Well, here it is, AT LONG LAST, the final episode of I Wanna Marry Harry, which should have been called, Let’s Be Honest, I Am Mostly Just Bang-Starved. There are some surprises, there is some attempted treachery, there is tongue, there are tears, there is the hasty addition of a prize, and there is a robbery. Of us. By the show. It ties us to the train tracks, extorts some rent money out of us, then doesn’t cut us loose in time to avoid death by pulverization.
So, here are Sir’s final three options. The cold open gives us a lengthy set-up that essentially amounts to: Kelley is nuttier than a bag of almonds, Kimberly thinks Kelley is the loosest screw in the chair, and Karina may or may not be afraid Kelley would shank her in her sleep in order to gain a competitive advantage (although it’s worth nothing that the vibe I get is, Fauxry still would pick an expired Karina over a breathing Kelley).
There is also a new twist that nobody but Kingsley Shackledolt knows: If Sir’s Lady of Truest Like chooses him even though he has lied, they will each win $125,000. This is consolation money for when the lady goes back home, stops long enough to THINK about what she has done, and then grows terrified that she will never live it down, ever, among anyone she knows.
Aw, but isn’t impossible to say no to this puppy-dog of a face?