[Photos: Getty and Flynet]
Fugger: Cameron Diaz
stringing along with Jessica Biel. So I guess I can’t suggest that Cammy did her best Boobs Legsly at the Bad Teacher, the better to rub her ex’s nose in what he’s missing. … Wait, what? They were pawing at each other? GAME ON.
So, you know how we complain all the time about how Jennifer Aniston is in a style rut? (Not to mention a PR rut — you can’t convince me that the revelation of her relationship with Justin Theroux hasn’t been timed to coincide with her new movie for all the money in the world.) I think Cammy D here is settling into a similar one:
As Jennifer Aniston is to strapless neutral dresses, Cameron Diaz is to shorts. (That’s the answer to the first question on the GFY SAT, a test on which there will be no math.) She doesn’t look bad in them, exactly, and there’s nothing really aggressively wrong with them (unless you hate formal shorts, which we do), but the whole thing is beginning to scream, “PLEASE CONTINUE TO FIND ME AND MY LEGS RELEVANT AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEE THIS MOVIE THAT I AM IN WITH TIMBERLAKE THAT THEY SHOT LIKE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO CAN WE DO CHARLIE’S ANGELS 4? OKAY, CALL ME.”
Because guess what this dress originally came with? An extra five inches. Which she sawed off just to underline It, highlight It, circle It, and then put squiggly Cathy sweat lines around It. Between that and the bad pocket and the whiff of desperation — it smells like astroturf and sweat – I can’t help being disappointed. Cam was so flawless last season — for the ceremony and the post-party — that I really wish we could get a do-over here. There is more fabric on her chest than on her thighs. Also, did she forget makeup, or am I just being overly hard on her? In the close-up… I don’t know. It’s there, but it’s not. I just want some false eyelashes up in this thing, you know? Just to see. Just to TRY. Instead all her effort went at reminding you that she’s totally cut. Cam, you could’ve spread it around a bit.