Fugger: Jennifer Lopez

MTV Movie Awards Fairly Normally Played: Jennifer Lopez in Versace


“HOLA LOVERS.”

jennifer lopez j.lo mtv movie awards 2015

“I have been tricked, lovers. I was told I would be given a major award, and so I put on clothes that do not have missing parts or mutant pants or a cape, and what happens? PLASTIC POPCORN. This is NOT AN AWARD. It is NOVELTY TRASH you could buy on Hollywood Boulevard next to the place with all the hand prints, and there is no PROTEIN in this at ALL lovers. Do not FOOD-TROPHY THE LOPEZ unless it is the Nickelodoen Kids Choose Me thingies where they put juiced kale on everyone. THIS IS NOT HARD.”

[Photo: Getty]

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The Fug Next Door: Jennifer Lopez in David Koma


“HOLA LOVERS. Did you see the news that I am a computer genius? I invented image searching! All it took was wearing one teeny green dress at the Grammys practically yesterday DO NOT GOOGLE INFORMATION SEARCH HOW LONG AGO IT WAS LOVERS OR ELSE I WILL NOT SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN and the Interglobe went crazy trying to find pictures of it and BOOM I woke up one day and Google Image Search existed. I made it! You are welcome, lovers. In the words of Bryan or Adam or whoever: Everything I do, I do it for you.

Jennifer Lopez Heads To "American Idol"

“And now I am going to uninvent image search because you do not need to find this again. You should not see me like this. So WEAK. So SQUISHED. So INEXPENSIVE. YOU DO NOT CHEAPLY STUFF THE LOPEZ. How many times do I have to ask the Pope to put that in The Bible before he LISTENS, lovers? Just put in another tablet thingy with orders on it. Easy.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the Kids’ Choice Awards


The good news is, this event brought with it SO MANY PATTERNS.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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American Fugdol: Jennifer Lopez in Valentino and Marchesa Notte


“HOLA LOVERS.

jennifer lopez instagram american idol XIV

“Do you like my blouse? Pants are for fools, lovers. Pants are for Garners. When you are the president of Legifornia, you do not play coy.

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Oscars Post-Party Fugs and Fabs: Stars Who Changed Clothes


It happens every year: We line up our posts for the day after the big ceremony, only to find out half the people we’ve already featured had another outfit on tap for the after-parties. There are a lot of tired stylists in Hollywood today, to go along with all the weary bloggers.

[Photos: Getty]

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Oscars Fug or Fab: Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab


“HOLA LOVERS. Another award show, another person who makes my cheeks flame with all of the rage. Yawn.”

[Photos: Getty]

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