Fugger: Nicki Minaj

Fug or Fab the Cover: Nicki Minaj


By now, we’ve heard that Nicki Minaj fired her styling team and is trying to simplify. So it makes sense that she’d agree to a stripped-down Elle cover, to show you a different side of herself.

And I actually think it’s a great idea. If the goal of a magazine cover is to attract people to it on the newsstand, then you want to grab them with something they haven’t seen before in a hundred other magazines. As long as your cover subject doesn’t look like somebody else entirely, I think it’s cool to make them look like a dramatic and different version of themselves as long as that self shines through enough to be identifiable. So, don’t put Nicki Minaj on the cover and jack with her face so that she looks like Beyonce or whatever, but do put Nicki Minaj on the cover and turn her into a gritty biker.

So at least this catches the eye. A photo of Nicki Minaj dressed exactly like Nicki Minaj always dresses would make me skip right over it, because I am bored of that whole shtick; this one, though, makes me want to open the issue and poke around and see what else there is. I love getting to see her face without all her marketing plastered all over it, you know? But at the same time, does she have to look so refried? Her hair comes off so wet and lank — I almost wish they’d slicked it back entirely, so even more of her face was carrying the cover — and I really don’t know why her mouth is hanging open, unless she studied for this shoot by memorizing photos of Jessica Simpson hawking perfume and shoes and booty shorts and whatever else she sells. Somehow J.Lo manages to make parted lips look less like she’s purring and/or recovering from the flu; of all the once-and-future reality show judges to copy, J.Simp is the wrong J. 

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[Photo: Elle]

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Oscars Fugs and Fabs: White Gowns


And this doesn’t even include the ones we’ve already covered — Kim Kardashian, Charlize, Jennifer Lawrence (well, her back, anyway). It was a bridal kind of night, albeit in some cases (okay, really mainly one), slightly more Hussy Bridal than is usual.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of the FOX TCA Party


It’s really hard for me not to joke that some of these ladies are looking….FOXY. God. That was horrible. I am really sorry.

[Photos: Getty]

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American Fugdol


It’s barely 2013 and I am already tired of Nicki Minaj.

Like, have you seen the new American Idol posters? They are so bizarre. Not because Nicki is dressed like an evil nun or anything — she sort of looks like a deranged cruise director, but that seems about right — but because the lineup of Randy Jackson, Mariah, Nicki Minaj, and poor Keith Urban just looks WEIRD. Every time I see it, I feel like I accidentally got sucked into an alternate universe.  Who would have predicted that, of the original judges’ panel, RANDY would be the one who lasted the longest? Or that Mariah Carey would decide to go get a day job instead of just wandering around her giant penthouse condo feeding her fishes and working out on the Stairmaster in heels? Or that Nicki Minaj would agree to hang out with Mariah all day? Or that Keith Urban was so competitive with Blake Shelton? I worry about Keith. I think this whole set-up is going to make Keith miserable. I hope that being the meat in a Mariah/Minaj sandwich doesn’t drive Keith back to the bottle.

That being said, when I originally saw this picture over the break, it was accompanied by a headline reading, WHAT IS NICKI MINAJ WEARING? and I naturally assumed she was out in costume as an unusually sparkly dolphin or some shit. Comparatively speaking, this is practically normal! SURE, her nipples are one deep breath away from making a run for it, but she is serving some Kelly Rowland Realness with those bangs, and who doesn’t love an aggressive epaulet during the holidays? Everyone really WAS on vacation last week.

[Photo: Pac Coast News]

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ARIA Awards Hilariously Played, Nicki Minaj


This is SERIOUSLY my favorite thing Nicki Minaj has ever worn. She looks like a wall-hanging at Margaritaville.

[Photos: Getty]

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AMAs Fug/Fab Face-Off: Nicki Minaj In A Threesome


First, Paula Patton wore it in a softer yellow, and we thought it was adequate but boring (and side by side, it almost looks like she had it tailored to be MORE dull); Julie Bowen picked it in what looks like a kickier chartreuse, and we liked it better. Now Nicki Minaj has picked up the Lhuillier:

Crazy that this crispy wig still looks better than Bowen’s hair did. I actually think this is the most fun on Nicki — she is being appropriately restrained with everything, yet still works it with enough whimsy that the whole thing has the right attitude about it. But mostly, I think it’s hilarious to imagine Julie Bowen and Nicki Minaj having any items in their closets in common — or better, sharing clothes. I cherish the idea of Julie calling up Nicki and being like, “Dude, I’ll give you my tulle garrote if you’ll spot me your Pope for date night.”

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