Fugger: Joan Collins

Oscars Fugs and Fabs: Ladies in Black


Joan Collins, our patron saint, getting it done as usual. With bonus Jackie!

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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SAG Awards Alexisly Played: Joan Collins


Our recapping slates are pretty full, but we probably HAVE to try to cover The Royals in some capacity,¬†because of how Joan Collins will be on it as the Grand Duchess Helena (how she got that title remains to be seen — by the sounds of things her daughter Elizabeth “Queen Helena” Hurley is married to the king and not the blood heir herself — or, indeed, may never be explained). I don’t know how we are going to pull it off, but if Joan Collins can still give me Dynasty-style palpitations then I probably need to see where it goes. And she CAN still do it:

joan collins sag awards 2015

She is so fabulously legendarily Joan. Just please throw a drink in someone’s face soon. Actually, throw one in MY¬†face. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Dramatic Arts Reception At Buckingham Palace


You can espy what Kate wore — and her chatting with a variety of these folks here. The subtext of everyone’s wardrobe is, “OMG I CAN’T LOOK SLUTTY IN FRONT OF THE QUEEN.” Everyone is totes apropos. Although Helena Bonham Carter looks like Eliza Doolittle’s before pictures, that probably IS totes apropos for HER at Buckingham Palace. Additionally, considering that Ralph Fiennes was ALSO in attendance, do you think anyone got drunk and sidled over to him and said, “LET’S GO TALK TO BELLATRIX, YOU WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Replayed, Kate Middleton


JOAN COLLINS IS INVOLVED. I’m pretty sure you guys understand what this means to me. It’s the best thing ever. Kate appears to be having a really good time, too. I can only imagine she asked her for tips in case there comes a time when she needs to throw a drink in William’s face.

[Photos: Splash]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the “Glamour Women of the Year” Event


Marchesa has done it again. If by “it” you mean “made a young person look like a deranged old bride who was locked in an attic for thirty years.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Oscars Fugs and Fabs: The Legends


Right when Shirley Bassey started singing, “GooooooldFINGAHHHHHH,” I turned to Jessica and said, “She’s not performing this song. She is PERFORMING this SONG.”

[Photos: Getty]

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