Fug File: Fug The Cover

Fug and Fab the Cover: Various International Vogues

Another day, another set of international Vogue covers to eyeball.

[Covers: Vogue]


Fug the Cover: Jennifer Lopez on W Magazine

“HOLA LOVERS. Do you like my clothes? I said to them, ‘W, I need a white shirt. I need a necktie. I need to say SEXY COLONEL SANDERS. Why? Because he knows how to take care of breasts and thighs, and like his original recipe, The Lopez is forever.’”


Fug or Fab: Kate Hudson on InStyle, May 2016

I have grave doubts about what Kate’s wearing here — it is, of course, Dior — but graver doubts about the essay she penned for InStyle, which is not online at the moment. Please allow me to share some excerpts from The Desk of Kate Hudson:

“When InStyle asked me if I would be interested in penning a first-person essay for my cover story, I was incredibly excited. A bit nervous, as my personal writing style may be more suited for a publication like The Atlantic, but I have a strong feeling all the women who read InStyle will embrace the contents of this essay.”

If I may be blunt: The Atlantic, my ass.  Additionally, to believe that women who read InStyle don’t also potentially read The Atlantic is very short-sighted and condescending.

Kate then goes on to complain about the person who is writing the profile for InStyle – which, for the record, seemed to me to be perfectly in keeping with all of their profiles, and which is also considerably better written from a technical standpoint than Kate’s own essay:

“…meanwhile, the writer for InStyle who is penning the supplement accompanying my essay was asking me a few questions. I don’t mean this in anyway negative, but it was questions I get quite often, which I understand, as it seems to be what most people are interested in hearing about.”

a) This “supplement” is actually the cover story. Kate, sweetie, your essay is the supplement.

b) I find it adorable that Kate Hudson thinks The Atlantic would publish a sentence as tortured as that last one was. Let me fix that for you. How about: “I don’t mean this in a negative way, but her questions were ones I get quite often, because they concern several very popular topics.” That’s a bit flat but at least it’s not entirely garbled.

Kate then goes on to say some fairly sympathetic things about being a mother, but dude. I have some suspicions that some of the editors at InStyle may have her on the back of their dart boards right now. Which may explain some of the interior photos.


Fug or Fab the Covers: Marie Claire’s Fresh Faces Issue, May 2016

Well, not all of them are fresh, but they do at least all have faces? So the chosen theme is half-accurate.

(We covered the party feting this issue, if you want to revisit — and interestingly, in the preamble, I note that we were stockpiling magazine cover posts in the event that our Internet went kerflooey in the UK, AND IT DID. PROPHETIC.)

[Photos: Marie Claire]


Fug and Fab the Cover: Various Interational Vogues

Shall we take a twirl through recent international Vogues? (You know that’s a rhetorical question, right?)


Fug the Cover: Kerry Washington on Adweek

This one caused quite a stir. It looks like any one of a hundred people, none of whom are Kerry Washington. She was gracious about it on Instagram, noting that, yes, it was quite jarring to pick up the magazine and see an image that looks so little like what she sees in the mirror – while also encouraging people to read the article itself and trying to get across that she isn’t ungrateful for the opportunity or even opposed to the loving touch of a filter. It was a nicely worded response, if also one that felt like she was…. what Jess and I call anticipating a note. Like she’s imaging the holes people will want to poke in her response and trying to fix them preemptively. But I think she handled it very nicely, even as I imagine she may have hurled a few copies of this at the wall.

Adweek was apologetic… and then said something about how, yes, they added volume to the hair for drama, and meant no disrespect. DUDES. I don’t think the hair is the problem here. Either that’s all you did and you simply hired a photographer who doesn’t understand what light does to faces, or you turned her into Scarlett Johansson and don’t want to admit it.

[Photos: Adweek]


Fug or Fab the Cover: Kiernan Shipka, Zendaya, and Willow Smith on W

Somehow we missed this when it first dropped, but that’s okay. It just means maybe you talked about it, then forgot about it, and are ready to discover it all over again.

[Photos: W]