Fug File: WTF

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Miranda Kerr and Malin Akerman


Remember when Jared Leto got up to accept his award, and talked about waxing his body for Dallas Buyers Club, and his relief at not doing a Brazilian, and how women in the audience probably knew what he meant? I can think of one person who probably did:

I keep wanting to call this Divorce Thigh, but it’s also Divorce Groin. As that whole sport goes, I think Divorce Bangs are the one I prefer. (Side note: Do we think Pucci paid Donatella Versace a royalty for this design? I wonder if there was a rise in people Googling “Elizabeth Hurley safety pin.”)

Divorce Nudity, by the way, was going around:

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Kat Graham


And, no sooner did Lady Victoria Hervey astonish me with her naked grasping, than Kat Graham bummed me out with hers.

Literally.

And from the front:

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Golden Globes WTF Carpet: Lady Victoria Hervey


Not to put too fine a point on it, but: I think we’ve found this year’s tragic desperate assclown.

[Photos: Getty]

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Paula Patton


When she came out in this, after we finished clapping and covering our eyes, Jessica turned to me and said, “This is like if the dress Kate Middleton wore to the christening took growth hormones.”

[Photos: Getty]

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Emma Watson


This felt so promising when I only saw it from the waist up and before I realized it was actually, like, a backless apron over pants. Oh, Emma Watson. At least you look divine from the neck up.

[Photos: Getty]

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Julia Roberts


Dude, Julia:

JUST BUY A DRESS WITH SLEEVES IF YOU CARE SO MUCH.

Love,

The Universe

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