Fugger: Lea Michele

Fugs and Fabs: FOX Upfronts


Mindy, NO. SOMEONE IS PUNKING YOU.

As for the shows, which you can watch here: It’s a lot of high-concept stuff and then some retreads.

Wayward Pines: This is a limited-run M. Night Shyamalan show that’s basically trying to be Twin Peaks, except to ME the first three-quarters of the reel plays like a show that’s TOTALLY making fun of Twin Peaks. But I don’t think that’s intentional. It has Matt Dillon, Carla Gugino, Melissa Leo, Terence Howard, Juliette Lewis doing her Juliette Lewis thing, and Siobhan Fallon sounding like she’s reprising her character from Men In Black. Yes, I’m old.

Backstrom: This was developed for CBS in 2012, and they passed. That it ended up on FOX makes sense, because it tried to recapture the House magic with Rake (House as a lawyer, kind of) which failed, and now Backstrom is basically Drunken Messy Cop Who’s Secretly Super Brilliant. The reel has a hammy way of introducing eveyone, like Dennis Haysbert and Kristoffer Polaha, and it actually plays kind of like House meets Ironside, in the sense that THERE’S A RIGHT WAY TO DO THINGS, YOU GREASY DRUNK BASTARD, but DAMMIT, HE’S BRILLIANT. Zzz, mostly.

Mulaney: At the Upfront, FOX was comparing this to Seinfeld. It’s true on a lot of levels: The star is John Mulaney, a stand-up comic, bookending the reel with his act; the show and the character are named after the actor; there is an acerbic lady (Nasim Pedrad, overacting in kind of an alarming way in her limited appearance); there is a kooky friend who enters; the door through which said friend enters is reminiscent of Seinfeld’s door on Seinfeld, etc. The difference is that Martin Short is also there, as is a dog in a wig. I don’t know. Buzz is positive, but I thought this looked terrible and that poor Mulaney himself looks in way over hia head.

Gotham: If you’re into “Before They Were Batman And Riddler And Penguin And Cat Woman And Poison Ivy,” then you will be into this, probably. If you are into Ben McKenzie, you might ALSO like this, as he plays Jim Gordon. Jada Pinkett Smith is also in this, purring lines like, “You have a little danger in your eye. I wonder what you plan to do with that.” Ugh. But I will also note that I thought Sleepy Hollow looked CRAZY from its reel and now I LOVE THAT SHOW and the pilot turned out to be fantastic, so what do I know.

Hieroglyph: High-concept series set in the Pharaoh’s Egypt, with Condola Rashad as Nefertari and Max Brown (who was charming on Beauty and the Beast Season 1 DON’T JUDGE). I tuned out of the clip but will totally watch the show itself at least once.

Empire: This feels like someone thought, “Well, nobody has liked Terence Howard since Hustle & Flow. So let’s pair him up with Taraji P. Henson again and make him a music mogul and just sort of hope the magic comes back.” It looks okay? Pretty boring I think, but as it it has the POTENTIAL to be very soapy, if ONLY it gives in to those instincts. Actually, it sort of reminded me of Kingpin, from eons ago, which Jessica recapped for TWoP and which I believe involved a man-eating tiger. Let’s all hope for Tiger 2.0.

Gracepoint: It’s a remake of Broadchurch with Anna Gunn and David Tennant (reprising his role), and it looks sad and actually just made me want to watch the original, although Id’ be willing to check this out, too. I might’ve had enough of Remake Of A Small-Town Serial-Killer Show after season one of The Killing, though.

react:

Met Ball Fugs or Fabs: Lea Michele in Altuzarra and Dianna Agron in Miu Miu


The once and future stars of Glee seem to be on very good terms.

[Photos: Getty]

 

react:

Fug or Fab: Lea Michele in Juan Carlos Obando


I can barely pay attention to what she’s wearing because she seriously nearly twirled herself into a potted plant.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Unfug It Up: Lea Michele in Naeem Khan


Lea Michele has been all over the place lately, trying too hard to be sultry and tween-y and edgy, as if she can’t figure out which direction to go in to make people buy her album, and is therefore coming across as inconsistent and mixed-up and crazy.

This is no exception. The hair and makeup are actually fine, at long last, and the detailing on her dress is certainly intricate, but something about the entire design is EXTREMELY matronly on her. Which is quite an achievement on a gown that also wants that nude look, but seriously — and by design, I’m sure — its illusion netting is rolling like Play-Doh up there around her neck and at her elbows. So it doesn’t REALLY expect you to believe it’s that slinky and tricky. It knows you’re not fooled, and actually, it almost seems kind of over itself. Why else would it quit at the elbows? That destroys the illusion almost as thoroughly as the piping itself. Throw in the stumpifying effect, and you’ve got a cocktail that MAY have needed a bit more shaking before the bartemder poured it into the glass. Play mixologist in the comments. Be the Tom Cruise. Make cocktails and dreams, and if you want, give us a poem.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Coachella Music Fugstival: First Weekend


Otherwise known as Free People Fashion Week, and starring such luminaries as Vanessa Hudgens, Beyonce, Solange, Lorde, Jared Leto, Kellan Lutz, Kate Bosworth, and the Jenner girls and the Willis girls in some truly hideous things.

Speaking of: This was the second Coachella photo I saw. And I tweeted it and said that I was fairly sure it would stand as the stupidest one of all. And then some people gave her some REALLY stiff competition.

Loading ... Loading ...

[Photos. Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, WENN]

react:

Fug Kids Choice Awards Fug or Fine: Lea Michele in Elie Saab


She’s BACK: It’s Lea Michele, in a motherf’ing pose-off, with herself. Just the way we like it.

[Photos: Getty]

react: