Fug File: WTF

WTF: Katy Perry in Pepperoni

Dammit, Perry.

Katy Perry Pizza Onesie (1)

Now I’m hungry.

[Photo: Splash]


What The Fug: Kim Kardashian

I’ve decided Kim Kardashian and Kanye are going to take the cultish furor around their coupling and turn it into an actual cult.

It will involve members building her a pedestal out of their own donated money, while she stands atop it, robes flowing, shouting, “Kanye has, like, the best taste.” When we need punishing, she will rip out a chunk of what they built and spend it on high-necked, skin-tight maxi-dresses from Balmain with more embroidery than your grandmother’s living room, or jumpsuits that make her look squat. And the first commandment will be, “Like, no corset should hold that which was given to you, because like, right?” Sometimes Kanye will come over and ask how he’s influenced anybody today, and he will send forty tweets for each person who can’t answer. It’s going to be great.

[Photo: AKM-GSI}


Fugging Ball: Miley Cyrus

My husband walked by as I was examining this photo and he said, “Yeah, you should write about that hat.”

Miley Cyrus (1)

It is amazing that he thought it was a hat, although I don’t blame him for trying to live in sweet, sweet denial. Pretending it’s a hat is a tender way of avoiding the reality that it’s something she attached to her hair:

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What the Fug: Jena Malone

This party was called The For Love & Lemons Annual SKIVVIES Bash.

Jena Malone

NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY. I realize these are made BY the company, but… from what I can tell, the only other people on the red carpet who decided to go in this direction were people I’ve never heard of, and then the girl who was Coco Rocha’s contestant in her season of The Face (I feel like Coco would be like, “Girl, my whole career is about how you can make a statement without going down Skivvy Boulevard”). And then Christa B. Allen, who wore this:

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WTF: Kate Hudson

Our photo service described this look as “magnificent,” and I kept thinking about that Seinfeld where someone describes a hideous baby as “breathtaking” and Elaine can’t parse whether or not it’s an insult when the same person also calls her breathtaking.

Because this IS magnificent, in a sense. It’s magnificently unflattering. Or maybe they meant that it was MALICIOUS. That ALSO makes sense.

This might actually be — brace yourself — worse:

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Very Good Fugs: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Well, at least her lipstick is nice.

Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Very Good Girls" premiere

But the rest of it is, as Jess said, fashion oatmeal: lumpy, bland, unappetizing, and like homework to consume.

[Photo: Getty]