Fug File: Man Fugs

ESPYs Fugs and Fabs: The Dudes


I have decided not to include Drake in this slideshow because the telecast ITSELF spent what felt like 45 percent of its airtime on his comedy bits, and all of them were 75 percent too long, and that math equals NO SOUP FOR YOU, Drake. Instead, let’s all discuss why Jesse Williams dresses his delicious hotness in catastrophic hellpants.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab the Ad: Kit Harington for Jimmy Choo


Let us not pretend we are above ogling Mr. Jon Snow here.  (GQ has other shots, by the way, including one of Harington Looking Hot in Sunglasses.) I suppose I am not the target market for Expensive Men’s Kicks, but I’m not really paying attention to the shoes:

Kit-Harington-Jimmy-Choo-Ads (1)

I mean, obviously I’m distracted by that enormous and bizarre lamp and wondering why Kit Harington is hanging out in a hotel lobby in 2oo5 and how can I get back in time to talk to him about….stuff. (I’m sorry, Jimmy Choo. I just don’t know why no one said, “that insane light fixture is really drawing focus, you guys.” And to the one person who DID say that and got overruled, who is reading this now: I HAVE YOUR BACK, FRIEND.)

The cologne ad is more straight-forward:

Kit-Harington-Jimmy-Choo-Ads (2)

HANG ON TO YOUR DISEMBODIED LADY’S LEGS, YOU’RE GONNA SMELL GREAT.

[Photos: Jimmy Choo]

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Man Fug or Fab: Guess Who Edition


All righty, it’s time to play a little game I like to call, “Hey, Who Is That Dude In The Sunglasses?” It’s not a very catchy name. I have to workshop it.

Now, maybe this won’t be as hard for some of you as it was for me, but for whatever reason, even in the close-up, I didn’t get it. I will eliminate one contender by noting that I thought it was Ewan McGregor. Study up and then click through to see if you’re right, and then we can talk about his shoes.

who are you? who who who who?

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WTF: Steven Tyler


There is something hilariously right about the fact that he’s wearing this to a Stella McCartney party:

Steven-Tyler-Stella-McCartney

I feel like this is what Stella would come up with if someone asked her to costume a hip, new reboot of The Last Supper.

[Photo: Splash]

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Well Played, Jubilant, Oft-Toothless Men In Beards: The Los Angeles Kings Win The Stanley Cup


The juxtaposition of the Stanley Cup and the World Cup has been hilarious: In soccer, dudes drop to the ground writhing in agony and wailing if anyone so much as breathes on them. In hockey, they get hit in the face with sticks and pucks and bleed out all over the ice and just slap on a Band-Aid and get right back out there for their next shift. Even the hockey refs do that. They must watch soccer and be like, “Are you KIDDING? WE NEVER HAD IT SO EASY.”

All the playoffs were amazing — full of breathless hockey at its very fastest and best — but the Kings-Blackhawks series and then this Kings-Rangers series gave us twelve brilliant games, and I’m almost sad it’s over. ALMOST. Because we won. Behold inside: the beards, the bromances, the gums, Darryl Sutter’s facial expressions, the explication of my Magical Haterade and why I should get the Cup for a day, and a baby sitting in Lord Stanley’s trophy.

[Photos: Getty, me]

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Guys’ Choice Awards Pointedly Not Nakedly Played: Rihanna


KEVIN HART: RIHANNA! What are you DOING? YOU are KILLING ME.

RIHANNA: Ha ha, your clothes look like someone drove past you through a mud puddle.

KEVIN: That’s not what I MEAN, Rihanna. What do guys choose, Rihanna?

RIHANNA: Uh. Me?

KEVIN: YES. And NIPPLES. YOU AND NIPPLES. WHY DID YOU WEAR THE NAKED DRESS TO THAT OTHER THING?

RIHANNA; Well, I thought it might be creepy to wear that here, so I’m keeping it casual, yeah?  It was a fashion statement. Don’t wanna upstage the antlers.

KEVIN: It was a BUTTOCK STATEMENT. And we wanted to HEAR IT. We would have been HERE FOR YOU. We would have TAKEN DICTATION.

RIHANNA: All right, I get it, but I have a whole naked strategy and it does not involve you or tonight. Naked Dress’s time has come and gone, man.

KEVIN: Time is a flat circle, Rihanna. Time is a FLAT. CIRCLE.

RIHANNA: What does that even mean?

KEVIN: I don’t know! McConaughey said it on True Detective so it’s probably total bullshit! Maybe it means I will get a chance to come back around and TRUTHFULLY DETECT your NAKED DRESS!

RIHANNA: I’m kinda over my nipples now. NEXT.

KEVIN: Lordy. Rethink your timing next year.

RIHANNA: No thanks. I’m good. Rethink your shirt.

[Photo: Getty]

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