Fugger: Cameron Diaz
CAMERON: Hi, Tom! So nice to see you.
TOM: You too, Cam.
CAMERON: I’m so excited about our Knight and Day. The title is awful, but we both seem kind of charming in it
CAMERON: I mean, I kind of like it when you play the charming, cocky asshat. I think I might be back in on you, Tom Cruise.
CAMERON: Hang on, what’s up with the subdued attitude? You mustered up couch-jumping mania for KATIE freaking HOLMES, dude, and now you’re standing next to a woman who used to serve her legs to Justin Timberlake as an hors d’oeuvre, and you can’t even get a LITTLE spazzy?
TOM: Sorry. It’s just that, while you look very nice, I am all torn up inside over whether you’d look better if the skirt were just two or three inches longer.
CAMERON: THAT is what you’re thinking?
TOM: I’m a man of many depths, Cameron.
CAMERON: Oh. Okay.
TOM: HA! Gotcha. I was really thinking how much more suave my hair is lately, and wondering if it’s because I’m doing an awesome job rehabilitating my thetans.
CAMERON: In that case, I’d prefer to talk about my skirt.
Damn, Cam. Crushed it AGAIN:
This looks fantastic on her. Somewhere, Gwyneth Paltrow is sitting up in her tastefully appointed garret, pecking away at a new GOOP all about how we should make our own vegetables out of recycled paper bags and rare elf-salt from the Arctic Circle, and thinking, “Why the hell was I not wearing that at a fancy Oscar party?!?” And then taking it out on her famous friends by forcing them to write articles for her newsletter about their favorite brands of socks.
Well, well, well. Wonders will never cease.
Usually, we’re crabbing about Cameron Diaz showing up at formal events looking like she hasn’t washed her hair in six weeks and/or is in the midst of embracing a new-age philosophy called WRINKLEQUE, in which nothing she wears can be touched by the cruel, hot fingers of an iron or steamer. But last night? Hot damn! Turns out all Cammy needed was a splash of Oscar de la Renta and a hairstylist who has her best interests at heart. Honestly, that’s probably true for all of us. But it’s still nice to get a little visual aid to remind everyone.
So, apparently Cameron Diaz presented something at the Golden Globes. I completely missed it, although I watched the entire ceremony — I must have been staring emptily at my laptop screen, desperately willing my fingers to type faster. It happens. So anyway, given the number of celebrities who skipped the red carpet because of the weather (ahem, Reese Witherspoon), I seriously thought for a second that Cameron here came out and walked it just for fun.
That would’ve been very cool of her, and super unusual given how most celebrities moan and wail about what a TRIAL it is to have to attend these things. But now that I know she did take part in the ceremony, I am no longer surprised to see her and can instead focus on what she wore. Which I think I like. The makeup… feh. But the body-skimming crimson is striking (even in satin; see, I’m NOT an absolutist!) and she looks extremely jolly and comfortable.
It’s even better considering that last year I wrote of her, “There are a few constants with awards shows: The band will try to play off the person who probably most deserves a moment in the sun (this year, Mickey Rourke), Ricky Gervais will go off-script any time he’s given stage time until they break down and let him host one of the telecasts, and Cameron Diaz will show up looking like she forgot she has a head.” Aside from my eerie prescience with Ricky Gervais, it’s nice to see that Cameron did at least REMEMBER this year that she should put on a little makeup (even if I don’t know how I feel about it) and slicked her hair back into a presentable and rain-friendly bun. A big step up here, I think, enhanced by the fact that she made it all the way there without wrinkling the hell out of that skirt. That’s a feat for the ages.
I kind of want to like this. Indeed, I DO like it conceptually:
But Cammy, there’s no shame in going up a size. Nobody will know but you. Trust me, it’s worth it: You’ll look better, you can inhale sweet oxygen, and you might even have room for some free appetizers and a cocktail. Hell, throw in that badass necklace, and for some of us, that constitutes a perfect night.
P.S. I think… no on the shoes. They’re too heavy with the outfit. Hooves are for horses, not humans.