Fug File: Fug The Show

Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 17, “Put A Ring On It”

This episode was much better — it felt like a step back to the Scandal of yore, albeit slightly marred by the fact that it’s HARD to backtrack when just last week Huck was cutting the throat of a young woman so casually, for selfish motivations that he made sound so urgent (and yet also so appalling). Cut bait on B-Exhausting, y’all, because your characters flourish more when they’re not under that weight.

It focuses on Cyrus. If you’d wondered how things were going with his contracted concubine, the answer is: not well.


It would seem that Michael is becoming a self-sabotaging drunk. He got caught on camera getting frisky with another man at a bar, which pokes holes in the story that Cyrus and his prostitute fell in love and are deeply committed to making him the male Julia Roberts.


Michael seems somewhat apologetic, but Cy is enraged, and the two of them spit all kinds of insults at each other because Cyrus wants no part of Michael AT ALL — not in James’s sacred bed, nor his sacred closet, nor his sacred bathroom if at all possible — and Michael feels trapped and bored and unloved and REALLY freaking envious of this awesome boardroom table, which he now knows he cannot live without. Me too, Michael. Me too.

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Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie, Series Finale Recap

In which everyone gets a happy ending, and we have a brief O.C. reunion. Don’t get too excited: It is NOT Adam Brody.

Because this series finale needed some kind of dramatic narrative tension before we get to the crying and the kissing and the hugging and the dancing, when we kick off, Wade is annoyed that Lavon stole his proposal and luckily he has his strop about this whilst shirtless:


I will say that I like very much the flipped gender roles in this storyline, although I don’t really think that Wade would care about all that much about the proposal. I ALSO like that Zoe told Wade she was going to propose, and that now they’re having a conversation about when they’re doing to get married, not if. Wade wants to get on with it — and is a little shirty about the fact that they can’t  — but Zoe doesn’t want to steal Lemon’s thunder, ESPECIALLY given that she kind of ruined Lemon’s last engagement party/wedding.

Speaking of Lemon and Lavon, they and their kitchen pastry have NEVER been happier:


Lemon is, in fact, so full of light and love that she asks Zoe to be one of her bridesmaids, and Zoe accepts. Once Lemon scampers off to get dressed and Zoe leaves to “go check on the lawyer George hired to fill in for him,” Lavon tells Wade that there’s nothing preventing HIM from getting engaged too, and Wade asks him to tell Lemon that he never intended to propose, which…this seems unnecessary to me. Zoe not wanting to steal Lemon’s thunder isn’t actually related to Lavon and Lemon being engaged, because they’re not going to DE-ENGAGE, because they love each other, and making Lavon burst Lemon’s bubble Zoe and Wade can get married makes no sense. Like, that horse is out of the barn, Wade. I guess Wade wants to establish that his engagement had technical, theoretical precedence and ergo no thunder can be stolen, but that wasn’t very well expressed — and also that’s insane — so this whole bit feels a little bit petty from Wade’s POV.

The lawyer taking over George’s cases while he’s off playing Music Manager in Nashville is none other than Autumn Reeser, AKA The O.C’s Taylor Townsend, and she’s obviously the New Zoe: Read More


Fug the Show: The Royals recap, episode 3

I was misinformed (by myself): Dame Joan Collins doesn’t show up until NEXT week. While we wait, we have to deal with jokes about anal bleaching and Fashion Week as an aphrodisiac, plus a girl giving a dude a blow job WHILE SHE IS DRIVING. It’s just… if it had happened on One Tree Hill I probably would have laughed out loud while rolling my eyes, but because this show hasn’t found a beating heart that can sustain it through the raunchy parts, I just get annoyed.


Fug the Show: The Good Wife Power Suit Ranking, season 6, episode 16, “Red Meat”

THE ELECTION IS OVER, Finn appears, Diane kills, we have a West Wing cameo and related gaffe, and Lemond Bishop plummets in the standings. It’s been a lackluster season of The Good Wife, and this episode wasn’t much better, but at least it gave me Diane and Kurt and Finn whispering into Alicia’s ear. Sort of. Not enough. NEVER ENOUGH.

12. Cary and David and Missing Taye Diggs and Everyone Else At Florrick Agos Lockhart


This week David Lee ate a sandwich that didn’t agree with him, and Cary bought some end tables online that he isn’t sure he’s going to like, and then the entire office went to dinner at Ruth’s Chris and it turned into an orgy — a giant medium-rare meatfest. By which I mean: I DON’T EVEN KNOW what any of them did because the writers don’t care right now. Basically, they Googled some stuff for Diane and then moved folders around their desks. What a waste.

but there is a west wing cameo


Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, the Penultimate Episode

I am going to miss this show very much. I thought this episode was one of the best of the entire run. It was funny (I laughed out loud more than once), emotional (I am fairly sure George Tucker’s goodbye to BlueBell was really Scott Porter’s goodbye to the cast), and there was an engagement. Plus, hats and tattoos and a left-turn for the George and AB relationship that I hope sticks. Well played, you guys.

Let’s begin our goodbyes.

The episode kicks off with AB having a dream that she was visited by Cyrus Lavinius Jeremiah Jones, founder of BlueBell (and in the shape of Lavon), with A MESSAGE FROM THE BEYOND:


(When he pops out of her closet, AB goes, “GOD?” And I laughed.) He informs her that life as she knows it is about to end. FOREVER. “There will be five omens,” he proclaims. And they are:

  1. A Flood Will Smite a Foe
  2. A Former Couple Will Say, “N.O.”
  3. A Chicken Will Be Sent to Bed
  4. A City Street Will Run Blood Red
  5. Darkness Will Replace the Light.


AB tells Crickett all about this on her way to brunch, and while she thinks it’s funny, Crickett is freaked out and sort of worried that maybe they WILL all die tonight.


There is a moment in this scene where you can see AB’s bra come inching up over the back of her dress (it has a keyhole opening in the back). You know the costume department watched that and was like, “ARGH.” Chalk it up to realism, guys. (She’s also wearing really cute turquoise shoes here, FYI)

The brunch to which AB was heading is over at Lemon and Lavon’s, where everyone is celebrating dating each other’s exes and mostly getting along:


Lemon, in particular, is in fine Manic Lemon form, as she starts waxing poetic about all the many MANY many many MANY MANY social events they’re all going to enjoy together.

Then…sort of a weird thing happened in terms of continuity. It’s not a dealbreaker for this episode, obviously, but it was a bit odd. So, Wade and Zoe are at brunch with The Exes, then Brando and Joelle’s Grandma pop over to see the nursery and ask W and Z if they’re going to get married:

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Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 16, “It’s Good To Be Kink”

It’s the Lena Dunham episode, ladies and gents, and it is all about the bang — both the ones on her wig, and the sexual kind. scandal-recap-season-4-episode-16-10

Lena plays a brilliant former chemistry major turned ex-EPA employee who has decided to have kinky sex with all the Washington power players she can, and then write a tell-all. It’s like Hannah Horvath Goes To Washington, except without the science brain, and also, Hannah would maybe sleep with just one person and then overthink the rest of it. So let’s call it Bizarro Hannah Horvath Goes To Washington. And this shot of Lena in her lab goggles - from her Car Wash montage – is hilarious to me. She looks so menacing. Like she’s either cheating, or checking to see if Fred has taken a sip of his soy latte yet, because it includes a little surprise she whipped up last night. And the wig. What is there to say about Wig? It begs, “Don’t get distracted. This isn’t Lena Dunham. It’s a character.” But instead, we hear, “WIG ALERT. WE ARE AT WIGCON 1.” But it’s not even at its worst here. And look at me, giving you a cliffhanger like that. Okay. Ready to dive into the Kink Zone? Right-o: The episode opens with Abby being enraged, breaking off a piece of her mind and hurling it like a throwing star at Paul Adelstein’s neck: Read More