Fug File: Well Played

SAG Awards Alexisly Played: Joan Collins


Our recapping slates are pretty full, but we probably HAVE to try to cover The Royals in some capacity, because of how Joan Collins will be on it as the Grand Duchess Helena (how she got that title remains to be seen — by the sounds of things her daughter Elizabeth “Queen Helena” Hurley is married to the king and not the blood heir herself — or, indeed, may never be explained). I don’t know how we are going to pull it off, but if Joan Collins can still give me Dynasty-style palpitations then I probably need to see where it goes. And she CAN still do it:

joan collins sag awards 2015

She is so fabulously legendarily Joan. Just please throw a drink in someone’s face soon. Actually, throw one in MY face. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

[Photo: Getty]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Kaley Cuoco


HOLD THE PHONE.

kaley cuoco sag awards 2015

Kaley Cuoco looks quite GOOD. Yes, okay, the hair still isn’t QUITE right — there’s something very ’80s about this phase, like she’s REALLY feeling Mary Stuart Masterson right now, and in fact, it’s possible she IS wearing Ryan Sweeting’s future on her finger — and her lips could’ve used some more color and she MIGHT need to exfoliate some of that bronzer off of her skin. But that’s a grown-up dress with a grown-up fit and a series of pretty bracelets. At this rate, come Emmy time, by Jove, I think she might get it.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Tatiana Maslany in Oscar de la Renta


This is one of those dresses that, I suspect, looks better on TV than it did in still photos:

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards

BUT FIRST: We need to talk about the fact that Orphan Black is dating Downton’s Tony Gillingham, who I find nearly unrecognizable when he’s not in a tweedy three-piece trying to talk Mary into marrying him! (NO DOWNTON SPOILERS although you can read this week’s recap here!) Did anyone notice if he went onstage when they won? He MUST have done. (I was distracted by how cute Branson was when he noted that they made him sit at another table.)

And back to the dress: I mean, don’t get me wrong: it still looks pretty good. It just vaguely, down near the bottom, might be starting to give me a TINY ocular migraine. But I’ll never be mad at you, stripes! I love you, and want more people to wear you. And because this is OdlR, it fits her so nicely:

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards

We can have a sidebar about whether this is technically gym hair, or it works, later.

[Photo: INF]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Viola Davis in Max Mara


I enjoy the woman standing behind Viola there, snapping a photo. And who wouldn’t? She looks fab:

The 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Arrivals in LA

Great dress, great hair, great earrings, great bracelet, GREAT clutch. That woman is right to take a picture, as it WILL last longer, and she might want to refer to this more than once.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Lupita Nyong’o in Elie Saab


I feel like it’s popular these days to act like the red carpet is not fun, or beneath people, or, “Ugh, part of the job, NOBODY SUFFERS LIKE WE DO.” If there is ONE person who never does that, it’s Lupita Nyong’o, and her fashion choices show it. She’s pure joy.

[Photos: Splash, Getty]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Rashida Jones in Emanuel Ungaro


It has come to pass.

rashida jones sag awards 2015

Do you hear the drumbeat of sixteen equine hooves? Are the clouds pregnant with bullfrogs? Are the locusts synchronizing their GPSes? Because Rashida Jones appears to have NAILED IT on the red carpet. If that means the apocalypse is coming, well, bring it on, because it was worth it. (Note: Offer void in California. Do not rain frogs. THAT WILL NOT ACTUALLY BE WORTH IT.)

[Photo: Getty]

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