Fug File: Well Played

Well Played, Rita Ora in Ellery


Okay, I know some of you are going to think I have lost my mind here, but bear with me:

Rita Ora Steps Out In NYC

Rita Ora is bringing us true Scruples realness this August! THAT IS HONESTLY A VALUABLE PUBLIC SERVICE. We NEED someone who will stomp down the streets of New York looking like she might be on her way to start a multi-million dollar shopping empire, circa 1984!

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played: The Glorious Swimming Abs of the Rio Olympics


You loved them in London. Now, romance them in Rio. I am pleased to bring to you, once again, the finest abs (and arms, and legs, and dimples, and also, surprisingly, glasses) of the Olympic pool.

[Photos: Getty Images, Tony G]

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Well Played, Rita Ora


Sure, this dress does over a plasticized interpretation of bunny ears layered over its bodice, but it’s still, somehow, one of the best things Rita Ora has ever put on her body. Yes, that is definitely grading on a curve, but STILL!

Rita Ora Steps Out In NYC

This may also be the first time that working on America’s Next Top Model has actually had a salubrious sartorial effect on its host. Right, Tyra?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played: Lizzy Caplan


At first I wasn’t sure what to make of this, but the longer I look at it, the harder I fall:

Lizzy Caplan

It’s such an intelligent match of lady to dress, because on the rack I bet that thing looks totally unremarkable and maybe even a bit weird. But you put it on Lizzy, and it starts to make a snazzy kind of sense. It’s helped by impactful lipstick and some shoes that MIGHT also be emergency teleportation devices, but honestly, its greatest asset is Lizzy herself. Nicely played, everyone.

[Photo: Getty]

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Your Afternoon Men: Arms of the Male Gymnasts at the Rio 2016 Olympics


The Wall Street Journal wrote an article the other day about how our male gymnasts WANT to be objectified. So I’m really just giving them what they want.

The premise of the piece is that men’s gymnastics is not nearly as popular as the women’s division, and while there is no overlooking the fact that this is because the men’s team is also not nearly as TALENTED, I like Sam Mikulak’s quote anyway:

“Maybe compete with our shirts off,” said U.S. star Sam Mikulak, the four-time, reigning all-around national champion. “People make fun of us for wearing tights. But if they saw how yoked we are maybe that would make a difference.”

Ergo: Look how yoked they are.

P.S. I knew as soon as NBC kept showing swim semis, and not the advertised gymnastics, that the men’s team had gone splat. But I’m hugely bothered for them, their families, their communities, and sports fans like me that NBC decided not to bother with them once they didn’t make the podium. They worked just as hard as any other team to get to Rio, so I’d have liked to support them in good times and in bad; furthermore, the competition was actually EXTREMELY tense and included one team quitting and two others in a hot battle for gold. NBC has gone on-record as saying women don’t care about the results of sports; they just want sob stories and drama. Well, up yours for that nasty, backward bit of sexism, NBC.

I don’t say this often, but: Learn from ESPN. When they decide not to show a scheduled event, they kick it down to ESPN2 or ESPNU and tell you about it. NBC has made a huge deal out of how many THOUSANDS of hours of Olympics coverage they are theoretically offering, and across how many different TV channels in the NBC Uni family, and yet NONE of them had space for the men’s competition? Streaming live is not an option for most people, so once USA’s scheduled coverage is done, boot the Law & Order marathons for three hours and let the gymnastics breathe there, if you ABSOLUTELY MUST evict it. Don’t just be gross and act like primetime only belongs to those who bring home spoils. How about human interest? How about the wonderful, heartening pep talk our guys gave to each other after the roughest night of their gymnastics lives? How about the lesson for our watching kids that class and sportsmanship and never-say-die are as much part of the Olympic spirit as winning? Shame on you, NBC. You’re not here for the athletes, you’re here for the dollars. We always knew it, but now it’s tattooed on your legacy.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Rihanna


You guys, Rihanna knows how to live. Sure, I may not necessarily agree with her shoes on, like, a conceptual level, but I tip my own baseball cap to the fact that she’s just casually rolling through her hotel lobby with her glass of wine.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Rita Ora


Rita Ora has been leaving the house SO MUCH LATELY. So I may have developed some level of Stockholm Syndrome with her. Having introduced that caveat: Is this not a HUGE upgrade in her usual?

Rita Ora Out And About In NYC

It’s downright…reasonable? And cute? And unfettered by bizarro shenanigans? Is this how you do it? Look crazy all the time, so when you pop out looking halfway realistic, everyone acts as if you mastered cold fusion?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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