Fug File: Well Played

Well Played: Tom Cruise

In which I’ve decided Tom Cruise is, with the exception of the first photo, trying to woo Jessica.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]


Well Played, Cate Blanchett in Carl Kapp

This is very elegant and restrained, with an interesting neckline, and basically how I imagine Cate Blanchett at all times:

2015 Helpmann Awards - Arrivals

Okay, in my imagination, her shoes are about 500% more intense, but other than that: totally Cate Canon. (Also, Cate Canon sounds like the name of a sexy, high-powered attorney in an LA Law reboot. She’s never been defeated in the courtroom or the bedroom.)

[Photo: Getty]


Well Played, Amy Poehler in Beckley

Let us count the ways:

"Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp" Series Premiere

  1. Appealing dress*
  2. Good shoes
  3. Dreamy companion
  4. And, best of all, her clutch is made to look exactly like the cover of her book, (which magically also coordinates). The paperback of Yes, Please comes out in September, so this is a smart bit of promotion, but it’s also so damn cute. Dammit, Poehler, you should teach a class.

*Apparently, this is actually a romper. I am not sure how I feel about that. I still really like how it looks, but I am generally anti-romper. Great. Now I’m having an existential crisis.

[Photo: Getty]


Mostly Well Played, Amy Poehler

I’m really loving Amy’s hair this color. Team Poehler is doing great eye-makeup with it, and the whole thing is just super flattering:

amy poehler inside out london

The dress itself is a little weird, like being lost in a rain forest after dark. It wouldn’t surprise me if something crawled over her shoulder and hissed at me. But she put bright shoes with it, and frankly, she so often defaults to a little black dress that her trying to work a pattern is very refreshing. So, what the hell, I’ll give this to her with a small asterisk and we’ll see soon enough what it portends.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


Mostly Well Played: Kiernan Shipka and Christina Hendricks

Well, here it is, the pairing we all would’ve loved to see on Mad Men itself.

Christina Hendricks, Kiernan Shipka

Or at least, I would have. As usual, I love Kiernan’s outfit — were I eighty on the outside as I am on the inside, I would more freely refer to it as darling — and as usual, Christina has found something that is not cut for her. That’s actually a very pretty summer maxi dress, if hardly likely to quake the earth, and so it’s a shame that there wasn’t a way to fit it to the bust and tailor the rest. I’m sure that’s a constant irritant for her. If ever an actress deserved to stomp her foot in a store and shout “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” it would be this one.

So let’s turn our fantasies to the scenes that could’ve been. This photo has an air of “Everyone assumes we know each other because we were on the same show, but we didn’t really ever work together if you stop and think about it,” because as far as I remember, there was never a Take Your Daughter To Work Day And Then Dump Her With Joan Because You Need Several More Morning Scotches Than Is Appropriate episode [note: apparently there was and I just don't have a great memory for Mad Men, so I'm amending it to Take Your Late-Teens Daughter To Work In The Final Season And THEN Dump Her With Joan So You Can Drink Etc. day]. So let’s imagine a spinoff in which Sally gets an internship at Joan’s new company and learns all about how not to tolerate sexist idiots while running the world from your very own corner office; then Sally takes over the company when Joan retires to Aruba, visiting periodically for lanai cheesecake and sass. Sold.

[Photo: Getty]


Well Played, Parker Posey

I am not kidding when I tell you that I LOVE THIS:

"Irrational Man" New York Screening

Whatever party this woman is hosting, I am DYING for an invite.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]