Fugger: Brangelina

Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie

I don’t know anymore.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt by the sea premiere

The dress is empirically pretty (and Brad has taken pains to try and reboot himself to Ocean’s Eleven levels of Pittness). She doesn’t NOT look pretty in it. Yet I so rarely feel like Angelina is a part of things. She might be one you have to see in motion, perhaps, if if you know what I mean? Standing still, there’s a disconnect. She feels unplugged– from the clothes, from the scene, all of it. I almost wish she’d just mess up her hair a bit and throw on a red lip and a perfectly tailored suit. Either something tux-like, or just in a funky fabric. Something that recaptures a little bit of that old biker essence, the one that gave her that spark that was so hard to ignore.

[Photo: Getty]


Finely Played, I Guess: Angelina Jolie in Luisa Beccaria

I mean, whatever. Brad still looks like he’s a performance artist, and Angelina looks elegantly bland.

angelina jolie brad pitt

“Elegant” being, at least, a complimentary word. It’s a pretty color, and I appreciate the glittery belt. But I’m so distracted by the fact that these two constantly photogrpah like they’re cousins who were forced to attend Prom together.

But it’s better than this, which (as of this writing) just hit Ye Olde Wires:

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Your Afternoon Man: Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt Departing On A Flight At LAX

Come on, why is everyone at LAX leaving Brad Pitt hanging like this? Sure, he’s wearing that hat he loves, the one that looks like it went through a house fire, but he’s cut the wacky hair and he’s dressed like a person and YES his shirt is kind of sheer, but I assume that’s because of the flashes of the cameras, and also it seems like perhaps Brad has been working out. So give that man a high-five already!

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the Kids’ Choice Awards

The good news is, this event brought with it SO MANY PATTERNS.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie

Well, it’s certainly slinky and shiny and giving her waist a wonderful curve.

angelina jolie critics choice awards

So why am I BORED? I think it’s because about 85 percent of the time, Angelina is either in tight black pants and a white shirt and a black blazer, or something befitting her whole Motherly Nightgown preference. And I’m not sure WHY, because she seems like a person who’d take bigger chances than that. If I could pin her down and ask her one off-the-record question… well, I would not ask the one I’m about to type. I have about forty I would ask first. But at SOME point I would say, “Pick a dress in this room that you wish you were wearing and tell my why you AREN’T.” Like, what about Emily Blunt’s? Angelina would KILL in a skimming, elaborate red sheath. Or Diane Kruger’s — too precious, maybe, but it’s an ATTEMPT at least. Is Angie too afraid of not being taken seriously? Because that ship has sailed — at this point in her life as an actor, director, and humanitarian, you probably either do or you don’t, and it would take a lot to sway you in either direction. What if she were as adventurous as the preternaturally sophisticated and enviable Cate Blanchett, who manages to come off important and real at all times even when she’s wearing a glorified spider web? So I mean… you do you, Angelina, and if that’s what THIS is, then congratulate whoever found something that lies so beautifully on your waist. But if this isn’t really you and you’re playing a role, please claw out of your rut. Because you could DOMINATE if you wanted to, and I often wish you did.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Fugs and Fabs: Other AFI Fest Highlights

In which we ask, for the eleventieth time, “No, but seriously, WHAT IS GOING ON WITH BRAD PITT?”

[Photos: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Brangelina at the Unbroken Premiere

This is Gucci Premiere on Angelina.  At least it’s a pattern?

[Photos: INF, Getty]