Fug File: Fug The Cover

Fug and Fab The Cover: Various Recent International Vogues

I don’t know about you, but I always find the covers of foreign fashion magazines totally fascinating. Here in the United States (probably this generalization can be extended to the UK as well), most of our fashion mags have celebrity covers, and it’s rare to see a proper model, unless she’s a modelebrity, like Giselle. And yet so many of these covers are alluring, I think, because we’re not bringing a preconceived notion to the image, the way you always do with a celeb. I understand that here in the US, celeb covers sell the way that model covers don’t, and staying in business is the name of the game. What can you do? Well, ogle these, for a start. WARNING: The final slide does contain a fully naked bare breast, in case you’re at work. Just one, though. If it matters.


Well Played The Cover: Kristen Stewart on Marie Claire, March 2014

I think this cover is pretty compelling, and not just because whatever she’s wearing seems like it might be AMAZING:

Her hair is distractingly great here — whether or not it’s technically Bombshell Bedhead Hair, I guess I shall have to read the magazine to find out.  And while this expression is one that could easily slide into Totally Stoned, I think she’s managing to stop it right at the line of Smoldering and Sultry, which is not such an easy trick. Speaking of stoned, though, I would love to know if they intentionally treated the font on “Why Women Are High On a Trippy New Drug” so that it makes me feel like I’m high every time I try to read it. I hope so, or else the answer is just, “you’re not high, but you are OLD.”  And I already knew that.

[Photo: Tesh/Marie Claire]


Well Played Cover: Rihanna on Vogue, March 2014

Who had Rihanna in the pool?

I actually think this cover is great, which means I’ve liked every single one of their covers since December, which means either I have some kind of wicked brain fog or Vogue has started picking their covers via a different means that usual. I think it helps that her face looks great here: very little makeup, simple hair, lively expression. Combined, especially with those light-wash jeans, it almost makes this look like it could have been a photoshoot (with a proper model, not a celebrity) from the mid-90s, and there’s something refreshing about that. Of course she’s wearing Marc Jacob’s Farewell to Louis Vuitton, but that seems right for this exact occasion. Keep it up, Vogue.

[Photo: Mario Testino/Vogue]


Fug the Cover: Dakota Johnson on Elle

If you want your cover to look like Hayden Panettiere in a dark wig, then just use Hayden Panettiere in a dark wig. We know she’ll do it.

[Photos: Elle]


Well Played Cover: Lupita Nyong’o on New York

If you are on the fence about Lupita Nyong’o — and if you are, where IS that fence, because the only reason I can think of for you to be on it is if it’s really comfortable and/or someplace tropical — then let me share this description of her family from the New York profile (the link also has a couple other pictures), punctuated by a reference she made herself:

When Nyong’o was less than a year old, her parents moved back to Kenya, where her father is now a senator representing Kisumu County, her mother is the managing director of the Africa Cancer Foundation, and her cousin Isis is one of Africa’s most successful women, according to Forbes (“We don’t really know what she does; she’s like the Chandler of the family”).

So they’re all smart and talented, which is cool enough, and then she drops a Friends bomb and my crush is flowering anew. And to clarify: We’re not featuring this because of our association with The Cut; we just thought it was in line with Fug Nation’s interests, and also we were mesmerized by it when we saw it at the airport.

[Photos: Erik Madigan Heck/New York magazine]


Fug the Covers: Zoe and Zooey on Lucky

Let’s start with the one I rather like:

That sweater is super cute, super cheerful, super colorful, and super springy. There is nothing particularly revolutionary nor interesting about any of the articles promised within, but at least this hint of spring doesn’t make me want to stab myself because we’re still stuck in the chilly wilds of February.

Here is the Z for whom the cover efforts were less successful:

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