“I know, I know. Trust me, dudes. I TRIED.”
Fugger: Mila Kunis
The disadvantage for Mila Kunis is that she has set the bar INCREDIBLY high. There was no way she was going to keep her streak alive of really interestingly gorgeous stuff, because all such streaks end eventually: The Patriots eventually lose, Susan Lucci eventually wins, even Mad Man and Vampire Diaries have had some boring episodes here and there. It happens. And it’s not that this is bad, or a snoozeathon — in fact the color is nice and the bodice is sort of trying something — but it’s just not… I don’t know. What more was I expecting? Why can’t I embrace it fully? Will this be one of life’s great mysteries, like why there are secretly so many Cutting Edge sequels? (THREE. Four movies total! I KNOW.)
I offer you this photo as proof that the Olsen Twins ARE detachable. Which may disappoint Justin Timberlake, if he started dating Ashley (allegedly) in the hope that it was a two-for-one deal. Ashley seemed unusually cheerless on this night in her stumpifying dress, which MAY be attributable to what her supposed fling was up to the night before in California. AND with a girl who knows how to dress for her height. Tough break.
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Well. THIS should never have happened.
MILA KUNIS: What? I mean, which thing in particular?
MICHELLE: The thing where we’re two actresses, dark hair, roughly the same height, standing next to each other wearing black and the same hair. So awkward.
MILA: That’s all? You don’t want to talk about your dress?
MICHELLE: What’s wrong with my dress? I was thinking it was so awkward for you, standing there in basic black being really unfamous next to someone who was on both Buffy AND Gossip Girl.
MILA: Oh. And here I was feeling weird for you because your makeup makes you look sickly and your dress is sagging under the weight of the TP someone’s little brother glued to it.
MICHELLE: Don’t try and pull that with me, pipsqueak. What CW shows have you been on?
MILA: … Yes, you’re right, none. Boy, you got me.
MICHELLE: YES I DID.
MILA: I will go cry myself to sleep as images of the phrase “Golden Globe-nominated actress Mila Kunis” dance in my grieving head.
MICHELLE: Oh, please. Everyone knows the Golden Globes don’t actually exist.
MILA: Neither did your Buffy character, sort of.
MICHELLE: If you even TRY to talk Buffy nuance with me I will sic the Whedonverse on you so fast, your eyes will shoot daiquiries.
MILA: Fair enough. Let’s just call this a wash and never speak again.
I am sort of obsessed with how Giuliana Rancic says “Mila Kunis.” Seriously, tune into Fashion Police tonight and listen. She REALLY enunciates it in a weird way — she pronounces it like it’s a euphemism for “vagina.” It amuses me. It probably doesn’t amuse Mila. Good thing she has her own hotness to keep her warm. Seriously. Check it out: