Fug File: Fug The Show

Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, season 4, episode 2

In which everyone is REALLY REALLY orange again. Did Hart of Dixie get a special deal on bronzer this season? That said: this was a very satisfying episode on many levels. Last week, Zoe told Wade she was having his baby and he drunkenly stumbled home to Lavon and George and told them. Then he drunkenly stumbled BACK over to Zoe’s and spent the night outside her cottage, trying to get her to come out and talk to him:

Hart of Dixie Recap

She did not, because she spent the night at Lavon’s Mansion of Plentiful Breakfast Items. (George is also there. Maybe George also slept over, because everyone was drunk? Let’s not ask WHY Zoe decided to sleep over at Lavon’s instead of in her own bed, or how it was finagled that she was to sleep there without Wade — who, last we saw, was WITH Lavon — finding out. Secret text messages? Whatever. This is not important. But this is also why I once spent an hour trying to figure out the configuration of a room in The Royal We to determine where everyone was standing for one extremely minor moment that eventually got cut. I LOVE LOGISTICS. This is also why someone at a former job in my former life once rudely referred to me as “the continuity Nazi.” PERSONALLY I don’t think a careful eye on continuity in storytelling IS A BAD THING BUT ANYWAY.)

Let’s just bask in the many many many breakfast items on order at The House of Lavon:

Hart of Dixie Recap

As we discussed last week, and have done before, this is one of the many reasons that Lavon should not, in any just world, be single ever. He is: handsome, tall, charming, a former football mega-star, the mayor, owner of a glorious home, a snappy dresser, kind, a very good friend, a great cook, and unfailingly generous. (George, while also a decent dude, HAS left a woman at the altar, which might account for some of his romantic roadblocks. Bad PR.) So, anyway, Wade and Zoe of course run into each other over the Breakfast for A Thousand By Mayor Lavon Hayes, and Wade is basically a total idiot, although he’s TRYING to have the right response to the news of his forthcoming spawn. George and Lavon make all kinds of humorous faces as Wade does things like offer to teach the baby to fish and noting that although he knows nothing about babies, Zoe is a doctor and she can do all the work. “It’s like a car crash. I can’t look away,” Lavon says. Wade says he wants to get back together, and  Zoe…basically storms off again. And George and Lavon are like, “DUDE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” And Wade is like, “I know. I’m the worst.”

Hart of Dixie Recap

I do think this is slightly insane. We all know they’re getting back together. They love each other, and they’re having a baby. And they love each other. And they live in the same compound. Now, of course, it’s all about the journey and actually — SPOILER — the getting back together happens tonight, so that’s exciting and the back and forth can’t really make me that irked, not really, because at least now it’s done, and I would have complained if there HADN’T been some back and forth, so there you go. Of other import: Lavon’s monogrammed PJs have taught me that his middle initial is R. What do we think that stands for? Lavon Romeo Hayes?

While we ponder this, Lemon is over at the Rammer Jammer berating Carl Winslow to give up his source for the story that blew open the fact that her fake relationship with Hot Henry was in fact fake, but Carl Winslow would NEVER GIVE UP HIS SOURCES!

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Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 5, episode 4

A proposal! An outburst! A break-up! A snit fit! Sobbing! Another outburst! Me, losing my mind over the unconscionable rudeness of Sarah Bunting, who MUST STOP BEING INVITED TO DOWNTON MY GOD YOU GUYS CUT IT OUT. Violet, implying that perhaps Prince Kuraguin’s missing princess has taken to prostitution! Indeed, this episode had nearly everything. Let’s dig right in.

As always, we thank thee kindly for keeping season five spoilers tucked neatly under thy vest and close to thy heart until we sad Americans who don’t somehow stream it catch up.


Fug the Show: Downton Abbey recap, season 5, episode 3

You know things are bad for you when even Anna — who was raped last season, and who is currently in a huge tizzy over the fact that she thinks her husband is about to get busted for MURDER, and who is also a little bit worried that her boss/friend might be going to hell for sins of the premarital sex variety — is like, “MAN, I feel bad for THAT ONE.” OH EDITH.

Insert usual disclaimer about season five spoilers here, and we’re OFF. Apologies for how RANDOMLY the opening slide appears here — blah blah technical yada whatever.


Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, season 4, episode 2

This was an interesting episode — or, rather, the experience of watching it was interesting. There were parts of it that were legitimately quite funny, other parts were very touching, and everyone nailed it from an acting standpoint. I think the problem (if there was one) was that everyone knew we were going to end up with Zoe telling Wade that she’s pregnant with his baby at the end of it (after all, they’re in love and this is TV), but we still had to sit through half an episode of her NOT telling him, which meant everyone was yelping, JUST TELL HIM at the TV for twenty minutes. On the other hand, I know why the writers had to do it that way — Zoe had to process, etc etc etc — so although I found it frustrating, I also sympathize with why they did it that way, and it all came out right in the end.  With that said, let’s get right into it.

A) Rachel Bilson is REALLY PREGNANT already in this episode, so thank god they’re not going to be pretending she isn’t at any point. I mean, look at this:


No Out of Focus Leafy Tree can conceal that! Unlike the dresser drawer into which Zoe has just swept the 20 pregnancy tests she’s taken, to keep the truth from Lavon. I will extend to the show the suspension of disbelief that no one in BlueBell would notice Dr Zoe Hart frantically buying every EPT in town. (On the other hand, Zoe is kind of a hysterical crackpot — she truly does fit into BlueBell — so maybe they all let this pass regardless.)

Lavon drags her into the kitchen for one of our last moments with Kitchen Pastry (he’s worried that he hasn’t seen her, “even for baked goods”) and so that she and Wade can be awkward and weird with each other, and Wade can tell her that he doesn’t understand how she can go from being in love with him to having an “it’s too late” reaction when he finally returns the sentiment:



Speaking of LIES, here’s Henry, Lemon’s Hot Fake Boyfriend:

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Fug the Show: The Good Wife Power Suit Ranking, season 6, episode 12, “The Debate”

“Do you want to be a good man?” “I want to be effective.” “Does one discount the other?” “It can.”

So said Peter to Pastor Isaiah in this episode, although I wonder if that will end up applying as much to Alicia as she gets pulled into politics as it does to her husband. This hour was a tricky one because it deals with fomenting racial tensions in Chicago, in a very Ripped From The Headlines way that has been somewhat controversial. We’ll delve into THAT in a minute. But first: The Power Suit Rankings.

18. Finn

HE WAS NOT IN THIS EPISODE. On the plus side, that means he didn’t have to pop up for two seconds with very little of substance to do; on the minus side, it means HE WAS NOT IN THIS EPISODE. Can we pretend that means he spent the whole time naked, since there is no visual evidence proving otherwise? YES.

17. Kalinda


Kalinda might have been better-served by not being in this hour, either. All she does is wear what looks like an ill-fitting stretch-satin blouse from the You’re Leaving So We’re Not Investing In New Clothes For You fund, and then chase an incorrect theory about one of the Florrick Agos & Lockhart attorneys that inadvertently leads her to the right one (he didn’t DELIBERATELY tank a negotiation with his mentor David Lee; he simply was distracted because of his child’s medical drama). There are no shades of anything between her and Cary, but he did call her his girlfriend in the LAST episode, so I guess… we’re to assume she and Lara are no longer an item? And that Cary is no longer angry that she said she didn’t want to be his girlfriend? WHO KNOWS, because basically, Kalinda had to sit down for most of this episode and is just waiting for her illegal act from Cary’s trial to come back and bite her. The nibbler is about to get nibbled.

who’s next?


Fug the Show: Agent Carter recap, season 1, episode 3

The great secret of this show is that the Male Cop Necktie Game is totally on-point.