Fug File: Well Played

Well Played, Penelope Cruz in Versace


SOLD.

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Whatever you’re selling, Penelope. I’m buying it.

[Photo: Getty]

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Well Played, Penelope Cruz and Kristen Wiig


I’ve decided these two are a good influence on each other, sartorially.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Mostly Well Played, Alison Pill in Talbot Runhof


I’m not familiar with this label — I keep reading it as Talbots Runoff, like, as if it’s unneeded supply from a spring outside a Talbots — so I’m pleased that I generally like it.

alison pill

The top might be a touch snug on her, but I like the curved design — that’s one way to avoid cries of “Just Hoik It” — and the flowered pattern and colors are really pretty.  I can’t honestly decide what I would have done with the footwear, so I’ll take those as offered; add a bracelet and I’d be happy. Perhaps even thoroughly charmed.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Penelope Cruz in Versace


Admittedly, this is not a well-chosen photo if all we want to do is look at the dress.

penelope cruz

But I am pretty sure the Dueling Steels on display here from Penelope and Ben “Zoolander” Stiller were worth the crusty angle. Don’t worry, though, I would never deny you a clean view:

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Well Played, Intern George and Amal (in Giambattista Valli)


This dress is pretty, the shoes are great, the lipstick is on point (I cannot say “on fleek” — I believe it’s actually illegal for a crone such as I to use that phrase). It’s all very upstanding and upscale.

Amal Alamuddin, Intern George

But George, why the smug look? I see you, sir. I see you on that red carpet, moments away from passed apps and some free Champagne, while we’re having more dumb ad problems. And the tech people are on it, and trying really hard, and that’s great, and I’m not trying to blame anyone for this, but IF YOU WOULD JUST SHOW UP TO WORK MAYBE THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. Just for that, I am going to eat ALL the snacks we bought you for Christmas.

[Photo: Getty]

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SAG Awards Well Played, Queen Latifah in Michael Costello


Did you guys watch The SAGs? You know how they always have an opening that’s like,”I’m So-And-So…AND I’M AN ACTOR!”? And sometimes they’re painfully self-congratulatory (sometimes the SAGs forgot that acting, although a fine profession that gives a lot to the world, is not pediatric brain surgery or hostage negotiation, or social work; Art is vitally important but you guys in that room are highly paid and widely lauded. Calm down a little bit)? And sometimes they’re really good, and Queen Latifah’s was really good. (Also, Julianna Margulies was at her table, and every time they cut to her over the course of the evening, she seemed to have a look on her face that said, “I LOVE QUEEN LATIFAH,” which pleased me.) Also really good?

22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards - Red Carpet

This dress.

[Photo: Getty]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Tina and Amy and Carol


That is a Drinks With Broads table if ever I’ve seen one. Can y’all order me a cocktail? I’ll be there in half an hour.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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