Fugger: Jessica Biel

Fug or Fun: Jessica Biel in Chanel


I went with “fug or fun” as the header here because while I don’t think this is a full-on Well Played, it’s at least incredibly cheerful:

Jessica Biel

It’s separates, and I think I’d have liked them better if she’d, say, paired the shirt with some skinny pants, or tucked a crisp white shirt of some ilk into the skirt. When you put them together it starts to feel a little dated to me, like she bought them at some dusty old store in the mall called Zazzy. However, three cheers for the fact that she’s in a completely kid-friendly ensemble at a kid-based event at her kid-based restaurant. And also for the shoes. Never forget to applaud a well-deployed blue shoe.

[Photo: Getty]

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Au Fug: Jessica Biel in The Row


Bonus points for looking comfortable, I guess?

Jessica Biel

But then demerits for looking like she’s on QVC selling a line of Star Wars inspired glam nighties called Leia Down In Bed.

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Fugs and Fabs: The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Premiere


IMDb says, “Henry is an introverted architect. After the death of his wife in a car accident, he sets out to help Millie, a homeless teen, to build a raft to sail across the Atlantic.” I … feel like reviews would have to be SPECTACULAR to get me to watch this.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Oscar Weekend Fugs and Fabs: Jessica Biel


Her eatery Au Fudge — described at one point as “a Soho House for kids,” making me scratch my head to the point of damage – recently opened and has one Yelp review, and it’s not positive. So it’s probably for the best that she’s dipping a toe back in career-infested waters, so to speak.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Au Fug: Jessica Biel in Self Portrait


Biel had the climate right, at least — it was hot in Los Angeles, and so I can see why she went with a dress that screams Sweltering Summer Day Becomes Irritatingly Warm Summer Night.

Jessica Biel

Now, and I’m sure this will shock you, let it be known that I have never opened a kid-friendly eatery. But I feel like for the opening of HER kid-friendly eatery — which she has named Au Fudge — she might’ve wanted to make sure people didn’t think it was a vanity project, and thus, would wear something that looked as if she was prepared to pitch in all night. This does not suggest “getting your hands dirty” so much as “get your dirty hands away from me.”

It’s also very much like Vanessa Hudgens and Scarlett from Nashville combined to design a Greatest Hits collection for Anthropologie. Not my favorite vibe, and not supremely flattering to her chest, but at least she didn’t take this to a place of Sheer Pants again.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Marie Claire Image Maker Awards


Because every magazine needs a gala. (We already featured Kristen Stewart, in case you missed it.)(SO MUCH STUFF happened before and after the Globes, y’all. Does that mean next week is going to be totally barren?)

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugth Heaven: Jessica Biel in Monse


This thing is custom:

jessica biel baby 2 baby

You guys, what are we doing? If this is what passes for custom high-fashion, we should be hot-glue-gunning baby blankets to some old sack and sticking a five-figure price tag on it. WE WILL BE RICH. My flaming rage hand says mama needs the expensive pain-killers.

[Photo: Getty]

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