Fugger: Alexa Vega

Kids Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: Patterns

I am dying to know what Bella Thorne was going to wear that she decided would clash fatally with the backdrop, as it seems nobody else was particularly concerned with that.

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs and Fabs: The ALMA Awards

Widow Longoria A WIDOW NO MORE? In other words: She looks sassy. But does she look good? Let’s take a look at her, and a variety of other ladies, from this weekend’s ALMA Awards, which did seem to be sponsored by the Color Red.

[Photos: Getty]


Halloween Fugs and… Fugs: The Weekend Before

Heidi Klum’s big bash is on the actual night of Halloween, but we’ve had a couple low-level parties in the run-up to the main event, and the outfits they’ve produced are exactly as you might expect: nudity, bad wigs, and Scott Disick carrying an ax.

[Photos: WENN, Splash, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News]


Improved: Alexa Whatshernuts….Vega.

Alexa Vega looks fine, right?

A little sexy secretary, a little maitre d’, all with a splash of Lindsay Lohan about the face. She’s a cutie. I mean, is it the most fashion forward thing you’ve ever seen? Does it just light your hair on fire with how creative it is? Is it making your face peel off with the blinding power of its awesomeness? No. But may I remind you that the last time we saw Alexa, she was wearing this?

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Spy Fugs

Oh my god, Alexa Vega, NO:

The reader who kindly alerted us to this little piece of lunacy noted rightly that it looks as though shetook a wee little sparkly bodysuit — like something that would be sold in a store frequented by pageant moms — and snipped through the crotch so as to make it a shirt. I don’t even have words for how very wrong this is. I know she’s 20 years old now, and she’s certainly turned into a lovely girl, and I’m sure part of her motivation in wearing this is to remind us that she’s a grown-up now and all, but the part where it all goes terribly wrong is that an actual grown-up would never wear a doctored red astroturf child-size bodysuit as a top.


Fug Kids

Yes, child stars grow up. I know this; I do. But I can’t look at Alexa Vega without automatically picturing her from the first Spy Kids film — which my older sister and I might have rented at Blockbuster a few years ago, but not without being embarrassed of our choice given our age, which led to a loud conversation at the register about whether “little Emma” would enjoy it, or be a brat about it, because “Emma” could be such a pill sometimes, like when she’d had that tantrum where she threw her Legos out the front door. We’re not sure the employee believed us, but we were pleased with our chicanery.

At any rate, Alexa was 13 then; she’s 18 now, and things happen when actresses hit that age (see: Lohan, Lindsay, The Leggings Obsession and Dilated Pupils Of). But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

And so, I tend not to like it when I see Alexa proudly showing off her baggy, oversized Mickey Mouse tank that would expose boob WERE HER BOOBS NOT APPARENTLY COVERED IN A GOLD LAME BRA, which is peeking out at me cheekily just so that I get hives. Seriously, that belongs on somebody at Spearmint Rhino. Not on her. Don’t grow up so fast, Alexa. There’s plenty of time for stripper clothes once you’re in your twenties!