She looks great and all, but I really want to talk about how Johnny Depp is totally a Serial Engager. Amber Heard is his FIFTH fiancee — he only married the first one, before he was a star, and then put a ring on Sherilyn Fenn, Jennifer Grey, AND Winona Ryder, none of whom made it to the altar. That is a lot of broken engagements. No judgement — personally, I think it’s glamorous to leave a trail of broken engagements in your wake — but you know if he were a woman, everyone would have their hair on fire over this. Thank God he didn’t get a tattoo for each of them. Winona Forever is famously changed to Wino Forever, but what do you change Always Sherilyn into? Always Her? Anyway. Amber looks pretty, her ring is lovely, I like her shoes, and if they actually make it down the aisle, I will eat a roll of quarters.