Fug File: Crotchtacular

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Emma Watson


I love you, Emma Watson, and I actually think this dress is gorgeous.

But that slit is HIGH: One overly aggressive step in the wrong direction, and we’re all gonna see your hermione. I beg you, please tread carefully.

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Blake Lively


Well, OBVIOUSLY:

 

By the way things are going, when the 2011 Met Ball rolls around, I fully expect Boobs Legsly here to show up wearing solely a bikini and a real expensive pair of shades.

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Fugs of a Teenage Drama Fug


STOP THE PRESSES! (Do people still say that? Or am I supposed to be saying, like, “STALL THE SERVERS!”?) Anyway: HOLD UP!

[Photo: Splash News]

LINDSAY LOHAN IS NOT WEARING LEGGINGS/SHORTS MADE OUT OF LEGGINGS. I repeat, Lindsay Lohan is NOT wearing leggings or booty shorts she made of leggings with the legs cut off. Instead, she is wearing a pretty cute dress that has, of course, been rendered utterly crotchtacular and kitted out with boots that are a salute to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, but STILL! Small victories? Dude, I take what I can get.

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Fugly Reckless


I clearly have to just make some kind of program that randomizes a series of my usual rants about Taylor Momsen, and save myself the work of writing these posts anymore.

[Photo: WENN.com]

The phrases to go into the randomizer would be:

  • Dude, where are her parents?
  • She’s ONLY 16!
  • That skirt is SO SHORT.’
  • Gross
  • I wish Jenny Humphrey would fall in front of something fast and deadly.
  • OMG WASH YOUR FACE ALREADY.

And then, once they were loaded, I could just hit a giant button that said, “FUG” and something appropriate would pop out. I’m getting Intern George on this immediately. What a time saver!

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Lindsay Fuglan


Oh, great.

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

I was wondering if skin-tight booty shorts were going to be the leggings of summer. WHAT A RELIEF TO KNOW THAT’S TRUE. THANK YOU LINDSAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

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Oscars Post-Party Fug Carpet: Heidi Klum


While I’m loving the CONCEPT here — the sort of sixties mini/bedhead/eyeliner idea appeals to me very much — this thing does not fit.

Seriously. Heidi Klum has an amazing figure, but this thing is… a little graphic, no? I’m sure several readers may disagree with me, but I don’t need to get this close to witnessing the juncture of La Klum’s thighs at a venue that is not sponsored by Sports Illustrated or Victoria’s Secret. Frankly, I’m going to go out on a limb and note that bare thigh junctures have no place at the Oscars whatsoever, though I’m sure Bare Thigh Junctures is an excellent niche publication. That may make me a Crotchety Old Crone, but I’m okay with that in this case.

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Fug or Fab: Kristen Stewart


Hey, for those of you who say we never publish pics of K Stew smiling, this one’s for you!

From left to right: some dude; an Olsen in disguise as Rachel Zoe; Kate Hudson using her coat as a blanket; Kristen Stewart, looking very cute indeed with a big smile, perhaps because she appears to be putting ear buds in to block out Kate Hudson’s yammering; Claire “Bored” Danes; Mia Wasikowska, who looks in that gamine crop the way I think Carey Mulligan wants to look.

Let’s take a closer look at Stewart, shall we?
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