Fug File: Fugs

Fug the Show: Reign Recap, Season 2, Episode 6, “Three Queens”


In which Megan Follows continues to be a treasure, and the writers really let her rip in this episode (which I think was the best of the season to date). Canada, I thank you for her.

Anyway, this episode opens, AS DOES EVERY EPISODE OF REIGN, with TERRIBLE DISASTER:

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In this case — I am just going to cut to the chase — there are two actors impersonating Mary and Francis parading about the countryside extorting money from peasants and burning down their farms as punishment if they don’t kowtow. This ends badly for a NUMBER of people, including the random (to me; was this dude featured last season?) king’s guard who is running the entire scheme on the orders of Queen Elizabeth I, and who is killed when Mary stabs his horse with a hatpin and it tramples him. I did not make any of that up.

ANYWAY, before Mary murders yet another person (in fairness, this time it was completely in self-defense), she and Francis have a whole awkward chat about how disappointed he is in her Inability to Give Him an Heir, and how she knows she asked for that truth, but it’s hard to hear and she won’t pretend otherwise. You can tell their relationship is on the rocks given all the Back Turned, Head Bowed body language here. Even the Candelabra are tiny and small:

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What Francis thinks but does not say is, “well, I’m actually not THAT worried about it but I had to tell you something and I couldn’t say, ‘I’m an idiot who Lord Narcisse tricked into believing his dead father was occasionally inhabiting the body of a nursemaid in order to secure some reaaaaaallllly good blackmail material.’”

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Orange Fugs The New Black: Dascha Polanco


Dascha wore this to Disney’s Frozen On Ice.

Dascha Polanco

It looks more like Playboy’s Groundskeepers Ran Out For Ice.

[Photo: Splash]

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Royally Played, Kate Middleton in Goat (Sadly, not WITH Goat)


Last time she went to this event, she played volleyball in giant wedges. Last time she wore this designer, a little girl gave her a painting. This outing had neither wicked volleyball spikes NOR adorable artwork from talented children, but it did have new boots and lots of athletes and I like both of those things.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Well Played, Elizabeth Banks in Saint Laurent and Monique Lhuillier


In which Elizabeth Banks continues to kill it.

[Photos: Splash]

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Fugfinity: Kim Kardashian


The Hairfinity Launch Party

KIM: Hey Khloe. You look pretty…

KHLOE: Thanks.

KIM: I was going to say “pretty good,” but sure.

KHLOE: Well, I’m super depressed about Lamar still and of course Rob, so I’ve been–

KIM: Who’s Rob?

KHLOE: Our brother.

KIM: We have a brother?

KHLOE: Last time I checked.

KIM: That’s crazy. The world is changing so fast.

KHLOE: Except for your wardrobe. It’s exactly the same.

KIM: No, this is totally new, dude.

KHLOE: Maybe, but it’s also NOT, you know? Bra top, high-waisted tight skirt, big coat. Same-old, same-old.

KIM: Oh yeah? Well then what if I do THIS:

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Fugs and Fabs: The Baby2Baby Gala


Do you like patterns? What about capes? How about Goldie Hawn? Then this slideshow is for YOU, dear reader.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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