It wasn’t so long ago that we were wondering, “What is the deal with Brad Pitt?” Sometimes he looked homeless; other times, like your friend’s creepy older “artist” boyfriend who always seems to be creatively blocked while making her foot the bill for all his whole grains. But suddenly, we’ve hopped in Ye Olde Wayback Machine, and here he is striving for Ocean’s Eleven levels of hotness.
Even Ryan Gosling is like, “Look at him. Just look. Why do we look like we could be the same age? Also is that a wig? Is this Animatronic Wax Brad Pitt? What is going ON here?” And the thing is: I suspect Brad had a little facial rejuvenation. But really, really GOOD facial rejuvenation. As in, he got Intern George to ask Randy Gerber to get Cindy Crawford’s dude’s number. Because it’s POSSIBLE Brad Pitt just finally got to take a really long nap after about two years of sleep deprivation, and we’re seeing a walking testament to the wonders of sleep. No judgment either way. But it’s fun to see Brad looking close to Classic Pitt again, one last time (cue Hamilton), before the march of time steps over us all. Also it’s 2 a.m. as I type this and I just caught a sidelong glimpse of my furrows in the mirror and HA HA HA time isn’t so much marching on my face as breakdancing. Maybe Intern George should get some of those digits for ME. IF HE WOULD EVER SHOW UP TO HIS JOB. He has the worst work ethic. I really needed his help with my holiday shopping but he was apparently too busy doing this (about 28 seconds in):