Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

Freaky Fug Friday WINNERS!

In case you need a refresher, this week’s winners — grabbing an autographed copy of Joanna Philbin’s Daughters Join the Party! — were asked to tell us what, exactly, La Blanchett is looking for in her purse here:

And our winners are:

Piglet the Pooh:

Benjamin Button. By now he’s a single sperm, and will easily fit into the smallest handbag.

That f*cking One Ring. It’s her birthday, and it’s Precious to her.
“OMG. I am running late for my lunch with Meryl. Where is that silly banana hair clip?”
Thanks to all who entered! Winners, please check your email!




Freaky Fug Friday: Cate Blanchett

Because she rules:

THE SITUATION:  Cate Blanchett looks for something in her purse….

THE TASK: ….what is it? YOU TELL US. Bonus points for creativity.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE:  To celebrate the paperback release of Joanna Philbin’s book The Daughters Join the Party,  we are giving away three AUTOGRAPHED copies of said book. You will love it! What is it about? Per Amazon: “Emma has never fit into the sweater-set-wearing world of her political family, opting for purple hair and Chuck Taylors to keep herself out of countless photo ops, but when she accidentally lets her father’s presidential plans slip on national television, Emma finds herself thrown into the spotlight. Facing pressure to be the perfect First Daughter-in-training, Emma must learn to speak up for herself and for what she believes in. Thankfully, she has her new friends and fellow daughters – Lizzie, Carina, and Hudson – to help her along the way.” It’s really a charming, entertaining, delightful book — you don’t have to have read the entire Daughters series to love it — and whoever wins this will enjoy it, I promise you! So get to writing!


Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

Congrats to the winners, and thanks to all who entered! A reminder, this week’s task WAS:

THE SITUATION:  Heidi Klum arriving at Cannes in quite a jumpsuit.

THE TASK:  Please pen a haiku dedicated to aforementioned jumpsuit.

And the winners are….drum roll please…..:

Piglet the Pooh:

That’s quite a jumpsuit

and it would fly if your name

was David Lee Roth.

d gable:

Heidi, methinks you

Lost your seal of approval.



Grandma’s wallpaper

Puked on Heidi. We tried, but

It wouldn’t Klum auf.

Thanks to all who entered, and winners, please check your email for details about your prize, a copy of Emily Giffin’s new book, Where We Belong!


Freaky Fug Friday: Heidi Klum

Warm up your writing fingers!

THE SITUATION:  Heidi Klum arriving at Cannes in quite a jumpsuit.

THE TASK:  Please pen a haiku dedicated to aforementioned jumpsuit.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Monday night.

THE PRIZE: We have three copies of Where We Belong,  the new book by Emily Giffin — who wrote Something Borrowed, among other things.  What’s it say on the back of the book? Check it: “Marian Caldwell is a thirty-six year old television producer, living her dream in New York City. With a fulfilling career and satisfying relationship, she has convinced everyone, including herself, that her life is just as she wants it to be. But one night, Marian answers a knock on the door . . . only to find Kirby Rose, an eighteen-year-old girl with a key to a past that Marian thought she had sealed off forever. From the moment Kirby appears on her doorstep, Marian’s perfectly constructed world—and her very identity—will be shaken to its core, resurrecting ghosts and memories of a passionate young love affair that threaten everything that has come to define her. For the precocious and determined Kirby, the encounter will spur a process of discovery that ushers her across the threshold of adulthood, forcing her to re-evaluate her family and future in a wise and bittersweet light. As the two women embark on a journey to find the one thing missing in their lives, each will come to recognize that where we belong is often where we least expect to find ourselves—a place that we may have willed ourselves to forget, but that the heart remembers forever.” Sounds good, right? I can’t wait to read it myself! (It’s my Memorial Day Weekend Reading Selection).


Freaky Fug Friday: THE WINNERS

We are pleased to announce the winners of this week’s Freaky Fug Friday, in which, if you don’t remember, I forced you to look at this:

And made you tell us what unconventional household item you would wear if you were forced to make a half-naked splash on the red carpet. Our winners, both of whom get a copy of Unbreak My Heart by Melissa Walker, are:
I’ll pull inspiration from Dobby the house-elf and wear a tea cozy as a fancy hat (I assume I’ll be attending the Kentucky Derby), and make a “dress” out of tied-together tea bags. That way, though of course I’ll have plenty of ventilation, if I start sweating, I will only smell of chamomile or peppermint.
I’d call upon my inner Claudia Kishi and fashion something out of the many, many cables in my home. TV cables. Old, forgotten VCR cables. Cell phone charger cables. Ethernet cables. Just a whole bunch of cables, wrapped around my body, as well strategically NOT wrapped in certain areas. The whole thing would then become impossibly tangled, as cables tend to do, ensuring that the whole ensemble will stay in place as I do lunges and squat-thrusts down the red carpet.



Freaky Fug Friday: Winners!

The entries for this particular FFF were AMAZING. It was incredibly tough for us to pick the top three, and I fully recommend you read all of them.

A reminder:

THE SITUATION:  I can’t improve on what our photo service said about this: “Actress and star of ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Kat Graham seen performing with her band ‘The Knocks’ at the opening of the Chilli Beans Sunglasses shop in Los Angeles.” Oh, Kat Graham. Opening a Chilli Beans. I LOVE YOU.

THE TASK:  This outfit is obviously straight out of 1991. Our giveaway is a book that involves magical shenanigans. Please share with us the magical incantation Kat Graham uses to time-travel so elegantly between Today and Back In the Day.

And, with no further ado, your top three! Each of these authors will get an ARC of Leigh Bardugo’s awesome Shadow and Bone. The one who wins your vote as best overall will also get a $100 gift certificate from Obsessive Complusive Cosmetics!

1) Rachel:

Gods of flannel, hear my plea
Power of denim grant to me
Spandex bike shorts, glitter boobs
Take me back to ’92
I’ve made the sacrifice, let me take the plunge
Send me back to the time of grunge
(incantation requires the burning of incense, a Troll and a fabric sunflower)
2) Mags:
Two Gin Blossoms, an eye of Kurt,
Pairs of shorts so tight they hurt,
Bedazzled boobs in dire straits,
A doorway to beyond awaits,
A borrowed flannel, combat boots,
Protection from all dark disputes,
Because when the beasties come out to play,
They’ll turn back screaming “Like… what a total Monet!”
3) Allie:
Hail spirits of a decade past
Entreat thee with this spell I cast…
Transport me to that dawn of days
When plaid and jorts were all the rage,
When Docs-not Crocs- adorned our feet
And bike shorts made the look complete.
In glitz and wire, my boobs encased
My shirt wrapped tightly ’round my waist
Transport me back through time and space
And leave me there on Melrose Place
And if one wish you’ll grant to me?
Give me the body of Demi
For should I land in fashion hell,
At least that way I’ll wear it well
O Kurt! Selena! JonBenet!
Princess Di and JFK!
I beg thee, when the stars align,
To my pager send the sign
For though it may well be a sin,
I long to wear these clothes again!

Which entry is your favorite?

  • Number One, by Rachel (25%, 968 Votes)
  • Number Two, by Mags (17%, 665 Votes)
  • Number Three, by Allie (58%, 2,201 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,813

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