I am glad you are back out and about — filming a reality show, OF COURSE — and I’d like to take this moment to thank you for that whole thing you did where you claimed you were secretly married to some dude and then we all found out that you actually WERE NOT married to him and therefore your secret divorce was just a regular old break up. Which means by your standards, I’ve been secretly divorced a whole bunch of times! This is awesome, because now I feel more like Elizabeth Taylor than I did yesterday. To repay this favor, a word of wisdom: those aren’t pants. You’re welcome!