Fugger: Brangelina

BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS: Brangelina Is Dunzo And We Need to Talk


Breaking into your regularly scheduled Emmys posting with big celebrity news that we know you guys will want to discuss right now, and are already talking about in the comments: Holy shit, Angelina and Brad broke up. (That link goes to TMZ — which broke the news, although it’s been confirmed to People, so you know it’s true. And it is absolutely 100% for real true.) Obviously, the Daily Mail has done a DEEP AND INTENSE accounting of all possible intel, as well, in case you need to be brought up to speed.

There is MUCH TO DISCUSS:

a) There have been Blind Items for weeks indicating that Brad may have stepped out on Angie with Marion Cotillard. JUST YESTERDAY, I said to Heather, “I cannot imagine Brad and Angelina will ever break up,” and she said, “I assume they’ll wait until the kids are older, if they do.” Well. WHAT DO WE KNOW?

b) The timing of this is masterful. Team Jolie waited until the Emmys were over, and the news leaked once every journalist in the United States was awake and, if not at her desk, about to be at her desk.  Angelina has utterly positioned the story so that she is the noble and wronged party — per the gossip, Brad might have cheated; in their divorce proceedings, she’s saying he has an “anger problem,” substance abuse issues, and she didn’t like his parenting style. Whether any of this is true, of course, is wholly speculative — although Brad Pitt has been a pothead, at least, since God was a child. Time to drag out my Team Angelina tee shirt, if only because this is some JUICY ASS GOSSIP that’s using the media like a boss, and, let’s get real: I LIVE FOR THAT. (You know someone at Kitson is digging around the back of their storeroom looking for backstock of Team Angelina baseball tees right now.)

c) Somewhere in West Hollywood, Jennifer Aniston has thrown her cell phone in the pool and is on her laptop booking a flight to somewhere remote, where no one can reach her for comment. Nepal? Nepal’s good.

LET’S TALK IT OUT. Am I terrible for also thinking, “ooooh, who will date who next? Is Marion going to break up with whatshisname? Will Jennifer Aniston and Angelina form an Ex-Wives Club and OWN THIS TOWN and also maybe make a movie about this? WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?”

[Gif via GIPHY]

react:

Fugs and Fabs: More Celebrity Airport Style


This installment of Celebrities Wearing Things At The Airport is EXTREMELY A-list, you guys.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

react:

Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Airport, Again


This particular version of this feature proved to be surprisingly A-list.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

react:

Recent Fugs and Fabs: Celebs at the Airport


I’d just like to thank the universe for the fact that celebrities are ALWAYS arriving and departing from a variety of airports. This is a well of material for us that will never run dry. So many weekender bags! Lord, stop me from buying another weekend bag.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

react:

Golden Globes Timelessly Played: Brad Pitt


It wasn’t so long ago that we were wondering, “What is the deal with Brad Pitt?” Sometimes he looked homeless; other times, like your friend’s creepy older “artist” boyfriend who always seems to be creatively blocked while making her foot the bill for all his whole grains. But suddenly, we’ve hopped in Ye Olde Wayback Machine, and here he is striving for Ocean’s Eleven levels of hotness.

brad pitt golden globes ryan gosling 2016

Even Ryan Gosling is like, “Look at him. Just look. Why do we look like we could be the same age? Also is that a wig? Is this Animatronic Wax Brad Pitt? What is going ON here?” And the thing is: I suspect Brad had a little facial rejuvenation. But really, really GOOD facial rejuvenation. As in, he got Intern George to ask Randy Gerber to get Cindy Crawford’s dude’s number. Because it’s POSSIBLE Brad Pitt just finally got to take a really long nap after about two years of sleep deprivation, and we’re seeing a walking testament to the wonders of sleep. No judgment either way. But it’s fun to see Brad looking close to Classic Pitt again, one last time (cue Hamilton), before the march of time steps over us all. Also it’s 2 a.m. as I type this and I just caught a sidelong glimpse of my furrows in the mirror and HA HA HA time isn’t so much marching on my face as breakdancing. Maybe Intern George should get some of those digits for ME. IF HE WOULD EVER SHOW UP TO HIS JOB. He has the worst work ethic. I really needed his help with my holiday shopping but he was apparently too busy doing this (about 28 seconds in):

this is so worth it. please treat yourself

react:

Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie


I don’t know anymore.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt by the sea premiere

The dress is empirically pretty (and Brad has taken pains to try and reboot himself to Ocean’s Eleven levels of Pittness). She doesn’t NOT look pretty in it. Yet I so rarely feel like Angelina is a part of things. She might be one you have to see in motion, perhaps, if if you know what I mean? Standing still, there’s a disconnect. She feels unplugged– from the clothes, from the scene, all of it. I almost wish she’d just mess up her hair a bit and throw on a red lip and a perfectly tailored suit. Either something tux-like, or just in a funky fabric. Something that recaptures a little bit of that old biker essence, the one that gave her that spark that was so hard to ignore.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Finely Played, I Guess: Angelina Jolie in Luisa Beccaria


I mean, whatever. Brad still looks like he’s a performance artist, and Angelina looks elegantly bland.

angelina jolie brad pitt

“Elegant” being, at least, a complimentary word. It’s a pretty color, and I appreciate the glittery belt. But I’m so distracted by the fact that these two constantly photogrpah like they’re cousins who were forced to attend Prom together.

But it’s better than this, which (as of this writing) just hit Ye Olde Wires:

Read More

react: