Fug File: Well Played

Well Played: Jennifer Aniston in Valentino


This was from the Storks premiere this weekend, so the Brangelina #Braxitt (credit to Twitter at large for that one) hadn’t happened yet. But boy, that is quite a sequence of what I imagine are the two things she least likes to discuss: babies, and Brad’s marriage.

The good news is, before Jen presumably flushed her cell phone down the toilet and told her publicist to flee to Hawaii, she probably got a lot of complimentary texts for this:

Jennifer Aniston

It’s not just a pattern. It’s a FESTIVAL of pattern. It’s an eruption of lighthearted loveliness, finished with good shoes. This is the best she’s looked in a long time. And while I’m sure she and The Brange have long buried their shared past, and I am not trying to drag Jen into this any more than she already will be by dint of the Pitt-Cotillard cheating rumors, I ALSO think very few people among us — if we’re being truly honest — would ever get over the desire to look as good as possible in the face of the ex who broke their hearts. Especially if that ex is now getting trampled by the lady he broke it with, and doubly especially if you had to watch people compare your life with theirs every day since. And thus, this outfit and this level of Peak Aniston on the veritable eve of that divorce announcement is REALLY spectacular timing indeed.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Mostly Well Played: Lupita Nyong’o (et al) at The Queen of Katwe Premiere


This is Elie Saab. And it’s pretty magnificent. Is it magnificent on HER? Very, very nearly. Practically.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Emmy Awards Well Played: Viola Davis in Marchesa


This dress isn’t a world-stopper or a fire-started, but let’s be honest, here — they don’t all need to be. What it is, is fantastic on her:

68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

(With bonus points to Julius for the matching bow tie.) She looks gorgeous, comfortable, and elegant. I often say that Viola Davis is a great example of an actress who I never really worry about when it comes to the red carpet. No matter what, she is not going to show up wearing something totally terrible, and that is relaxing. I trust her implicitly, because she always looks like a beautiful adult professional and if that sounds like damning with faint praise, it isn’t. Beautiful adult professionals are in far too short a supply in the world, and I deeply appreciate them (this is the same reason I find cute men in reading glasses, like, changing your light bulbs without being asked incredibly sexy). She looks great in this, and also like a person who knew she probably wasn’t going to win, so there was no need to turn everything up to a 10 when she could show up and slay at about a 7. Conserve your energy. It’s what beautiful adult professionals do.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Emmys Well Played: Judith Light in Alexandra Vidal


Judith needed better lipstick, but I can’t suggest that in any kind of real way, because she is the boss.

Priyanka Chopra at The 68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards Arrivals in LA

I love that she’s serving some semi-contorted red-carpet posing drama. She wears it so much better than the pipsqueaks like Lea Michele. You have to earn your diva stripes in the trenches. Speaking of which: We live in a reboot culture. Fuller House is a thing that not only exists but is returning for another season. Whither a new Who’s The Boss? You KNOW Tony Danza is free. Alyssa Milano is around, Leah Remini and Halle Berry will obviously agree to reprise their roles from when they made that Living Dolls spinoff, and Katherine Helmond is still alive to play Mona. NOW IS THE TIME, AMERICA.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Emmy Awards Well Played: Minnie Driver in Versace


I have doubts about this — which we will, of course, explore — but on the whole, I think she looks pretty damn good in it.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Emmys Well Played: Tatiana Maslany in Alexander Wang


I confess, I stopped watching Orphan Black sometime during season two. I’ve heard it’s gotten very good again, but frankly, Tatiana was SO spectacular in season one alone that I’d be fine with her winning this even if every ensuing episode was just her sleeping.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Emmys Fugs and Fabs: The Stars of UnREAL


Constance Zimmer has worked a LOT, but I remember vividly seeing her early in her career on a sitcom called Good Morning Miami, and thinking to myself, “Wow, this show is the pits, but SHE is really funny.” So seeing her get a well-deserved Emmy nod kind of feels like seeing something really awesome happen to a long-ago friend you’re only in touch with on Facebook. The difference being that hopefully nobody poked her on this night. (I also watched Shiri on Roswell, where she notoriously would end all her gerunds “ink” instead of “ing” — a habit that went away on Life, Unexpected, but then came back occasionally on UnREAL. Maybe it’s character work.)

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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