Fugger: Cameron Diaz

Fug or Fab: Cameron Diaz

So, you know how we complain all the time about how Jennifer Aniston is in a style rut? (Not to mention a PR rut — you can’t convince me that the revelation of her relationship with Justin Theroux hasn’t been timed to coincide with her new movie for all the money in the world.) I think Cammy D here is settling into a similar one:

As Jennifer Aniston is to strapless neutral dresses, Cameron Diaz is to shorts. (That’s the answer to the first question on the GFY SAT, a test on which there will be no math.) She doesn’t look bad in them, exactly, and there’s nothing really aggressively wrong with them (unless you hate formal shorts, which we do), but the whole thing is beginning to scream, “PLEASE CONTINUE TO FIND ME AND MY LEGS RELEVANT AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEE THIS MOVIE THAT I AM IN WITH TIMBERLAKE THAT THEY SHOT LIKE A HUNDRED YEARS AGO CAN WE DO CHARLIE’S ANGELS 4? OKAY, CALL ME.”

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MTV Movie Awards Fug Carpet: Romperfest

Insert the usual about how Cameron Diaz’s legs are impressive, yes, and we too would be tempted to show them off to all comers at every turn, etc. Seriously, we all got the memo. At this point I feel like I was strapped down while someone forcibly tattooed it onto my arm.

And formal shorts are one thing, but a romper? I’m sure she calls it a Summer Jumpsuit, but I call it Stuff That’s Only Cute Before You’re Old Enough To Vote, And EVEN THEN The Jury Is Out. I respect that she is not wearing a genital-flashing skirt, but basically, I feel like this is just sort of a crotch-saver. It’s, “If I could wear a skirt this short, I would, but I can’t without inadvertently offering the world free parking in my g-spot, so I’ll just go ahead and make it shorts and VOILA, my problem is solved.” Except it’s not, because then you’re in a ROMPER. Which anagrams to RE-PROM. And do that many people want to relive those days? I think not.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have wee Elle Fanning, who is thirteen.

that can be an unlucky number


Fug Madness 2011, Round One: Madonna Bracket

FIRST, some housekeeping: Some of you are having issues with the polls working correctly! Please know that our tech dudes are working on it, but we have stumbled upon something that may help, if you find the polls coming up “closed” or if they seem to think you have already voted and you haven’t: apparently, if you comment on the post, the system will then let you vote? Clearly this is a bug, and we promise we’re at work on it, BUT that might work while we’re waiting. Plus, don’t you want to talk anyway? YOU KNOW YOU DO. ANYWAY: hopefully, you will have no technical problems as you vote on THE FOLLOWING:


Don’t ask me why we weren’t paying closer attention to Florence Welch — or, as I’ve started thinking of her, FloWel (Flow Well?) — throughout the year. Because she is a CONTENDER:

A contender who never met a sheer overskirt that she didn’t fall MADLY in love with. Don’t believe me?



Oscar Party Fug Carpet: Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz appears to have caught High And Tight Syndrome (possibly from Heidi Klum, who has grappled with it all her life and should really start a foundation). This is a dress that screams, “BUT DO YOU GET IT?” and we yell back, “WE DO, AND WE WOULD STILL HAVE GOTTEN IT WITH AN EXTRA FIVE INCHES.” Because guess what this dress originally came with? An extra five inches. Which she sawed off just to underline It, highlight It, circle It, and then put squiggly Cathy sweat lines around It. Between that and the bad pocket and the whiff of desperation — it smells like astroturf and sweat – I can’t help being disappointed. Cam was so flawless last season — for the ceremony and the post-party — that I really wish we could get a do-over here. There is more fabric on her chest than on her thighs. Also, did she forget makeup, or am I just being overly hard on her? In the close-up… I don’t know. It’s there, but it’s not. I just want some false eyelashes up in this thing, you know? Just to see. Just to TRY. Instead all her effort went at reminding you that she’s totally cut. Cam, you could’ve spread it around a bit.


Who Played It Better: Cammy D vs Yvonne Strahovski

I might not even have featured Yvonne here, were her look not so strikingly similar to Cameron Diaz’s from last night’s Green Hornet premiere. Let’s let the Chuck star go first:

This is very pretty on her — simple, elegant, a light ruffle, great shoes, pretty hair. Not sure about the lipstick — it looks almost pinkier than nude — but I just love Yvonne, so I’m pleased she looks so comfortably, casually lovely here.  But there isn’t a whole lot to TALK about with it, which almost caused it to languish in my lightbox, until Cameron came along last night:

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Well Played-Along: CamCruise

TOM: We’re still doing this.
CAMERON: Still doing this.
TOM: Knight and Day.
CAMERON: Somehow, it’s not dead yet.
TOM: I probably need a haircut.
CAMERON: My shoes kind of look like the bouncer at a nightclub put them on my feet so people would know I paid the cover charge.
TOM: But you still look hot in that dress.
CAMERON: And you look handsome.
TOM: At this point, that’s really all these people can ask.
CAMERON: Is this movie going to haunt us forever, Tom? Will we be in, like, Uzbekistan in March, doing promo for this turd?
TOM: Yes, Cameron. Yes. They are going to wring us dry.
CAMERON: If that happens, I swear to God, I’m not bringing any heels. I might not even bring a dress. I might just wear flannel pants.
TOM: Amen to that.

Night Fug Day

I think Cameron Diaz’s expression here says it all:

It’s like, “yeah, yeah. I know. This thing is ridiculously short. It’s essentially an oversized shirt. Could we claim I’m wearing it as a salute to my co-star Tom Cruise’s seminal pantless role in Risky Business? Yes. Yes, let’s do that. And then tomorrow, he’ll slick his man-bangs up in a salute to my part in There’s Something About Mary, because turn-about is fair play. And then the next day, I’ll wear a fighter pilot’s jumpsuit and respond to all press queries by saying, ‘talk to me, Goose’! And then he can show up wearing my race car driver’s outfit from Charlie’s Angels! And then I’ll counter that by wearing HIS race car driver’s outfit from Days of Thunder! And then he can show up wearing my frizzy wig and mom jeans from Being John Malkovich, and then I will best him once and for all by preparing a series of cocktails while reciting bad drink-themed poems, dressing like Lestat, and, finally, marrying Nicole Kidman. Yes. THIS is how you make the press junket for an unsuccessful movie fun. GAME ON, CRUISE.”