Fugger: Jennifer Lopez

Fug the Cover: Jennifer Lopez on W Magazine

“HOLA LOVERS. Do you like my clothes? I said to them, ‘W, I need a white shirt. I need a necktie. I need to say SEXY COLONEL SANDERS. Why? Because he knows how to take care of breasts and thighs, and like his original recipe, The Lopez is forever.’”


Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Airport

You know how much I enjoy the random ensembles of celebs at the airport!

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Carrie Underwood in Yanina Couture at the American Idol Finale, with Special Guest Star J.Lo

“Um. Hey y’all, lovers!”

Carrie Underwood

“So like, I’m a superstar now, lover people, and I’m dressed as… um…. the bird coming home to roost in… the nest, lovers. For I am the… winningest?… of American Idol winners. You do not beat the Underwood, or… wait, that came out wrong. You do not… I Carrie’d this show, and… and also thighs. God damn, this is hard, how does J.Lo do it?”

let her tell you


Fugs and Fabs: The Daily Front Row Fashion Los Angeles Awards

The “Fashion Los Angeles” awards seems mostly to be about stylists, because no matter how hard people try, they can’t seem to make runway fashion a thing here.

[Photos: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Jennifer Lopez

It feels like either milady has a new stylist, or milady is learning that variety is the spice of life. Observe the subject in a dress I never would have expected from her at any kind of nighttime event:

Premiere Of Lionsgate's "The Perfect Match" - Red Carpet

It’s a bit like a drunk grandmother: The idea is fine, maybe even great, but by a certain point in the night it’s primarily just crinkly and off-kilter. Unfortunately for J.Lo, that phase arrived a lot sooner than it does with many grandmothers (certainly mine; my mother’s parents could PARTY back in the day, whoo boy). She gets points for the shoes, though, and for the new approach to life, even if her facial expression appears to be saying, “HOLA LOVERS. You are going to think I do not know how to iron. This is wrong. I do know. It is not hard, lovers! All you do is ring a bell and say, ‘Hello, Person Who Just Came Into My Living Room, go and iron my clothes.’ Poof. Done. I do not know what happened here but perhaps I need to set someone on fire.”

Of course, J.No has not de-sheered herself entirely:

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Lopezly Played: Jennifer Lopez in Las Vegas

“HOLA LOVERS. Listen. If you are surprised by this, then you have not been paying attention, which is ALSO the MEANEST thing you could possibly do to someone you love as much as me. Also, the tour is called ALL I HAVE. What did you think you were going to see, lovers? Small Samples Of What I Have? No. The Lopez is all-you-can-eat.”

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Golden Globes Unfug It Up: Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli

“No. STOP. I do not HOLA LOVERS while I am hydrating. It’s in my contract.”

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]