Fugger: Ashanti

Fugshanti and Fuglange

SOLANGE: Hey, Ash.

ASHANTI: Hey Sol. How’s the Zeyonce family?

SOLANGE: Last I heard, B is the most beautiful human in the world, J is the lord of the geniuses, their baby cries rainbows, and the three of them together are going to save humanity from either itself or from Will Smith’s family. How is your mastery of the dark arts?

ASHANTI: I could tell you, but then I’d have to pox you.

SOLANGE: You ARE kind of dressed as the devil to my angel.

ASHANTI: And your name anagrams to, “So, angel.”

SOLANGE: And yours anagrams to “I, Satan! H.”

ASHANTI: Not bad.

SOLANGE: My outfit, or my anagramming?

ASHANTI: …. Yeah, never mind, both were actually sort of bad. And coming from me, that is SERIOUS.

SOLANGE: Guess I’ll be seeing you in Fug Madness.

ASHANTI: I would guess so.

[Photos: Getty]



Let’s start at the bottom: Since wore this for a performance, and now she’s in slippers, I’m pretty sure Ashanti was just slipping into something more comfortable for the ride home. So ¬†I won’t ding her there.

HOWEVER. That still leaves us with much material. When it comes to fug, Ashanti is a land of plenty.

The hair is terrible, like a half-hearted addiction to year-old Rihanna. The top looks like she’s being felt up by a moron in oven mitts, and her pelvis looks like it just got a job as a cocktail waitress at Xanadu.

And there’s more.

how could that be? and yet it is




I have sat here waving my hands around for the last five minutes trying to understand which obscure fertility deity she thinks she is. To be fair, Ashanti is at some random fashion show and is thus garbed in one of the label’s designs, but ALSO to be fair, Michelle Williams and Petra Nemcova were also present and they didn’t feel the need to wear a ¬†glorified vaginal sheath:

i am still in shock


Always on Fug

Hey Ashanti,

This dress isn’t bad. Seriously. And you look great from the neck up. But do you think I could interest you in going up a size? Because I’m pretty sure something is considering popping out. So….no? No, you’re not interested. Okay. Fair enough. None of my business. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.



New York Fugshion Week: Day One

We saw Ashanti at BCBG on Thursday morning — always our Fashion Week opener – and she gave us this:

Yes: the finger. Via her shoes. With a long pink nail. To be clear, she was totally cheerful and friendly the whole time; she just happened to be wearing these Massimo Doganas, which the Internet says cost about $1100 (and are called F U shoes, and also have the phrase spelled out in cursive on the platform). For that kind of money, it should also be able to shave her leg, moisturize it, and contract the finger to scratch any itches she might develop. But at least this achieved one very important thing: I totally now have my Halloween costume set for next year. No need to bother with the rest of Ashanti — I’m JUST going to go as this shoe. And then later also possibly try to sell ad space on my feet to the American Sign Language people.

I suppose you might want to see what one wears WITH F U shoes. Here is Ashanti’s option:

it will never live up to the shoe’s promise



So, do we think this is Ashanti in costume as a leopard…

[Photo: Splash News]

… or a leopard in costume as Ashanti? Because each one makes about as much sense as the other, but at least the leopard would have an excuse for a corset.