Fugger: Leighton Meester

Fugsip Girl


I’ve missed ol’ Leighton “Bull True” Meester. She was routinely the best part of Gossip Girl, and I see her as very much a TV person — which people used to act like was some kind of insult, but it’s not, not even remotely, and certainly not from me — so it’s high time she found herself a good new vehicle. Agents of SHIELD seems very bland to me; perhaps she can help. Or maybe she can go rock Klaus’s world on The Originals. Blair Waldorf would’ve made a hilarious vampire. She’d be so fastidious, and so cranky about getting blood on her couture.

Okay, enough babbling. Here is the future Mrs. Adam Brody:

This is not how I”d hoped she’d resurface: in bonkers coveralls and nude pumps, looking like the proud mother of this year’s American Automobile Association Mechanic of the Year.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Target + Neiman Marcus Event


I find it hilarious that, after this collaboration spent all that money putting serialized ads in the middle of that one terrible Revenge episode, none of the cast members were at the party. Surely Christa B. Allen was available; it’s not like Charlotte has anything worthwhile to do on that show.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]

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Fugsip Girl


I’m sure there’s some practical interpretation of this outfit, despite the fact that it’s been totally warm in New York lately, and that’s where Gossip Girl films, and there is literally no reason for Leighton Meester to be wearing this bizarro concoction:

I don’t even watch Gossip Girl anymore. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t tune in if Blair — wracked with depression over something that is, I presume, yada yada Chuck yada yada Dan yada yada split ends yada yada yada — turned into a sad and wacky layers enthusiast whose big plot line involves her trying to make Birkenstocks happen in a way that doesn’t say, “I’m walking around this historic city a lot, so just appreciate that these Birkenstocks are vaguely good and shut up.” (I say this as someone who wears her metallic one-strap Birks on walking heavy vacations and is also someone who had to buy said Birks ON vacation last time she was in England. You win, London. You always win. My feet hurt and I really want to walk all over your interesting streets.) But the sweatpants under the cocktail dress? Even you, Blair Waldorf, can not make that happen. I HOPE. I HOPE TO GOD.

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Fug or Fab: Leighton Meester


I’ve always preferred Leighton with the darker Blair Waldorf locks — kind of like how I know Cynthia Nixon and Emma Stone are not redheads, yet I despair when they decide to switch back to their natural blonde (although Emma found a great shade lately, but I digress). So it keeps distracting me from the actual clothes. Maybe I’ll just stick my left hand over her face and type with my right. Thank God I’m not live-fugging this for you or else it’d get slooooooow.

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[Photos: Splash, Getty]

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MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Leighton Meester


“What do you want from me?” Leighton appears to be asking.

“I’ve spent the last five years trapped in the Groundhog Day of TV storylines. I had to act like I was in love with Penn Badgley while he wore Helena Bonham Carter on his head. So maybe I need to decompress by wearing a t-shirt imprinted with a ski map of the Swiss Alps, and a half-Zbornak sweat-vest, and a dinner napkin that I stapled in the middle to make horts. And maybe I need to put it with lipstick that looks like a toddler who just ate some Crayola 64 and some shoes that are cute but also so uninspired with this whole blah outfit that it looks like I threw it together while I was in a comatose state and somebody spent three hours yodeling the Flashdance soundtrack to my sleeping body. WALK A MILE IN MY CUTE BUT UNINSPIRING SHOES AND THEN WE WILL TALK. Now, does anyone have some clippers? I need to get to Penn before the chloroform wears off.”

[Photo: Getty]

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Met Ball Feh Carpet: Leighton Meester


When we wrote up this dress in our slideshow of the Marchesa collection that included it, I wrote simply, “Eh.”

I think that still pretty much covers it. Well, actually, it’s almost overwhelmingly too positive. Because although this may look sparkly and fantastical in person, in photographs it looks dingy and musty and stale-smelling; that plus Leighton’s lightened hair and zealously bronzed skin — not to mention the clammy sheen it’s given her — just makes me think she ran here after being imprisoned in her uncle’s attic for five years. If Gossip Girl‘s writers are smacking their heads against the wall in anticipation of one more season, maybe they should borrow that. My actual preference is that they go full Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer, and I bet they and the cast would find that therapeutic also, but alas they’re probably already sociopathic enough in their own ways.

[Photo: Getty]

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