Carly Rae Jepsen had some trouble with the ceremonial first pitch the other night at a Rays game – indeed, it wasn’t so much a “pitch” as a “dribble.” But I would contend that her problems began earlier than that, in her dressing room:
Her upper half knows it’s at the ball park, but her lower half thinks the Tampa Bay Rays is the name of a fake team in a musical called Full Count, which combines all the sass of A League Of Their Own with all the poverty of Annie and, naturally, all the jazz-flecked murder of Chicago. Perhaps I should just be grateful they didn’t rename the team the Tampa Bay Raes for the day, and call it quits here and have some ice cream. Yes. Done.