Fugger: January Jones

Who Fugged It More at amfAR: January Jones in Tom Ford vs. Lea Michele in Versace


These two seem to have been the only ones who went with Nude And Shiny at the amfAR Gala, and I love a mighty duel, so why not pit them against each other? I trust everyone is holding their swords in their dominant hands, ladies. Let’s make it a fair fight.

Lea Michele in Versace

Lea’s Versace is about as basic as it comes. And if it had continued as it began, we might be throwing her in with the lightbox dump and saying, “Sure, why not,” because it would be slinky and pretty if not a world-enflamer. But that dumpy milky-tea-colored fabric at the bottom is like an admission of defeat. By someone. SOMEBODY stopped caring. Brown paper bags are for malt liquor, not legs.

January, at least, has nothing in common with Colt 45:

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Fugs and Fabs: CFDA Fashion Fund Event


In case you woke up this morning and thought, “I want to see some major celebs in major outfits waiting at the valet,” I have got you covered.

[Photos: AKM/GSI]

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Fug or Fine: January Jones in Boss


Strangely, she almost looks more like Renee Zellweger than Renee Zellweger does anymore.

January Jones

I almost think that hair alone, for not being all Snap Crackle Pop, could have pushed her into Emmys Best Dressed territory (which, by the way, we TOTALLY forgot to resolve; we will post the winners this week, we promise!). It’s not a super noteworthy coif, but it’s gentle enough not to have been distracting. Ah, what could have been. ANYWAY: The gown here is fine, very gently styled, with a nifty shimmer to it – but also, it’s kind of a visual shrug, no? The sartorial equivalent of throwing up your hands and saying, “Eh, I’m tired, let’s just do this for now and next time we’ll REALLY try to find something.”

How does this grab you?

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[Photo: Splash]

 

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Emmys Wah-Waaah Played: January Jones in Prabal Gurung


I love this dress. It’s almost as breathtaking to me (if not equally) as the Prabal that Diane Kruger wore. And if Diane Kruger had been in this one, I’d have toasted it with everything in my bar and the neighbors’ besides, because I think she’d have done it every service she has. Conversely, January looks like she’s trying her damndest to make the gown do all the work while she, like, thinks about salad or something. If I were that gown, I would throw a tantrum at her.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Celebs in Jeans


“No events are happening this week,” I muttered to myself. “It’s just everyone wandering around town in jeans HEY WAIT A SECOND.”

Let’s eyeball the denim, then, shall we? I cannot resist a good pair of jeans. I think Heidi Klum might take this one. She ought to just start wearing jeans to, like, the Emmys.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

 

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Fug Men: January Jones


I have been staring at this for fifteen minutes and I can’t… well, I can’t:

Everything she’s wearing is black, and if I’m not mistaken, they are all slightly DIFFERENT depths of black. They are also different depths of hideous. The blazer is mildly whatever, the tunic that might think it’s a dress is problematically terrible, and the pants are hot sliced loaves of no. Does she do this stuff on purpose so that we’ll all talk about how amazing her face is? If so… she’s a genius, because I just did.

[Photo: Getty]

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