Casual Fuggerday: Victoria Beckham


This is one of Posh’s own designs, and it is pretty much the antithesis of everything she’s worn for the entire rest of her existence on this planet. Probably including her four pregnancies.

It’s insane. It’s a quilted smock. Maybe it’s good for sweat absorbency? And listen, we sympathize: We are TIRED. We would love to be wearing a giant periwinkle cloud that hides all the sandwiches we’ve been eating at odd hours. In fact, we might want to put that on and watch football all day today and wake up tomorrow with Ruffles still on our hair. (No judgement. Just snacking.) But we would not strap on our nicest booties and wear it into our chauffeured car, or even admit that we owned it to anyone but each other and our nearest, dearest loved ones. This dress feels like the secret only the Becks boys (and Harper) know. Then again, maybe I should be applauding Victoria for having the balls to wear this hilarrible tent, and for all we know, those are not her nicest booties at all. So. Beer me.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

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Comments (38):

  1. Evalyn
    +23

    This looks like the quilted blankets you put around your antique dresser just before the movers come. Maybe she’s starting a moving business and this is by way of advetisment. Otherwise, ?

    • kittenmittens
      +17

      I was thinking it looks like the heat resistant pad that goes under the table cloth at our family dinners. Maybe she’s afraid of casseroles being shoved at her by people who think she’s too thin.

      • Maria L.
        +8

        To me, she looks like a walking Pottery Barn bedding catalogue.

        She’s wearing the bed quilt AND the bed skirt. Clever Posh.

    • Robin
      +8

      It also resembles the quilted blue waterproof “pee pads” the hospital sends you home with after having a baby, to lay under the baby’s bottom while changing diapers. Not exactly a typical source for high-fashion inspiration.

  2. Rachael
    +3

    Is it me, or is the gentleman in the teal (?) shorts the background actually grimacing at this hilarious mess? I applaud Posh for gamely wearing her own mistake. She’s soldiering on, all “see, I told you it would work!” (It does work…to make her look her like she’s trying to hide being knocked up.)

  3. nmlhats
    +8

    Hey, you forgot the “WTF?” tag.

  4. Ruth
    +10

    According to the Daily Fail, this masterpiece of fuggery costs $2,379. They’ve made their own copy out of an $85 blanket.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2420412/How-Poshs-1-500-tent-dress-55-blanket–Be-honest–really-tell-difference.html

    • Mrs. Ditter
      +2

      Yeah, my first thought was, “I’ll bet that item of hideousity costs more than my best coat, much less any dress hanging in my closet.” I hope it’s as comfy as it looks.

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +9

      I think theirs is considerably more attractive.

  5. julyol1972
    +17

    I know that most folks might think I hit my head or something, but I really like this. It’s definitely different, but gives off an early-Dior vibe with the over-sized ruffle. Bless her for stepping outside her personal aesthetic, which has been like a security blanket, for years. At least we can see that there’s one dress in her collection, that women of every size can wear.

    She’s been getting major flack for her “blanket, with arm-holes and trim”. So The Daily Mail had on of their journalist do just that – recreate it! Poor VB! She’s still my girl though!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2420412/How-Poshs-1-500-tent-dress-55-blanket–Be-honest–really-tell-difference.html

    •  breathesgelatin
      +5

      I really like it too! Agree re: early Dior. I actually think it’s massively chic and I would totally wear it.

      • Sandra
        +21

        Bless her for stepping outside her personal aesthetic, which has been like a security blanket, for years.

        But why is she WEARING her new security blanket?

    • Robin
      +19

      I am of a much larger size than Posh, and would never wear something like this. Big baggy buffoonery is not flattering to plus-size women, so I’d have to disagree that this is egalitarian fashion for the plus-size masses.

      • kittenmittens
        +6

        It’s not exactly flattering on her. I think it would look equally bad on Melissa McCarthy or Christina Hendrix. It’s bad for every shape and size, how garments can you say that about.

      • Eirwen
        0

        Totally agree. Loose clothing is not our friend!

    • Izalika
      +8

      I would wear the hell out of this dress, and I wouldn’t even be remotely sorry.

    • lilacsigil
      +1

      That’s really not how sizing up works.

  6. jjdaddyo
    +5

    What. The. HELL.

  7. Maddy
    +17

    I don’t know why but I kind of think she’s pulling this off

    • deee
      +3

      I perplexedly agree. She may actually be veering into the Swinton genre of fuggery.

  8. Nick
    +3
  9.  HelenBackAgain
    +9

    I wouldn’t even wear this in the house, it would make me feel so ugly.

    And that’s coming from someone who hangs around watching TV in an ancient Jockey fleece jogging suit that’s pilling all over the place, collects cat hair like that is its purpose in life, and makes weird bumps on my tummy when the jacket’s zipped. I don’t wear it around other people, but it doesn’t make me feel ugly if I’m by myself.

    This would. However, it might be rather good on Edna Turnblad.

  10. Molly
    +2

    H.I.D.E.O.U.S.

  11. bookworm1973
    +5

    I think maybe an empire waist rather than a drop waist would work better, but in any case, there is too much fabric here. The texture says “blanket,” the volume says “parachute,” the kid in me says “look before you leap, with a blanket-chute.”

  12.  Julia
    +1

    I totally don’t get it, but I swear that she said on Twitter that this is her favorite piece in the collection. I about died when I read that.

  13.  Julia
    +1
  14. Lucy Spartalis
    +2

    I kinda love it. The colour is gorgeous, it’s a fun shape and it would feel fun and lighthearted being in it. I’m by no means an avant garde dresser, but I think it’s awesome.

  15. Lily1214
    +3

    No, no, no. The shoes, yes.

  16. deee
    +4

    A kid version would be super cute on Harper.

  17. anne p.
    +2

    I’d like to think this is another squib of evidence that VB has a sense of humor, but . . . .

  18. Ann
    0

    I think she’s personally trying to break out of the severe librarian look she’s been working.

  19. B Hobbit Andersen
    0

    I enjoy this. The color is serene and the shape is diverting…in a good way. I only wonder about the drape…it seems as if it might not swing well given the quilting. I’d love to see it in motion.

  20. Daryl Singer Edelstein
    +2

    looks a lot like she used the padding thats put in elevators when someone is moving ..

  21. sacchrainkiss
    +1

    I’m still trying to process that VB designed this herself, and is now wearing it. I am just having a really hard time wrapping my brain around it, it seems like something one might wear after losing a bet, or on a dare (Not even a regular dare, a Double-Dog Dare)

  22. d.j.
    +1

    awful and overrated just like her!