Fugger: Catherine Zeta-Jones

Fug or Fab: Catherine Zeta Jones


I don’t know what she’s been doing to her face — Botox, fillers, veganism, sweet fancy genetics, DARK MAGICKS — but it’s working. I think she looks younger here than she did, like, a week ago:

Bonus points for that lipstick, which I quite like. People is telling me that she and Michael Douglas are working on their marriage, which is — if not true — surely the CZJ and MD-approved story, and perhaps she’s just happy that things may work out well for them. I also recently read a scandalous and possibly totally untrue rumor that she was having an affair that she ended when he got sick, which is what led to many of their issues, and if that’s true, I just can’t wait for either of their juicy biographies. Either way, we all win.

Let’s take a look at her dress:

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Fug or Fab: Catherine Zeta-Jones


I love CZJ for how graceful she seems to be under pressure — it can’t be easy having to announce that you’re in treatment again for your bipolar disorder, and on top of that, revealing your separation from your husband. Maybe behind closed doors she’s having a terrible time, but the effort it must take to put on a happy face and meet work obligations is, I’m sure, considerable, so good on her.

I just… I keep looking at this dress and thinking she’s just come from a quick bout of murder. Very FLOWERY, artistic murder, but murder nonetheless.

Am I overreacting?

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug of Ages


I mean. I love her, but….

I just feel like she’s better than this. It’s not TERRIBLE, but it is a little bit Velma Kelly for K-Mart. Perhaps she had it coming.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Catherine Zeta Jones


Things that go without saying: she’s gorgeous and I love her, and I want her and Michael Douglas to stay married forever and also, perhaps, I wish she had live-tweeted her reactions to Behind the Candelabra, because I suspect it was entertaining.

As for her ensemble:

She doesn’t look BAD in it — does she ever really look THAT BAD? Okay, THIS was terrible, but I mean, like, in general. But she also kind of looks like she’s wearing a bodyshaper with a tablecloth stapled to it. So that’s….probably not ideal?

OR IS IT?

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[Photo: Getty]

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Oscars Fug or Fab Carpet: Catherine Zeta Jones


As I said on Twitter, I love CZJ always.

And you?

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[Photos: Getty]

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Catherine Zeta-Fugs


For a moment I didn’t reognize this lady.

Is that crazy of me? Because now, I’m like, “Oh, right, of course, it’s Catherine Zeta-Jones,” but it took me far longer than it should considering that looking at photos of people like her is basically my job. I don’t even know who I thought it was — part of it is that I forgot CZJ was even in Rock of Ages, so I had to solve that riddle as well, and between this and all the episodes of Countdown I am YouTubeing so I can play along, I just don’t have TIME for any more PUZZLES, people.

But, the clothes: Am I wrong to wish she and Julianne Hough (which, whoops, you’ll see in a bit) had switched outfits? That neon yellow would look astonishing on her, I suspect, but mostly I just want to cut this refried figure-skating outfit off of her before she breaks a leg attempting a heavily coerced triple axle. Plus, if you put it on Hough, somebody might look at her and decide it’s time for an Ice Castles remake starring her and, say, Keegan Allen from Pretty Little Liars (he’s got an apt Young Robby Benson thing going, kind of, right?), and I think the world would benefit heavily from THAT. We need more figure-skating movies. The last one we had was Ice Princess, and although I support the idea of making girls believe math is cool, we can’t let the genre rest on a film in which Michelle Trachtenberg implied it’s a carnival trick that you can master if you just go to physics class and buy a good calculator.

[Photo: Getty]

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