Fug File: Crotchtacular

Fugging Up With the Kardashians


Khloe, you are BY FAR my favorite Kardashian — with the possible exception of Kanye.

But, to borrow a caps lock from your future ex-brother-in-law, THAT’S A SHIRT AND YOU KNOW IT.

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Search for the Fug Model


Nicole Trunfio here won, per Wikipedia, something called “the Australian version of the television series Search for a Supermodel” and was the second-season host of Make Me A Supermodel, which I didn’t even know HAD a second season. So I guess that she’s sort of the poor man’s poor man’s Tyra, without the catch-phrases or pun-filled YA novels:

She’s also apparently gunning to take over at least the Legsly part of the crown from Boobs Legsly. Can the boobs be far behind?

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Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Fug


So, you’re shopping for, say, a racy dress, and you want to make sure it’s not going to fall down. You wave your arms around in the air, you slouch over, you twist around, you contort, and your friend says, “Well, yeah, when you do THAT it looks weird, but you’re not GOING to do that, because you NEVER do that,” and you think, “Oh, that’s right, because I’m not Elaine from Seinfeld,” so you buy it.

[Photo: Splash News]

Unfortunately, I’m guessing Carina Lau’s friends never thought to say, “Yes, it looks weird, but you’re not GOING to balance on one leg and go full starfish with the other one while there are photographers training their lenses on your ladybeach. Right?” 
But some of the fault lies with Carina here:

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Emmy Awards Fug Party: Charlotte Ross


Dear Charlotte Ross,

Please see my advice vis a vis Ms Heidi Klum and act accordingly.

Yours cordially,
Jessica

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Stephanie Pratt


WHY IS STEPHANIE PRATT AT THE EMMYS?

In fairness, she appears to be wondering the same thing. Also, where her pants went.

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Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Heidi Klum


Dear Heidi Klum:

You’re gorgeous, and you’re in amazing shape. But you know what you’re not? Blake Lively. Put it away.

Love,
Jessica

PS: Say hi to Seal for us!

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