Fugger: Charlene of Monaco

Royals Round-Up with Bonus Idris Elba


We continue to be Kate-less, as she and William are in the Maldives right now. I love them, as you guys know, but she was on vacation with her parents fairly recently, and the instant I read that they were on vacay again, I thought, “certain segments are going to give them a hard time for this,” and they already are. These two have a habit of taking a vacation before starting a long work trip — they’ve got that three-week tour in April coming up, which sounds lovely but will also be loads of people up in their respective grills — but this second honeymoon feels like it might be a little bit of a PR misstep coming so close on the heels of another vacation, especially since William is supposed to be in school. I mean, trust, if I could take multiple mid-winter tropical trips, I would, but you feel me. I’m not entirely sure the thought process here was entirely solid, is what I am saying. Their anniversary is the week they get back from Australia and NZ, so my personal theory is that they decided to jaunt off for some alone time while they could and weren’t miserably jet-lagged with a jet-lagged infant, but if I, rando American ladyblogger (who is, in fairness, writing a book about Royal Shenanigans) can predict the side-eye, then someone being paid for Public Side-Eye Predictions could also have done so. Maybe their Public Side-Eye Predictors are EVIL! Wait, let me write that down….

…okay, I’m back. All that being said, the good news is that Prince Harry is making up for it by rolling around in camo pants, and going places with Cressida (which, meh, I am still unsold on her, but let’s discuss; this is the first time she’s officially been at a public event with him, so it’s possible my vote doesn’t count) and also there are robots and Victorian orphans and bonus Idris Elba because WHY NOT. IT’S FRIDAY.

[Photos: Getty, WENN, Splash]

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Fugs and Fabs and Fines: A Royal Omnibus


Kate and George were in Mustique for the week for her mother’s birthday (he’s gotten so big! And that is the body language of a woman who has lugged that baby around a lot; you can tell someone’s comfortable with the child in question when she’s toting him like a bag of flour. I have a picture of myself holding one of Heather’s kids at just a little bit older in the exact same fashion except he happens to be reaching for a bottle of beer. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SCANDAL? [I didn't give it to him]), but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t check in on a variety of royal or quasi-royal personages. Also includes cute puppies and a look at one of Camilla’s dining rooms.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Princess Charlene


Well. Striding around Monaco as a light snow falls, heading out to give Christmas gifts to children, in a dramatic long tartan skirt? I must confess that I amsold.

[Photos: Getty]

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The Recent Well-Playeds of Princess Charlene


With a special appearance from Princesses Caroline and Stephanie, one of whom is wearing A SCRUNCHIE.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Fug or Fab: Princess Charlene of Monaco


She may bring the Sadface — although it’s more like Placidface, really — but at least Princess Prisoner also brought the drama:

That neck is so Maleficent. It is a basket of evil. I imagine her falling asleep in the limo on the way home, dreaming of wearing this while grabbing a wand and brandishing it at Albert and hexing him with poxes unimaginable. The dress itself is weirdly pinched and gathered, and her makeup might be too bland for it, but… am I nuts, or is Morgan Le Sadface pulling this off?

Double, double, toil and trouble...

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[Photo: Getty]

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Well Played, Charlene of Monaco


It’s nice to be giving props to Princess Sadface rather than bemoaning how sad she looks — hence the name — and brainstorming people who could help her flee the country. I just read the old Andrew Morton secretly-authorized Princess Diana book, and I’ve decided that Charlene and Albert are going through the old Chuck ‘n’ Di We Only Appear In Public Together When They Make Us, Which Is More Often Than We’d Like, And Wow, We Both Regret Getting Into This thing. Here’s hoping it ends way, way better for them, at least.

[Photos: Getty]

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