Casual Fuggerday: Rihanna


Let’s check in on Rihanna’s performing exploits.

This is apparently fresh off the menswear runway. And it is… crazy. I can’t fathom a dude wanting to look like a billboard for something the FDA has probably banned because of strange additives that are only legal in Asia — much less in something that so easily passes as a dress on Rihanna. That she almost makes sense of it is a marvel. Don’t get me wrong, I still find it hideous, but I understand it a lot more on her than, say, Justin Bieber. Then again, when did I ever speak Bieberish? I wonder if that’s a working barcode on her thigh. If we scan her, what will it say? I’m thinking of every immature calculator message I ever tapped out when I was in fourth grade.

Oh, and in case you wondered…

… the VMAs didn’t kill the art of public crotch massage. Between that and the stockings and the weirdo coat, she looks like Denise Huxtable if A Different World were about her becoming a masturbating hobo.

[Photo: WENN]

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Comments (15):

  1. Katy B
    +3

    Bahahahaha I would watch the hell out of that Different World episode, have no doubt!

  2. kittenmittens
    +32

    It kind of looks like she has prosthetic legs in the first picture.

    • LJ
      +7

      Totally thought she’d gone the prosthetic legs look.

      • Tamarin
        +2

        I actually thought she had on knee-length opaque hose that were a different color than her skin…it was a really weird optical illusion >_<

    •  Sue
      +1

      Totally agree, that’s what I thought when I first saw it.

  3. Alicia
    +10

    Whitley would NOT approve.

  4.  Gypsy Danger
    +3

    Hmmm, I was going to say that this is a restrained look for her, then I saw that this concert was in Singapore, so that made sense, then I saw the second picture and now I don’t know what to say.

    A friend of mine is a folk music singer songwriter and about a couple years ago he was invited to play a show in Singapore. The officials wanted to screen his music first as they did not want any swearing or political ideas in the songs.

    I guess public crotch massage is okay though?

  5.  HelenBackAgain
    +8

    Apart from the baffling fishnet – what, bike shorts? – I kinda like the weird T-shirt as dress.

    Would like to un-see that second pic, however.

  6. remi
    0

    I hope that chronologically these pictures are in reverse order, else she would have first put on a coat (a vest? a very long blazer?) and then made an attempt at exposing her crotch. Which actually sounds like a possible scenario.

  7. MollySC
    +5

    I straight CACKLED at that last sentence.

  8. suzanne
    +1

    Wait….maybe those legs really are prostheses. I was convinced and I heard they’re in for Spring.

  9. ceecee
    +1

    That second picture is less erotic and more “I have to pee”.

  10. Joemama
    +2

    What the holy hell is going on here? Jeez. For some reason I’m getting an Elton John vibe from the last picture. Maybe because of the stupid glasses, blunt bangs and wackadoo clothes? Oh, excuse me, an ‘Elton John has to PEE vibe’ from the last picture…I hope I never have to type that sentence again in my life…

    • Janice
      +1

      But I’m glad you did.

      Are those sheer leggings — sheggings? — a hip inversion of old lady knee highs?

      Or are they just Spanx?