Fug File: Accessories to the Crime

VMAs Fug Carpet: Taylor Swift in Ashish


You know what? I have a high tolerance for Taylor, but I just can’t with this, to use MTV-appropriate vernacular:

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Those shoes are great, but she’s wearing sparkly houndstooth sweatpants that she kept pulling up all night (so as not to violate the Taylor Swift Anti-Bellybutton Guidelines) with a matching cropped top. There is no human alive who can really wear sparkly houndstooth sweatpants without looking slightly absurd, but definitely not when that human also makes the choice to go really matchy-matchy with that particular life choice. Okay, wait, that’s a lie. Gwen Stefani could wear this. But Taylor is no Gwen Stefani (although if she starts making her squad wear harajuku outfits, then we might need to revise that) — not even at the VMAs.

[Photpo: Getty]

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VMAs WTF: Miley Cyrus


Look, there are a lot of things I can appreciate about Miley. Her hosting performance last night was not one of them.  But you can’t deny that at least she picked “go big” in the age old dilemma of going big, or going home.  She looked like she was a living salute to Tara Reid in Josie and the Pussycats half the time.

[Photos: Getty]

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Teen Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Dudes


We normally close with Terry Crews — he’s always a delightfully big finish — but I can’t make you wait for this. It’s the highest he has ever jumped. It’s amazing. Also, other dudes wore things and I have an Old Person Rage Blackout, which we all know was always coming.

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Teen Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: Black and White


Loads of people went for basic black, white, or — my personal preference — the two together.  Let’s read them all over. (Now that fewer people get the newspaper, can corny Dads even tell that joke?) PS: If you’re looking for Zendaya, she got her very own post, of course.

[Photos: Getty]

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Teen Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Cast of Screen Queens


This photo of the three of them just makes me laugh. It SO looks like Rachel Berry popping up to the front of the stage to speak for everyone, whether they want her to or not.

[Photos: Getty]

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Met Gala Fugs and Fabs: The Lightbox Purge


AKA: Here’s everyone else we haven’t covered yet. It’s a grab-bag!

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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