Fug File: WTF

Fugs and Very Few Fabs: The Women at the Entourage Premiere


The majority of women at this event wore black, but none with such rampant crackpottery as Malin Akerman.

[Photos: Getty]

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CFDAs Fug Carpet: Kim Kardashian in Proenza Schouler


kim kardashian and kanye west CFDA Awards 2015

“MY GIRL’S DRESSED FOR BATTLE, MY FIERCE BÉBÉ-MÈRE, ‘CAUSE WE HAD THIS NEWS WE WERE EXCITED TO SHARE BUT THEN CAME CAITLYN JENNER OUT OF THIN AIR IN A MEDIA BLAST THAT WAS VANITY UNFAIR AND EVERYONE FORGOT THAT WE DID DECLARE KIM’S WOMB IS IN BUSINESS WITH OUR HEIRESS’S SPARE. LIKE WHY CAN’T SOMEONE PUT US FIRST FOR ONCE!!!!! I CAN’T EVEN TIE MY SHOES, I’M SO UPSET!!

“BUT DON’T YOU FRET. WE’LL SLAKE OUR PRESS THIRST WITH THIS PROENZA PANTY-SHEATH THAT COPIES KIM’S GIVENCHY WORST — SECOND UTERINE VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST — SO THAT Y’LL WILL GET TO TALKING ‘BOUT WHAT WE REHEARSED. NAMELY, NOT CAITLYN, BUT MY DOPE-ASS SPERM-BURST, UNTIL WE, THE ALMIGHTY KIMYE, CONSIDERS US REIMBURSED. ALSO CAITLYN YOU’D BETTER GIVE GOOD BABY GIFTS. THAT WOULD ALSO SOOTHE ME A LOT ACTUALLY BECAUSE I’M SUPER WOUNDED AND SENSITIVE YOU KNOW.”

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Cannes amfAR Fug Carpet: The Sheers


Might as well keep this pizza confined to its box, eh?

[Photos: Getty]

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What’cha Fuggin’ For: Gwen Stefani


Don’t speak, Gwen. I don’t need your reasons. Don’t tell me, ’cause it hurts.

gwen stefani

Besides, your pieces of flair are doing plenty of talking for you.

It’s even worse from the front:

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Mad Max Fugly Road: Charlize Theron in Givenchy at Life Ball 2015


You know how we’ve been so bored of The Sheers lately that we just talk about pizza instead?

charlize theron vienna life ball 2015

Well. Get ready to talk about pizza, pizza bagels, pepperoni pizza Hot Pockets, Totino’s pizza rolls, California Pizza Kitchen, French bread pizza, whether you think the whole flatbread genre is just pizza that’s very aloof, and that time I needed help writing a nine-dollar check to Papa John’s in college because it was 2 a.m. and I had been drinking a lot of beer.

[Photo: Getty]

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Billboard Music Awards Who The Fug Are You: Dencia


The award for The Artist Who Is The Most Certain That She Is Fascinating goes to this Dencia person. Her Wikipedia page says she has been called a cross between Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj…

dencia billboard music awards

… and I’m pretty sure that is only according to her.

Actually, her Wikipedia is quite curious. There are three different warnings at the top disputing the neutrality of the entry, which details how this Cameroon-born musician-type person has pioneered the use of a product called Whitelicious to change the color of skin — and that in turn has led to some back-and-forth with the likes of Lupita Nyong’o over a reference Lupita made in a speech. In short, Dencia seems like quite the controversial figure for a LOT of reasons, and I will be curious to hear what Fug Nation makes of all this. But when someone walks the red carpet in an outfit that looks like an anatomy textbook as written by Willy Wonka – which is not a compliment – well, it’s my job to inform y’all about it. Besides, Kathie Lee Gifford will be ENRAGED that someone stole her Sunday best, so that’s a feud we can anticipate too.

[Photo: Getty]

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