Fugger: Anna Paquin

Oscars Fugs and Fabs: The Rest (Enticing Headline, I Know)

This is the part of the week where we feel tapped out, like we’ve made every comment that could ever exist about any dress, ever, in the history of dresses. And yet there are always pictures left in our lightboxes, the ones we would glance at and then think, “Eh, I’ll do that later,” or, “I need to think about it,” and then suddenly it’s Friday morning and we just don’t have any gas left in the tank. But in the interests of being as complete as we can, we want to give you RDJ, and Salma, and Paquin, and Michelle Rodriguez, and Emily “Revenge” VanCamp… we just want you to have nice things, Fug Nation. And sometimes a leisurely Friday oglefest is exactly what the Fug Doctor ordered.

[Photos: Getty]


Anna Fugquin

I just said, in my head, “Ew, this dress gives me the wigsies.” Now, that means nothing. At all. The SENTIMENT was that it wigs me out in kind of a squiggly, ooky way. But, churned around in my head, it came out sounding like a really asinine episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.

But for real, that transparent section looks alien. In fact, it reminds me of that scene in Alien – okay, Spaceballs‘ parody of that scene in Alien – where a critter pushes and pushes and pushes and finally pops out of John Hurt. Something is bubbling in there. Her torso is pregnant with two slow-cooking extra-terrestrial spuds. That, or her poorly made rubber torso — handy in Bon Temps to prevent supernatural creatures from snacking on her ribs — melted in the limo on the way over when the A/C broke. Regardless: tragedy.


Fug or Fab: Anna Paquin

I love this photo:

Anna Paquin’s face is really working lately. I don’t know why — maybe she’s growing into it (not that I thought she looked like her face was…er, poorly fitted before) or maybe she’s just happy, but she looks so pretty of late. I especially enjoy the slightly fuzzy, maternally-proud-looking woman smiling at her. She seems like an awesome proud PR ball-buster and I probably want to get coffee with her.

So I thought all that when I saw this picture and I also thought, “HOLY CRAP. Anna Paquin is ALSO in Scream 4? IS ANYONE NOT IN SCREAM 4?” Seriously. If you’re reading this and you’re an actress between the ages of 17 and 32, and you are NOT in Scream 4, please put down your laptop and call you agent and find out WHY. Then come back and hang out for a while, and please know that even if we make fun of your pants, it’s just because we want the best for you and by “the best,” we mean “better pants.”

But what is she wearing?


Oscars Fugs and Fabs: Best and Worst Reds

Yet again, the default hue for everyone who wanted color was red. In fact, there was an interesting article in the New York Times before the Oscars about Jennifer Lawrence’s stylist, in which she asked the folks at handbag guru Judith Leiber whether they’d heard about much red, and the answer was — as of five days prior to the telecast — that only one other person had mentioned it. Lawrence’s stylist replied:

“See, this is the reason it worries me. [...] There have been a lot of red dresses out there in the past season, so it seems a little obvious, it’s annoying. It’s always an Oscar color, but it’s maddening.”

And here we are, with no fewer than thirteen people in the shade (and Hathaway did it twice). A lot of them did it really, really well… but not all of them. Let’s take a tour through the options and then pick a definitive winner and loser. The winner gets bragging rights, and the loser has to wear a hat made out of Melissa Leo’s “CONSIDER ME” ads.

Best red:

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Worst red:

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Emmy Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Anna Paquin

True Blood isn’t my thing, but I read the first book on which it’s based (and I liked it), so I know Anna Paquin’s character can hear people’s thoughts.

That may account for her facial expression here, because if she’s paging through the chapters of my brain, she is probably getting a jumble of delight at HBO’s Hard Knocks; sadness that the first season of the funny, touching Huge is coming to an end already; a grocery list; and then a raft of indecisive comments about her outfit. On first blush I loved the Egyptian drama of her McQueen, but the more I look at it, the more it looks like she’s wearing some kind of two-headed boat that collects you in the afterlife and takes you the chamber where you hang out with Osiris and get all your innards weighed. And I can’t get over feeling like the front hem looks less deliberate than like it got caught in her Spanx in the ladies’ room.
However, I love Egypt, and I’m pro-Spanx, so maybe my first instinct was the right one. Please advise.

SAG Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Anna Paquin

It truly is time for that Ghostbusters III movie they keep threatening to make. I’m serious: we’re getting zeitgeisty up in here. First, Ghostbusters star Sigourney Weaver almost pulled out Fug Nation’s Best Dressed at the Globes (and would have, I think, if Amanda Palmer had more disorganized fans). Then, just this other day I had this whole conversation about whether or not Ray Parker, Jr — composer of the Ghostbusters theme song — was dead. (He’s not. STAY ALIVE RAY.) And now Anna Paquin, like Lily Cole before her, wears a dress from what I’m privately calling Alexander McQueen’s Zuul Collection:

I actually originally thought it was the same dress, but of course, now that I’ve looked at them both, it is not. It just has a similar Gozar The Gozerian aura to it. Don’t misunderstand me. While some people would think that comparing the pattern on a dress to an ancient, evil, shape-shifting demon is an insult, I actually like this. I will admit that I’m not 100% sure if I think it’s fancy enough for the event. Even though I do kind of like the idea of treating the SAGs — or, as I call them, “Hollywood’s Most Self-Congratulatory Awards Show,” which is saying A LOT — as a sort of more casual event. Okay, I’ve talked myself into it: THUMBS UP.