Casual Fuggerday: Beth Ostrosky Stern and Malin Akerman


This got lost in the Emmy shuffle, but I’m bring it back for obvious reasons. And while it wasn’t for a “casual” event, per se, it is definitely… not formal.

Well, but perhaps I shouldn’t say that. Those are dressy-ish trousers, and that’s probably a VERY expensive table-runner she’s using as a tourniquet.

Also suffering from my lightbox purge is Trophy Wife star Malin Akerman:

That’s not an outfit; that’s a mauling.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (27):

  1. LoriK
    +16

    Beth Ostrosky Stern looks like she’s wearing a baby sling without the baby.

  2.  HelenBackAgain
    +4

    They’re both trying so hard, I want to say something nice, but. Um.

    Well, their heads look good!

  3. Esme
    +5

    Malin looks silly, but at least she isn’t trying to wear something 20 years too young for her like Beth. She looks ludicrous!

  4.  Erin
    +3

    Don’t judge me, but I think Beth looks adorable…(side-eying myself over here).

    When I was younger (MUCH younger than Beth), I spent a lot of time which a much crappier body, but wearing the same kind of general insanity…skirts as tube dresses…sarongs as weird dresses/shirts. I kind of miss it. And if I still looked (or ever looked) as good as Beth, I’d bust that shiz back out.

    I also like her pants despite the fact that they are insanely long. Because I am on the cups of tall (5’7”), I can never seem to find pants that are long enough. So when I do find pants that are long enough or come in talls, I buy them. Even if they are too tall. Because the regulars are never tall enough. Many a pant hem in my closet has suffered in the heel/asphalt wars. Don’t care.

    Malin looks terrible. The hair. The neckline. The pants that look like they are in a too-close relationship with her hoo-ha. Nope.

    •  Erin
      +1

      with* not “which”

      And I want to add it’s “America’s Got Talent”. It’s a young crowd.

      •  eellee
        +1

        cusp* not “cups”

      • Caro
        +4

        I don’t care if the group is 1000 kindergarten kids, that get-up is an insane choice for any audience. With all the money she has and with her model build, she can wear anything. It boggles the mind why she would think this was flattering or any way age-appropriate.

    • Jodi
      +8

      Yeah, I’m tall, too. And I’ve spend my life wearing pants that are too short, so I buy them extra long. And I hemmed them. And if I was strutting the red carpet, I’d find a professional to hem them.

      •  HelenBackAgain
        +4

        I’m 5’2″, so even now that there are lots of petites options, I often wind up with pants that need to be hemmed. It’s really not a big deal to do. Five minutes at the tailor, easy as can be. I can also do it myself in a pinch, though I’m not a very good seamstress and prefer the finish a professional can give it.

        I can’t fathom why anyone wouldn’t do it… Maybe sometimes there isn’t time to get a tailor, before a red-carpet appearance, but I really think in that case I would just wear something else.

        • Esme
          +2

          I’m also 5’2″, but I have long legs, so although I must wear petite pants, they’re often too short! I’m always taking the hem out to make them longer. But I do actually use a needle and thread–and if you can’t sew, as you said, it’s 5 minutes’ work for a tailor. Even someone at the local dry cleaner can do a decent job.

  5. kittenmittens
    +4

    Is that thing Ostrosky is wearing a top you can buy? It really does look like she just tied a table runner around herself. Maybe the shirt she was wearing got torn and she grabbed a table runner.

  6. Kary McGonigal Barrie
    +9

    Beth is like 6 feet tall. Lots of leg. And those look like pumps. WHO ARE THOSE PANTS MADE FOR?!?!

  7. Annie E
    +16

    Whenever people where nonsense like that table runner I just want to say to them, “We will still know you’re thin if you wear a real shirt.”

  8. Chris P
    +5

    1) What is that top

    Seriously, I for the life of me can’t figure out what the hell is going on or why one would do that to themselves.

    2) But enough about Malin Akerman (who looks like she’s wearing the workout version of Celine Dion’s infamous backwards tuxedo), WE NEED TO DISCUSS BETH OSTROSKY STERN. I’m actually not opposed to that thing on principle (it is…insane, but yet so insane it might actually work, BUT NOT WITH THOSE PANTS. That’s what chicks wear to work when it’s not Casual Friday, yet they need to appear to give half a damn.

    Since no one has suggested it yet, pencil skirt with a pattern. Or slim-cut pants (again, with a pattern).

  9. jean
    +3

    In the first picture I sort of like the top for the origami-like nature of it. And all of her bits are hidden. Seriously, imagine it on an Asian model with better bottom half–maybe a skirt? Tight, fitted pants? I don’t know, but I like it. I think she’s wearing it well except for the pants. It’s like she didn’t know what to pair it with. Black jeans would have been better. Or a long, fitted skirt? I think it could work.

  10. simply_readd
    +7

    These would appear to be the flip side finalists of a dinner party fashion challenge: Complete a red carpet off-the-shoulder look using table linens … Sadly, in the end, no winner was named.

  11. Laura
    +3

    Malin Akerman stars in “Polterwang: the return”.

    • Jenz
      +1

      My thoughts exactly! First glance looks like she’s packing ala Jon Hamm under there!

  12. Jenz
    0

    Those pants are about five inches too long for poor Beth. Forget everything else, how can she walk in those with THOSE heels?

  13. witjunkie
    +10

    I think that top is so cool though. All my Barbies had tops like that, and they looked fabulous, but I paired them with fabric wrapped around the legs secured with a beaded hair tie, and I think that would work better here, too.

  14. Ambrosia
    +1

    The word you are looking for is “cusp.”

  15. chello
    +6

    it looks like one of those Pinterest posts on how to make a fabulous cocktail dress out of your boyfriend’s shirt! And even better, it’s NO SEW!!!

  16. Elle
    +1

    Her smile seems to say “I know I look stupid-deal with it suckers.”

  17. RichardO
    0

    Everybody tries to be Cher. Beth, you’re no Cher, cover up honey, you have nothing anyone wants to see. .

    http://www.bethfanpage.blogspot.com/2013/09/cigarette-girl.html