Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

The GFY Blogiversary SPOILED and MESSY Giveway


Today is Go Fug Yourself’s 9th birthday! In internet years, I think that makes us eligible for Social Security, and it CERTAINLY gives us continued permission to shake our virtual canes at misguided young whippersnappers and yell at them to get their Bieber pants off our lawn.  It’s a big week, because tomorrow our second young adult novel, MESSY, comes out in paperback — at Amazon, at Barnes and Noble, at Indigo (if you’re Canadian, in which case: Happy Canada Day!), and at that cute local bookstore where you spend so much time. Go Fug Yourself wouldn’t be here at all without our amazing, awesome readers, and neither would either of our books (we even dedicated the first one, SPOILED, to Fug Nation).  If we could thank you by coming o each of your houses, handing you a Mai Tai, and directing The Hottie of Your Choice to give you a foot rub, we would — but until that becomes logistically possible, giving away some books will have to do.

THE TASK: This is an easy one. We’ve run so many contests asking you to write a haiku or an acrostic or an epic ballad or a rock anthem that this time, we’re giving you a break. All you need to do is tell us which celebrity you most enjoy seeing on GFY. Super famous — J. Lo! Prince Harry! — to obscure (that crackpot C list actor who lives across the street from you), it doesn’t matter. You don’t even need to tell us why; we only need the who. I will then chose the winners at random. This contest is open to all readers. I will send this prize pack to the Arctic Circle if it comes to that.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on SUNDAY, JULY 7.  (Giving you some extra time because this is a short work week in the US.)

THE PRIZE: As you may have guessed from the above, in honor of our birthday and MESSY’s paperback release, we are giving away a signed copy of each book to nine readers.

“But what are these shiny, delightful-looking books about?” I hear you asking. Behold:

SPOILED:

Sixteen-year-old Molly Dix has just discovered that her biological father is Brick Berlin, world-famous movie star and red-carpet regular. Intrigued (and a little) terrified by her Hollywood lineage, Molly moves to Los Angeles and plunges headfirst into the deep end of Beverly Hills celebrity life. Just as Molly thinks her life couldn’t get any stranger, she meets Brooke Berlin, her gorgeous, spoiled half sister, who welcomes Molly to la-la land with a smothering dose “sisterly love”…but in this town, nothing is ever what it seems. DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN! [eitorial note: perhaps that is not exactly how the copy on the back of the book actually ends.]

MESSY:

When sixteen-year-old Brooke Berlin catches a taste of fame and her movie-star father’s attention, she decides it’s time to take her career to the next level–by launching a blog that will position her as a Hollywood “It Girl” who tells it like it is. But between schoolwork, shopping, and spray-tan appointments, she hardly has the time to write it herself…
 
Enter green-haired outsider Max McCormack, an aspiring author with a terrible after-school job pushing faux meat on the macrobiotic masses. Max loathes the celebrity scene almost as much as she dislikes Brooke, but wooed by an impressive salary, Max reluctantly agrees to play Brooke’s ghost-blogger — and the site takes off. How long will their lie last? Can the girls work together to stay on top, or will the truth come out and ruin everything they’ve built? DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN! [ibid.]I am biased, but I am pretty sure that if you like reading, fake movie titles, crazy celebrity parents, blogging/bloggers/blogs, dramatic lies, cute boys, romantic shenanigans, playing Find The Harry Potter Reference, or characters named after vegetables/cheese, then I think you will enjoy our books. Good luck, and I hope you — yes, you – win. Either way, thanks for being here. We couldn’t do any of this without you.

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Freak Fug Friday: The Results


A big thanks to everyone who entered to win an autographed copy of J Courtney Sullivan’s great new book The Engagments! Behold your winners!

I THINK her tee-shirt reads, “I am a primadonna. And you?” Personally, I like to think of myself as a pre-Madonna. (I don’t even know what that means, you guys. I’m sorry.)

THE TASK:  Rewrite the slogan on her tee shirt to explain what’s happening here, please.

THE WINNERS:

ringthing:

I Don’t Carrot All!

Goldammer:

I went to the workshop “How To Photobomb Yourself Like a Pro” and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

NumberSix:

When the revolution comes, you’ll know what all the carrots were for

 

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Freaky Fug Friday: Jessie J


I don’t even know what is happening here, but I suspect I endorse it:

I THINK her tee-shirt reads, “I am a primadonna. And you?” Personally, I like to think of myself as a pre-Madonna. (I don’t even know what that means, you guys. I’m sorry.)

THE TASK:  Rewrite the slogan on her tee shirt to explain what’s happening here, please.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE: We are thrilled to be giving away 3 AUTOGRAPHED copies of J. Courtney Sullivan’s new book, The Engagements. I devoured this book over Memorial Day weekend — it would be accurate to say that I could not put it down — and I feel confident in saying that you’re going to really enjoy it. It’s basically the ideal summer read. Per Amazon:

“From the New York Times best-selling author of Commencement and Maine comes a gorgeous, sprawling novel about marriage—about those who marry in a white heat of passion, those who marry for partnership and comfort, and those who live together, love each other, and have absolutely no intention of ruining it all with a wedding.

Evelyn has been married to her husband for forty years—forty years since he slipped off her first wedding ring and put his own in its place. Delphine has seen both sides of love—the ecstatic, glorious highs of seduction, and the bitter, spiteful fury that descends when it’s over. James, a paramedic who works the night shift, knows his wife’s family thinks she could have done better; while Kate, partnered with Dan for a decade, has seen every kind of wedding—beach weddings, backyard weddings, castle weddings—and has vowed never, ever, to have one of her own.

As these lives and marriages unfold in surprising ways, we meet Frances Gerety, a young advertising copywriter in 1947. Frances is working on the De Beers campaign and she needs a signature line, so, one night before bed, she scribbles a phrase on a scrap of paper: “A Diamond Is Forever.” And that line changes everything.

A rich, layered, exhilarating novel spanning nearly a hundred years, The Engagements captures four wholly unique marriages, while tracing the story of diamonds in America, and the way—for better or for worse—these glittering stones have come to symbolize our deepest hopes for everlasting love.”

A diamond is forever, but not as forever as the JOY that comes from winning Freak Fug Friday. So get writing! Open to US and Canada only.

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Freaky Fug Friday: The Results


You guys really outdid yourselves on this one.

THE TASK:  Imagine that you wrote a movie starring this girl, who spent one crazy summer working at the Wet Seal by the Sbarro’s back in 1989. TELL US THAT MOVIE’S TITLE.

THE PRIZE:  Two copies of Joanna Philbin’s new fab book Rules of Summer.

THE WINNERS:

Sandra:

Weekend At Paula Abdul’s.

Kris

Heathers 2: Jessicas

Big thanks and applause to all who entered! Winners, please check your email!

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Freaky Fug Friday: Kym Johnson


Kym Johnson here is on Dancing With the Stars, so she’s obviously comfortable with her abs:

I fear she also just fell out of a time machine coming from that one crazy summer she spent working at the Wet Seal by the Sbarro’s back in 1989.

THE TASK:  Imagine that you wrote a movie starring this girl, who spent one crazy summer working at the Wet Seal by the Sbarro’s back in 1989. TELL US THAT MOVIE’S TITLE.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE:  Speaking of summer, we are delighted to be giving away two copies of Joanna Philbin’s new book Rules of Summer. Per Amazon: “There are two sides to every summer. When seventeen-year-old Rory McShane steps off the bus in East Hampton, it’s as if she’s entered another universe, one populated by impossibly beautiful people wearing pressed khakis and driving expensive cars. She’s signed on to be a summer errand girl for the Rules — a wealthy family with an enormous beachfront mansion. Upon arrival, she’s warned by other staff members to avoid socializing with the family, but Rory soon learns that may be easier said than done.

Stifled by her friends and her family’s country club scene, seventeen-year-old Isabel Rule, the youngest of the family, embarks on a breathless romance with a guy whom her parents would never approve of. It’s the summer for taking chances, and Isabel is bringing Rory along for the ride. But will Rory’s own summer romance jeopardize her friendship with Isabel? And, after long-hidden family secrets surface, will the Rules’ picture-perfect world ever be the same?”

Who doesn’t love a juicy summer beach book, right? Having read this one, I can tell you that it’s totally a delight — you WILL sit by the pool and devour it. We have two copies (for US and Canadian readers only), so get cracking!

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Freaky Fug Friday: The Winners!


Thanks to all who entered for being patient while we covered the Met Gala. And congrats to our winners!

A reminder:

THE TASK:  Please name (by which I mean, invent creatively!) the 70s soft-rock band which Aubrey clearly believes herself to be fronting, judging from this ensemble.

THE WINNERS:

Sarah B
Dr. Aubrey O’Day’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution

MollySC
The Farrah Fawcett Memorial Tabernacle Choir.

cath
Polly, Esther and Skye.
Several years later, she’d shorten the skirt, add some pleated drainpipes, tease up the hair, and become the lead keytarist of new wave sensation, The Permanent Press!

Stellagrace
Tab Cola and the Summer’s Eve Band

C Eller
Skeevy Knits, member of Pleatwood Smack

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