Fug File: Look Into Pants

MMVA Fug, But Also Well Played, Miley Cyrus

Let’s give credit where it is due:

[Photos: Dominic Chan/ WENN.com]

Miley looks pretty adorable here, I think: tough and sexy(ish) — she is, as we all know, only 17, so to look TOO sexy would be creepy — but also very pretty and almost polished, which is a hard line to walk. I also LOVE her new, extension-less hair. It’s so refreshing to see a celebrity who isn’t working the Barbie hair. But it was not to last, sadly. For behold what she wore for her performances:
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Fugs of a Fug Drama Queen

Or, as I like to call it, Things That Have Happened to Lindsay Since She Started Wearing A Series of Boots to Cover Her Scram Bracelet, Like We Don’t Know It’s There:

[Photo: Splash News]

A) She needed to wear a bra, while she showed off the top of her control-top pantyhose and garnered the deep concern of the cute bespectacled dude lurking behind her.

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Tales of a Teenage Drama Fug

Wow. Lilo has done the impossible:

She’s made me long for her jumpsuit.


Fug Bites

Dear Becki Newton,

You know who else doesn’t wear pants? LINDSAY LOHAN.



PS: The pilot you’re in that NBC picked for for next fall looks cute. I’m glad you’re working even if you are running about town in a long tank and a jacket.

PPS: Seriously, though, think about what I said, okay? Thanks!


Fugber Rose

Wow. So when you see that hat, you probably don’t expect to scroll down and see the rest of this outfit, by which I mean; NOTHING.

[Photo: Splash News]

What party is Reigning Fug Madness Champion Amber Rose off to in THIS outfit? The Annual Lady Gaga Pantsless Garden Party? Capezio’s Formal Belted Leotard Launch Party? Parliament Cigarette’s Forget Your Purse, Forget Your Pants Party? And WHO ELSE WAS SUCKED IN TO ATTENDING? WHERE IS KANYE IN ALL THIS MADNESS? Please let HIM be wearing pants.


A Fug Romance

It seems Lady G has dressed as the weather in New York this week:

If the weather took human form and mated with your doorman. Frankly, I feel frostbitten just looking at her. And what’s going on with her face?

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Sorry it took me so long to write to you about the GRAMMYS but I’ve been looking for my pants for like a week now and I never did find them so I’ve been walking around without them which I guess is okay now because there was this random girl at the show who looked like really really REALLY REALLY CRAZY and she definitely wasn’t wearing pants either, so now I don’t feel as embarrassed as I might have normally felt considering that I was in public wearing a dress made of fishnet and a leotard. SOME PEOPLE — Mom – seem to think I wore this outfit because I just wanted attention but you’d think she’d remember that whenever I want attention, I just take out a boa constrictor, or get married.

AND THEN when I was at the GRAMMYS people were all, OMG BRITNEY HAS BROWN HAIR AGAIN because I guess brown hair equals crazy for all y’all, but I don’t know why you’re all spazzing out because that other crazy girl with no pants was rolling around like COVERED IN FLOUR or soot or ashes or something and I think she did something to Elton John that’s not legal and everyone was all totally chill about THAT but I spend an afternoon with Miss Clairol and y’all FREAK OUT.

So, what I’m saying is: 1) I’m Britney Spears, b) I have no pants, !) it’s okay not to have any pants anymore which is good news because I lost mine 4) do cut-offs count? 5) there’s some crazy pantsless girl on the rampage all playing the piano dressed like an old timey aerobics instructor and all y’all seen to think that’s normal and f) brown hair is not bad.

I’m tired now.



PS: I am not engaged to my manageragentboyfriend, but I COULD BE if you think that might be interesting. Just drop me a note at Cheeto_LovER_4EvA_1990@gmail.com.