Fug File: WTF

What the Fug: Rita Ora


I read a rumor on the Interwebs — from some tabloid or other, but not one of the big dogs — that Rita Ora is going to host the upcoming VH-1 reboot of America’s Next Top Model.

Rita Ora

Hmm. Will this be a Teach, or a Challenge?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Recent WTFs: Emma Roberts


Remember when Emma Roberts suddenly seemed to have a great stylist? That stylist is either on vacation, or under strict orders to add sartorial cyanide to the recipe.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

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What the Fug: Jennifer Lopez on the Today Show with Lin-Manuel Miranda


Apparently J.Lo not only recorded a song with Lin-Manuel Miranda and performed it with him on the Today show, but she also attended LMM’s final performance on Saturday night.

Jennifer Lopez & Lin-Manuel Miranda Perform On NBC's "Today"

And I imagine her being like, “Listen, lover, it was not terrible. The hair was good. And it was nice how you let the woman win, and killed off the cheating, tired, lying man, the bastard Batman son of a bore and a shot glass, who sometimes writes but always is so NEEDY and can’t stop SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE and maybe has more hair than he is supposed to. That was smart. But there was maybe too much counting. We know how to get to ten. Also, it would sound better as ‘Anjennifer, J.Loza, and Jenny, the Lopez sisters.’ Also, I was not clear on the location of his block. All heroes have a block. ‘Hammy From The Block’ would have been a better theme song than the one about doing shots. So whatever. It could have been special, Lover-Manuel Miranda. But it was good enough for us to work together to sing about love. I don’t write songs with just anybody, you know. Only my old Marc. And that one country Jennifer with the name that is a mean plant. And Lil’ Wayne, and Luda, and Flo Rida, and Nas, and Eggy Azalea, and Pitfall, and Sultana, and Ja-Thingy, and Ricky Martin, and French Dakota. And all the other people. Other than them, this is not something I do every day. So I am going to bring it for you. I am going to dress like if Lindsay Lohan’s old leggings line married American Apparel on a cruise ship. Because you know who is non-stop? LOPEZ. And when your next musical is the story of my life, I will let you play Marc. Unless you want to be Ben, but… you do not.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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WTF: Nicole Scherzinger


Is it wrong that I am really REALLY bummed this is a tiered hem skirt, rather than half-skirt, half-shorts?

Celebrities On A Night Out At The Chiltern Firehouse

If you’re going to go there, Nicole, REALLY GO THERE.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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What the Fug: Kristen Stewart in Jonathan Simkhai


This ostensibly artsy dress is more of a Rorschach test from Satan’s own inkwell.

Kristen Stewart

I say that because when I look at it, I don’t see a house, or a dog, or even a face. I see only a screaming pelvic vortex feeding on itself.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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WTF: Rita Ora


Sometimes I just want to post a photo accompanied with no copy. Sometimes all I can say is …. or !!!!!! or just [blank stare] or [uncontrolled coughing] or [eye roll]. TO WIT:

The Warner Brother Music Party In London

If you say so.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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WTF: Lil Kim in Ralph & Russo


We once got an email — this was many, many moons ago, when people would actually email you threats and hatred rather than just tweet it to you — in which the dear writer noted that if H or I ever spoke ill of Lil’ Kim again, said emailer would crush our skulls with her bare hands. (“WRITE ME BACK,” was the closer on this little love letter, which kind of took the sting out of the threat.) Sweet reader, better limber up:

Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2016-2017 - Ralph & Russo Show

Hee hee. I cannot look at this without giggling. This is how I imagine it would look if Lil’ Kim had to escape a burning building in the middle of the night. NEVER CHANGE.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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