (or at that may other things), but it turns out she was, and just may not have done the red carpet. I’ve decided this is because she’s been holed up all day in a darkened room watching every Cannes movie and flossing popcorn out of her teeth.

[Photos: Bauer-Griffin, WENN, Splash]


The Fugty

You know what? I really don’t know how she does it.

And by “it,” I mean, “uses the bathroom without irrevocably soiling the tulle ponytail coming out of her tailbone.” Because even if you scoop it ¬†up in your arms, eventually it has to go back to the floor, and therein lies the cesspool sometimes. If you’re thinking perhaps this post means I’ve used too many public bathrooms this week, you are RIGHT. Excuse me while I reapply my hand sanitizer.


Fug or Fab: Olivia Palermo

We recently featured Olivia Palermo — whom we used to call Tragic P, for reasons I’ll explain in a second — in a very loud blue jumpsuit, and the reaction was a combination of “Egads” and “Somehow I can’t hate this on her,” on the theory that Olivia pulls off stuff that a lot of people couldn’t. Now, for those of you in need of an Olivia Palermo primer: She is an ex-socialite type who, for the ten minutes that Socialite Rank was a thing, caused a stir when the site claimed she’d written a letter to the major ranking socialites begging them to accept her. Then she got onto The City and was portrated as a shallow, unprofessional dimwit with an uncanny ability to accessorize. Now, I have no idea how much of ANY of that is true, EXCEPT the accessorizing thing. Girlfriend is aces at that. And frankly, given the choice between Olivia and the entire cast of Jersey Shore or any of those abhorrent housewives, I’d rather spotlight her quasi-fame simply because she makes very expensively interesting choices. And red-carpet fashion is nothing if not expensively interesting, right? Dive in with me.

[Photos: Flynet, Splash, WENN]


The Fugty

Jessica and I have a safe word, of sorts, when we’re starting to complain to each other about the same old stuff. When we catch ourselves rehashing the same grievances that just get us worked up into a tired and cranky frenzy, we just look at each other and exhale and say, “Altoids,” and that covers it. Our mind meld is such that we have expanded it so that it basically says everything about anything, without either of us having to find the appropriate words. So I find it interesting that Altoids co-sponsored this event…

… because:¬†Altoids. So much Altoids.


Well Played Hair, Olivia Palermo

Saw what you will about Olivia Palermo, but she has basically the best hair EVER:

I’m serious. That’s my dream hair, there on her head. It’s so SHINY and BOUNCY and THICK and it always looks perfect. I don’t know how Whitney Port resisted, in their moments of dramz on The City, just YANKING on it. It’s right there, all IN YOUR FACE with its GOODNESS and that sort of thing can just add insult to injury. Like, “you are making my life hair and also WHY IS YOUR HAIR SO PERFECT ALL THE TIME WHY?”

Yeah, so OP should sell Olivia Palermo Hair Perfector, is what I’m saying. I’m the person who will buy whatever cracked-out hair product whatever magazine I’m reading at the time suggests, and I will totally buy if they told me to. She has connections. Make it happen, Palermo. I need my hair perfected.

But what are you wearing?


Well Played/Fug or Fab, Olivia Palermo

Can we talk about how Olivia Palermo has been nailing it of late?

Okay, I know, there is more to Olivia Palermo than her feet. And we’ll get there eventually. But I want to start with what struck me first, and that is: Holy CATS, these are great. They’re not super revolutionary and they’re not five-inch platforms and they don’t have money in the soles and they’re not made of knives and fishing lures, or whatever. They’re just really cute shoes in really cute colors, and sometimes, both of those pack a greater punch than seventy-five buckles and a heel made of a violin.
Let’s see what she paired them with:

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