Fugger: M.I.A.

Fug The Whole Thing: The YouTube Music Awards


I really, really thought this was going to be Jack White in Halloween teeth. It’s not. And I don’t know who should be more upset by my misconception.

[Photos: Getty]

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Paper Fugs


This photo has rendered me speechless for several days now.

It’s too much. In fact, literally too much — I count no fewer than four layers on her top half, one of which is a vest fashioned like a giant purse, as if someone took the boob epithet “funbags” and decided to turn it into a reality. I’m not sure what to subtract here because there are so many permutations, and that’s way more math than I’m equipped to do on a Wednesday afternoon. Too bad I sold my graphing calculator when I was 18, because I’m pretty sure it would have come in handy.

[Photo: Splash]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Versace Show


Most of this went well. UNTIL IT DIDN’T.

[Photos: Getty, WENN.com]

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Met Ball Fugs and Fabs: The Last Four People In My Lightbox


In which WE ARE FINALLY DONE. I’m sure I missed someone by accident, but it’s too late now. MWA HA HA. I AM FREE. And also newly enamored of Emily Blunt. So in that sense I am still imprisoned… by my girl crush.

[Photos: Getty]

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M.I.Fug


So there’s basically no way that is could be considered in any way appropriate, right?

Just checking. Although, honestly, wearing a burka covered in lyrics from your album and giving the camera the bird is almost too on the nose when it comes to the Offending People As a Way of Getting Attention sweepstakes. Like, it seems SO OBVIOUSLY designed to get people all worked up that it comes all the way around and turns boring again. You REALLY want to get people’s attention in this post-Gaga age? You have to work harder than this. Let’s brainstorm: start traveling everywhere with Buckethead and when people stop paying attention to you, make out with the bucket! Dress like a goat and then dramatically set yourself on fire at the end of the night!  Walk around with a man-face stuck on the back of your head, like Voldemort under Quirrell’s turban in Harry Potter and the One Where Voldemort’s Living on the Back of a Dude’s Head (which is what we call Sorcerer’s Stone in my house)! WORK FOR IT.

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: M.I.A.


This gown is like a medley of Amber Rose’s greatest hits. 

It’s a catsuit, worn under her Puritanical sweater-armor, which snagged on an acrylic nail and unraveled into a formal, metallic ode to Amber’s “Pluck Me” ensemble. If Kanye were here, he’d have strong, capsy words about M.I.A. trying to ride on Amber’s coattails, before saying, “I CAN’T RAP MY BRAIN AROUND THIS, AND DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? THE INTERSECTION OF CREATIVITY AND INNOVATION IS WHERE MY BRAIN IS BORN. I NAMED IT YES. PEACE OUT.” And even M.I.A. would have to slink off into a corner and think about the poignancy of that wise nonsense.
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