Fug File: Unfug It Up

Unfug or Fab: Priyanka Chopra at the Time 100 Gala


I’m on board with this in the abstract.

Priyanka Chopra

But does it seem like the devil is in the details here? The front of the blazer looks… fine? … but the cut of the sleeves, namely the one on the right, is Janky Supreme. The pants aren’t much better. They’re bunchy and creased and imprecise, like it’s the first time the designer had ever even TRIED to understand how trousers work. Priyanka Chopra’s first Time 100 Gala doesn’t seem like a place where you want a suit virgin to have a First Time.

And speaking of the devil, and details, can we talk about how bad Quantico is? The first half of the season was pretty weak — like, why didn’t they make the present-day stuff five years in the future instead of just nine months, so that they had more TIME for all these Where Are They Now scenarios to play out? Why was all the hair on that one actor’s face — including stubble — EXACTLY the same length? Why does that one character wear SO MUCH MAKEUP and HUGE FALSE EYELASHES for all her training? Why did no one have chemistry? But it got even worse at the midseason break. What school suddenly has a new class that’s ONE MONTH ahead of the new recruits (especially when Wikipedia can tell you they do classes in ten-week bursts only four times a year)? Worse, a class our idiot-heroes had never heard of, with people none of them had ever seen or spoken to before? And what show goes to that lengths of absurdity to introduce new characters, only to make those characters THE WORST and so boring and terrible? Why is Alex ACTUALLY DOING A TERRORIST’S BIDDING? What the hell is even happening on it anymore?

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug or Fab: Cassie


The thing is, I actually think this dress is gorgeous.

Cassie

I just wish it were a halter top. Somehow, on her body, the deep vee is looking a little pageant — and unfortunately, is also turning her torso into an International House of Boob Pancakes. (To be clear, that is not her body’s fault. It’s just that the steep front cut can be a tougher sell on ladies with a fuller cup size.) Throw in the somewhat messy hairstyle, and… basically, this doesn’t seem to be servicing any of the available glories to their fullest.

[Photo: Getty]

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SAG Awards Unfug It Up: Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab


I’m happy Spotlight won the SAG for Best Ensemble; it’s a strongly acted movie from top to tail, and there’s something really quiet and old-school about it — like, it didn’t need an aggressive CGI bear or any narrative gimmicks (The Big Short) or explosions or anything else; it was just tight narrative and pace and tension. And it was about newspapers, which… man, it will make you really nostalgic for the days when this kind of reporting was a lynchpin of the world.

Anyhoo, Rachel McAdams got to cuddle the SAG statue for a bit:

Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab

I love the shape of this: romantic, full, flattering, TOTALLY the kind of thing you want to wear when two of your exes are in the building. There is maybe a sliver of pizza in the building (I THINK I can see through her skirt?), and her head-styling belongs to a daytime tea party. But my real, primary beef with it is that I think black and beige are, together, about the most boring thing you could do.

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Unfug or Fab: Jennifer Connelly in Louis Vuitton


Jennifer Connelly is arguably the celeb most married to Louis Vuitton, with the possible exception of Michelle Williams. Even Alicia Vikander diverges sometimes. I think this is because Connelly — and Williams, actually — doesn’t appear in public often enough lately to NEED to diverge, and when they do, half the time it’s at LV-sponsored events. As with this one:

jennifer connelly

That’s striking and all, but I get the sense that if she wasn’t standing there with her hand clamped on her hip, it’d also be shapeless — like, she’s giving it something that it doesn’t offer without human intervention. I also don’t fancy the shoulder holes too much. What’s the point? Close those up, or cut them off and decorate the waist with that leathery detailing, and call it finished.

Also, I think she is addicted to booties.

[Photo: Getty]

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Golden Globes Unfug It Up: Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli


“No. STOP. I do not HOLA LOVERS while I am hydrating. It’s in my contract.”

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Unfug or Fab: Jessica Chastain in Carl Kapp


ALERT. A redhead has been spotted in green. Would that were enough for my stamp of approval.

Jessica Chastain national board of review 2016

That bodice, though, is pure indecision. One half wants to be Grecian and draped and romantic, and the other is like, “Nah, you go ahead, I’m going to stay here and proof the Church newsletter one more time.” If we lopped off that demi-sleeve, it might be enough. Because LOOK AT HER HEAD.

it’s stupendous

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Unfug or Fab: Helen Mirren in Alberta Ferretti


Only the skirt here is actually Alberta Ferretti:

helen mirren palm springs international film festival

And while I LOVE the color, I don’t think it’s being used to its most elegant advantage (wrinkles notwithstanding). I approve of the vixenish manicure and stunning earrings, although I’m not sure I’d have paired hot-pink lippy with a blood-red manicure. Still, she’s Helen Mirren, so she’s making that part work. The purse is too random a shade of sky blue to feel relevant here, though, and let’s be honest: the top comes off like she just bought it at Talbots and couldn’t believe her luck that it was a color match.

A crisp white button-down, Sharon Stone-style, could’ve taken this where I believe she intended to go with it. And further: Should that skirt be LONGER? Meaning, should it drag with a bit of a train, rather than just parking itself on the red carpet and tenting a little? Nip and tuck this whole thing in the comments. I think Fug Nation can fix it.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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