Fug File: Well Played

Well Played, Naomie Harris in Self Portrait


In case you are wondering if Naomie Harris is floating around, looking perfect, in the midst of a heat wave….

'The Bodyguard' Launch Night

…the answer is yes, absolutely.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Pippa Middleton in Whistles (and a giant ring)


I was going to save this until Friday and Royals Round-Up, but several people have asked (and emailed) about why we’re not discussing the recent engagement of one Ms Pippa Middleton to her boyfriend, hedge fund guru and brother of a dude on Made in Chelsea, James Matthews (whose other brother died climbing Mount Everest, which is very dramatic), and who am I to make you wait?

The white frock is very subtle, Pips:

Newly Engaged Pippa Middleton Steps Out In London

Subtle, but also cute. (You can buy Whistles at ASOS, by the way, AND I HAVE. I have a Wedding Dress — er, not a bridal gown, but a dress I wear to weddings — from them which manages to be both extremely sexy and also totally appropriate, which is nearly impossible. Anyway. Sidebar over. I like Whistles, the end.) She’s also well-accessorized:

Newly Engaged Pippa Middleton Steps Out In London

I just love that bag. J/k: Obvs, the ring is a real sparkler. (Additionally, I am amused by the fact that, per The Mirror, as soon as Pippa smiled for these pics, she got into her car to drive to work and accidentally ran over her betrothed’s motorcycle. FOCUS, PIPPA. YOU STILL NEED TO FOCUS.)

In other news, Ladbrokes (the famous British betting shop where you can bet on anything) has odds of Kate being a bridesmaid at 1/3. I suspect she will not be, because she won’t want to Overshadow the Bride on Her Big Day. But I assume Wills will perform the ceremony wearing the traditional Elvis costume. Let’s discuss!

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Loudly Played: Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley at the Ab Fab Premiere in The Blonds


It is so hard to know what to say about these two ladies, because they are at the premiere of the film that made them international treasures for playing characters who would consider these outfits relatively quiet.

"Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie" New York Premiere

That coat is the most bonkers thing I’ve seen in a while, and yes, that includes our exhaustive slideshow of everything Patsy and Edina wore on the show. Jennifer Saunders is standing there gazing at the camera as if to say, “Yes, we are both seeing this. It’s as if Helena Bonham Carter fell down a Pinterest wormhole and landed on her head somewhere on Etsy at 3 a.m.”

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie NY Premiere

It’s like Joanna is channeling Patsy underneath and Edina on the outside –  Pats would only have worn that coat if Saffron’s water broke on her a second time, and she had to pilfer from Eddy’s closet – whereas Jennifer is just hoping no one will ask her what the coat means. Because based on what I’m seeing, it’s entirely possible that thing depicts a scene from the Avatar sequel, and heaven help her if she lets slip a spoiler.

[Photos: Getty]

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Well Played, Jennifer Garner in Victoria Beckham


I have a lot of thoughts about Jennifer Garner. I miss Alias, for one thing. I have questions for her about what it was like to film Pearl Harbor. I really want to befriend her and have a lot of discussions with her about Ben and his back tattoo and their divorce and that Bill Simmons thing and, basically, “what is happening with Ben?” is a question I’d like to ask her, while we drink chardonnay in her surely fantastic kitchen before taking guac and chips out to the pool, where we gossip and watch the kids swim (I guess I have kids in this friend-fantasy. I’m sure Heather will let me borrow hers).  After a long discussion of what is happening with Ben, we could then talk about Jennifer’s new friend, Victoria Beckham, who made this dress:

GettyImages-576868794

And I would tell Jen that I think she looked super in it and I love her bracelet, and then we’d wonder why Kate Middleton hasn’t worn Posh’s clothes yet — although I would point out that she DID recently carry a Beckham tote — and then we’d just chat about Becks and how hot he is. Which is basically how I want to end every conversation I have with anyone, anyway.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Awesomely Played: J.Lo (with Lin-Manuel Miranda) in Michael Cinco on The Tonight Show


Now THIS is the kind of J.Lo drama for which I am here, and will ALWAYS be here.

A photo posted by Questlove Gomez (@questlove) on

That is OUTSTANDING (and I love the glimpse of Lin fluffing her train). She is a walking stained-glass window — or, you know, a gesturing one, as she did not and possibly could not actually move — and I like this a million times better than the usual flavor of marginally adorned netting that she so loves. She also chose her moment well, because standing in a darkened studio under carefully, precisely trained spotlights, is EXACTLY the showcase this dress needed. Someday I hope we’ll see it in a museum.

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Well Played, Blake Lively in Valentino, Carolina Herrera


All I know is, I wish I were wearing this Valentino right now:

Pregnant Blake Returns To Her Hotel In NYC

Like, on the deck of a yacht somewhere. Blake looks much better in it than I would, but I can have multiple champagne cocktails without anyone side-eyeing me — at least until I fall off the boat — so….we’ll call it even.

She popped out of the house yesterday evening in this, which is charming but potentially less successful:

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Well Played: The Men of the Star Trek Beyond Premiere


All of these men look very handsome, and they’re all extremely well-turned out — but they also all look so melancholy, and what else could they be, given Anton Yelchin’s tragic absence? He has to be at the top of their minds.

[Photos: Getty]

 

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