Fug File: Freaky Fug Friday

Freaky Fug Friday: Aubrey O’Day

I’m so glad that former Fug Madness Champion Aubrey O’Day has not totally faded quietly into the good night, but continues to occasionally pop up dressed like she just fell out of a wormhole from the 70s. I’m so glad that I’m going to do a giveaway!

THE TASK:  Please name (by which I mean, invent creatively!) the 70s soft-rock band which Aubrey clearly believes herself to be fronting, judging from this ensemble.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE: We are thrilled to be giving away five copies of Siege and Storm, the sequel to the best-selling Shadow and Bone, by Leigh Bardugo, along with Siege and Storm nailpolish! Per Amazon: “Hunted across the True Sea, haunted by the lives she took on the Fold, Alina must try to make a life with Mal in an unfamiliar land, all while keeping her identity as the Sun Summoner a secret. But she can’t outrun her past or her destiny for long.

The Darkling has emerged from the Shadow Fold with a terrifying new power and a dangerous plan that will test the very boundaries of the natural world. With the help of a notorious privateer, Alina returns to the country she abandoned, determined to fight the forces gathering against Ravka. But as her power grows, Alina slips deeper into the Darkling’s game of forbidden magic, and farther away from Mal. Somehow, she will have to choose between her country, her power, and the love she always thought would guide her–or risk losing everything to the oncoming storm.”

That sounds like a great read — I haven’t read it yet either, but I loved the first book and I can’t wait to read this one as well. This contest is open to US and Canadian residents. Get to writing!


Freaky Fug Friday: The Results

This week’s entries were great! Behold the winners of Bobbie Thomas’s great new book, The Power of Style:

THE TASK:  Please write The Benediction Of Johnny Depp, AKA the blessing he’s giving his fans in this picture.


Tim Burton, who art in London,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy creative visions come,
Thy directorial will be done.
In Wonderland as it is in Collinwood.
Give us this day our Scissorhands,
And lead us not into Gene Wilder’s Chocolate Factory.
But deliver us from pirate movies.
For thine is the craziness, and the eccentricity that makes an Indian wear an entire stuffed crow on his head,
And the awesomely wacky wife, forever and ever. Amen

Give me your faded, your torn,
your disheveled masses yearning to wear scarves,
The layered refuse of your laundry bin,
Send these, the shapeless, wrinkled clothes to me.

With, you know, all apologies to Emma Lazarus.
Karen G:
Blessed be the funky,
Cause these clothes be smellin’ skunky.
Blessed be the befedora’d,
And all the other hats I’ve adored.
Blessed be the torn & stained
Shirts & jeans that I have maimed.

In the name of the Moss and the Paradis
And the Wino Forever,


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of junkets, I will fear no evil: for my accessories are with me; my fedora and my necklaces and my bandanas and my glasses, they comfort me. I wear them all the days of my life.

May your fedora rise to meet you.
May the scarf be ever in your pocket.
May your chains reflect warmth upon your face
and eyeliner and man-scara fall dark around your eyes.
Until we meet again
May faux-filth keep you in the grime of its grasp.


Freaky Fug Friday: Johnny Depp

I’m so excited about this week’s giveaway. And also really excited for all of you to see what Johnny Depp is up to:

I am pretty sure he thinks he’s Indiana Jones now? At any rate, he’s clearly happy to be giving the crowd here his blessing.

THE TASK:  Please write The Benediction Of Johnny Depp, AKA the blessing he’s giving his fans in this picture.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE:  This week, we are happy to be giving away five (5) copies of the new book The Power of Style: Everything You Need to Know Before Getting Dressed Tomorrow, by TODAY show style editor Bobbie Thomas. I have read the book, and I have to say, I think it’s really great. There are A LOT of style guides out there, but this one is sincerely helpful, and it went way beyond the old “everyone needs a white shirt/take your pants to a tailor!” advice we all already know and into actually really useful information. I think you will all seriously enjoy it.

From Amazon: “Beyond understanding your best colors and figure-flattering clothes, Bobbie takes a unique step back in this inspiring guide to empower you to feel stylish, smart, sexy, and satisfied—with a look that’s uniquely your own…

You can’t live life naked, so after you brush your teeth in the morning, you put “something” on. It’s the first decision of your day, but have you ever considered that it’s also one of the most important? Style goes far beyond fashion and beauty and is a powerful way to say who we are and get what we want. Your “style speak” comes through in a louder “voice” than anything you might scream from a rooftop. But often, there is so much focus on the outside that we forget to step back and understand that style really starts inside.

From your love life to your career, and the less obvious moments in between, the way people see you will filter your opportunities. Ultimately, what they see is what you get. In part I of this must-have style guide, Bobbie Thomas will help you identify what you’d like others to see and boost your confidence, and in part II , she’ll show you how to find your best colors and cuts, edit your closet, and more, so you can build a better, more useful wardrobe.”

This contest is open to US residents only.


Freaky Fug Friday: The Results!

Big congrats to the lucky winners of Aaron Hartzler’s great new book Rapture Practice! Behold:

THE TASK:  Help. Please explain what Lilo is actually wearing here. But do it in a haiku.


C Eller:
Misheard my advice
“Get thee to a tannery”
Was not the intent

The answer is clear:
Dominatrix, Nevernude
LiLo papped at work.

Charlie Sheen’s new couch
Met a worse fate than the dress
After the clubbing

B Marie:
Years of hard living
Bring about leather-like skin
Here, literally

A tragedy strikes!
Lindsay finds snakes on a plane,
Legs chomped foot to thigh


Freaky Fug Friday: Lindsay Lohan Edition

The return of Freaky Fug Friday! And who better to usher in a new season of contests and creativity than the erstwhile star of Freaky Friday herself, Ms Lindsay Lohan (whose get-up at the Scary Movie premiere is heading your way later today):

She wore this ON AN AIRPLANE. And by “this” I mean, “I don’t actually know WHAT this is.” Is it….boots over jeans and then spats over the boots….? Is that sentence even in English? I do not know what is happening here. Please send help.

THE TASK:  Help. Please explain what Lilo is actually wearing here. But do it in a haiku.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on MONDAY.

THE PRIZE:  This week, we’re giving away five (5!) copies of the new memoir Rapture Practice, by Aaron Hartzler. Per Amazon:Aaron Hartzler grew up in a home where he was taught that at any moment Jesus might come down in the twinkling of an eye, and scoop his whole family up to Heaven. As a kid, Aaron was thrilled by the idea that each day might be his last one on planet Earth…But as he turns sixteen, Aaron finds himself more and more attached to his life on Earth, and curious about all the things his family forsakes for the Lord. He begins to realize he doesn’t want the Rapture to happen, just yet; not before he sees his first movie, stars in the school play, or has his first kiss. Before long, Aaron makes the plunge from conflicted do-gooder to full-fledged teen rebel…In this funny and heartfelt coming of age memoir, debut author Aaron Hartzler recalls his teenage journey to find the person he is without losing the family who loves him. It’s a story about losing your faith, finding your place, and learning your very own truth–which is always stranger than fiction.” I’ve read the book, and I can attest to the fact that it’s excellent — funny, engrossing, moving. A great read. Whoever wins it is in for a treat. (PS: Los Angelenos, Aaron is also going to be speaking at the Santa Monica Public Library tomorrow (Saturday) at 3pm. He’s also moderating the panel on which Heather and I are appearing at the LA Times Festival of Books on the 21st. Synchronicity!)

(This contest is open to US residents only.)


Freaky Fug Friday: Results!

Apologies for the lateness of this post! We had some technical issues this week that got our schedule all wonky. But with no further ado:

[Photo: WENN]

THE TASK: Imagine that Carly Rae is singing an Ode to Shorts now. Name that tune. (Literally: give us the title — and only the title – of a fictional song that’s an Ode to Shorts.)


Elizabeth: Chafe Me Maybe

ronwyn: This Crotch Is On Fire

Katie: Hit Me Wedgie, One More Time

Lucky winners, please check your email and get ready to cook up a storm with Casey Barber’s new book Classic Snacks Made from Scratch!