Fugger: Jennifer Nettles
Please note that I am NOT fugging the fact that Jennifer Nettles is so pregnant she was in real risk of giving birth, like, mid-lyric. Girlfriend is just doing her job.
But I’m not as happy with the person who decided it was his/her job to dress her fetus up as a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cabaret show.
RIHANNA: I look awesome. Even with this crazy fringe! It works!
JENNIFER NETTLES: MMMmmmHHHHHHHMMM!
RIHANNA: Excuse me?
JENNIFER: Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just strutting around in my quasi-jumpsuit. I learned from Steven Tyler that, when doing that, it’s imperative that you make self-satisfied grimaces. It’s a rule. They’ll never ask me to perform live again if I don’t make this face occasionally.
RIHANNA: The fact that you’re taking advice from Steven Tyler explains A LOT about those pants.
JENNIFER: How do you mean? I feel like these fit surprisingly well considering that the rise is the size of small child. Suri Cruise, say.
RIHANNA: There’s so much wrong about that sentence. You don’t even know.
JENNIFER: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Mmm!