Fugger: Mischa Barton

Well Played, Mischa Barton

Hold on to your hats and glasses, as they say at Disneyland, because this might just blow them right off:

Mischa Barton, the surprise Cinderella Story of this year’s Fug Madness — if going far in a competition designed to figure out who was the fugliest celeb of the year can BE a Cinderella Story — looks kinda great. The dress will not win any design competitions, but it’s pretty, it’s flattering, it fits her, it’s 100% appropriate for the event, and she doesn’t look like she just got dragged backward through a hedge in it.  Her face doesn’t look crazy, and her hair is…on her head. I CALL THIS VICTORY.


The Sixth Fug

I don’t know which is more disturbing:

The fact that Mischa Barton is posing with handbags at something called the Reality Rocks Expo, or that she’s doing it in a jacket made of a bathmat.


Fug Madness 2011: The Final Game

final game


AT LAST THERE ARE TWO. Two blondes. Two child actors turned teen-drama centerpieces. Two girls whose Get-A-Grip friends seem to have gone on permanent hiatus. Two women who have trampled over the likes of Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, and the combined power of both the Olsen twins and Will Smith’s entire family to make it here to the big dance, the whole sandwich, the one for all the marbles. Are you ready, Fug Nation, to cast your vote and choose which of these two Princesses of WTFery and frequent Oh Honey No recipients most deserves the crown of  Fug Madness Champion? Choose wisely — check out Taylor’s and Mischa’s archives if you need to — and remember, only their efforts from the past year (essentially, from Oscars 2010 to Oscars 2011) are eligible.  Think long, think hard, study the examples in the slideshow and carefully CAST YOUR VOTE:

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Fug Madness 2011: Final Four, Game Two


This matchup really encapsulates the battle of two different fugs — and yet I contend they’re not actually that different after all. Yes, Mischa probably thinks she looks good in all her clothes, without an accompanying statement. But just because Lady Gaga barfs up a lofty reason for all her attention-whoring — namely, that it’s art — it doesn’t mean she doesn’t also think she looks really awesome. In fact, I’d venture that she for sure thinks she is rocking our world. To me, the bottom line is, fug is fug is fug, whether you’re wearing it because you think it’s art or because you think it’s artful. But that’s just my opinion, and I always enjoy when our readers duke out their points of view in the comments. This should be a brisk debate. Bring it, Fug Nation. Certainly these two deserve whatever you sling at them about their outfits.

I think one big reason Gaga ultimately downed Nicki Minaj is how damn dour she is. Nicki’s cheerful craziness elevates some of her hideous clothes into something I can feel affection for, whereas Gaga just seems like she’s having a miserable time.

And who can blame her? She’s in Milan, spending all her time dressed as a dominatrix bride. I’m sure that’s not fun to do, nor to be around — I mean, would you want to hang out with this person? It’s like, “Oh, great, Gaga has to use the bathroom. We’re not getting out of here for another half-hour AND she’s going to need me to buckle her panties.”

I’m not sure I’d want to hang out with this, either:

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Fug Madness 2011, Elite Eight: Charo Bracket


Rihanna easily dispatched Ryan Cabrera to get here, ending his unexpected reign of hair-terror (hairror?), but Mischa Barton ended up beating the Family Smith by only the barest of margins, eventually squeaking to a win by approximately 100 votes after days of back-and-forth drama. If she were a basketball team, this is where the play-by-play dudes would note that she is probably EXHAUSTED.

She might be exhausted, honestly. I don’t know her life:

But how could that skirt not perk a girl up a bit? I feel peppier just looking at it.

Also, er,


Fug Madness 2011, Sweet Sixteen: Charo Bracket, Part II


Sometimes I wish my life had a soundtrack — like, every sidewalk would be a catwalk for me if I had the right background music. And I think Jada Pinkett Smith lives that.

Like, you don’t wear that outfit (or, in Willow’s case, this one) if you’re not hearing something seriously badass in your head — like, a Jay-Z song, or “Hot Blooded” by Foreigner, or of course the Dynasty theme song as re-imagined by Britney Spears (which, also, let’s please get someone on that).

Whereas I think Mischa is walking to something a bit more depressing:

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