Of all the crossovers I’ve imagined between this show and Scandal, my most urgent and new favorite is Elsbeth Tascioni being Fitz’s Attorney General. Just IMAGINE the beautiful aneurysms she would give Cyrus. It’s my new bliss, truly.
This poor guy. He doesn’t want to move into the old Lockhart Gardner offices because he perceives it as a step backwards, but of course, he’s outvoted. Honestly, Cary, cockroaches are not acceptable business partners, and I don’t mean metaphorically. Get over it.
Second, he tries to pick up a girl at a law party, and once she finds out he’s Noted Felon Cary Agos, she balks. This leaves him with only a repellent option: a wannabe-vixen who’s turned on by his arrest, which leads to an absolutely cringeworthy exchange in which she expresses disdain for the fact that he wasn’t in prison long enough to be gang-raped, because “that would’ve been a turn-on.” I’m sure she’s meant to be a sarcastic coquette — I hope — but she comes off as a gross moron and so of course Cary gets all over that. Even when he wins, he loses: The two of them get so hammered that he’s barely upright when he gets home and finds out that Linda Lavin is giving him a spot-check, as part of her job in making sure he obeys the conditions of his bail. The girl gives Linda some lip about them doing drugs, and they had to Uber it home, meaning apparently the car took a brief detour into Indiana, which is across state lines. That whole drunken outing was his undoing. Oh, Cary. Your liver is frustrated with you.