Cannes Clothed Carpet: Erin Wasson

GLORY BE, she has been introduced to actual fabric:

For any GFY newcomers, Wasson here mostly flew under the radar until she revealed herself as the opposite of a Never Nude — so, you know, a Nearly Nude — at the Golden Globes. It was terrifying. In that sense, then, the fact that her dress is a mullet feels like some sort of victory — I mean, there is more fabric from knee to ankle on the back of that gown than there was on her ENTIRE BODY at the Globes. So while I wish this were cocktail-length — and if it were, might actually like it unreservedly — I cannot help but applaud her for keeping her privates private. It’s like we’re all growing together. Sniffle.

She even did it again later:

This thing needed to be yanked up three inches. I’m actually wondering whether her nipples are the only thing holding it aloft. And that’s ruining what might otherwise be a very lovely gown. Check it out up close:

See? That’s actually very pretty and intricate, and in person I bet the effect was quite stunning, assuming people were able to look at her without getting stress cramps in their retinas. I mean, her nipples were practically the only part of her body that we DIDN’T see in that Globes “dress,” so it stands to reason she might decide to wear its photonegative someday and surprise us all with a flash. Here’s hoping reason prevails.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (30):

  1. Trace

    Loved your photo negative reference in the Chris Colfer montage. It doesn’t work quite as well here, plus that’s twice in one day.

    • Eliza Bennett

      Seriously? You try being funny about this much sartorial crazy for days on end without repeating yourself.

      • Jessica

        We actually wrote that piece over a week ago; the photo negative blurb was mine. Heather probably forgot I even said it.

  2. Kendra

    I feel weird about congratulating someone for not being naked.

  3. kb

    I actually like the first dress a lot — even if it is a mullet dress. I think the 2nd dress is pretty, but might weigh more than she does.

    • Kara

      Ditto! I love the print of the first one. I don’t like mullet dresses in general, but I like that one. And the second one is gorgeous.

  4. vandalfan

    That first one has a red sequined diagram of either her uterus, a bowling pin, or “any other part belonging to a man”, as Juliet said with a wink and a nudge.

    • megs283

      I see all that, OR a giant sparkly owl (with nipple eyes).

    • Jen

      Ha! Love the Shakespeare reference on GFY. Took me a minute to figure out who “Juliet” was :)

  5. Stefanie

    If that first dress was the business length all around I would really like it! Both of these are so much more flattering and (dare I say, even if they aren’t perfect) much sexier than the almost nearly nude from the Globes. See people! More is sometimes MORE.

  6. Cortney

    Her expression in the second dress is what sells me on any of it; in the first dress, as in the Globes photo, her expression is very aggressive to me. Like she’d like to punch me in the face.

  7. mary lou bethune

    Who is she? Scary, mean face, like Trump’s wife… I suspect there isn’t alot behind the face- except self regard…. ( wow, I am mean too).

    • Cranky Old Batt

      I don’t know who she is either but I sort of love the second gown but the mullet gown looks like it is having an outbreak of something. Which actually goes with her pretentious scowl.

      • yeahandalso

        she is a model, she is/was the face of Maybelline for like the last decade. Seriously flip through any Cosmo or Vouge from the past 10 years and I guarantee you you’ll find a Maybelline ad with Erin.

  8. gail

    At least she still has the boobs god gave her. She gets points in my book for that.

  9. Helen

    Each of these does have some Issues. The mullet, obviously. The second look, equally obvious. But make those two little changes, shorten the one, and hike up the other (and maybe make it a little snugger so it stays there), and I would quite love both dresses. I can’t believe this is the same girl who took the black-lace-on-nude trend so literally. What an improvement!

  10. Edith

    Thank goodness you posted the second photo; with just the first, I suspected she thought the dress was actually only the red parts, and was furious with her stylist when she found out she had to wear the white fabric, too. It would explain her expression, too.

    The second is lovely, however I just finished commenting on Berenice Bejo’s outfit that two or three inches is waaaay too long a distance to need to yank something up, and here we are again. I suspect the substantial weight of the strapless dress makes it really hard to keep up; why don’t designers ever think of these things?

  11. Amy D

    I don’t think we should really gloss over the fact that the last dress is just a sequined version of upholstery meant for retirement home patio furniture. Just because she has clothed herself doesn’t necessarily mean she gets a get-out-of-jail-free card. Not to mention the hair, but, THE HAIR. Someone needs a trim and a conditioning treatment.

  12. Amanda

    She needs a new make-up artist. She always looks consumptive.

  13. anny

    1. The first dress is looking at me. And it’s angry.
    2. Is she getting paid by the sequin?

  14. Mahastee

    Honestly, people say Ginnifer Goodwin has bitch-face, have they SEEN this Wasson person?

  15. AM

    The first dress I would really like if we could pick a length and she wasn’t making such a mean face.

  16. Hannakin

    She seems to me the sort of person, much like Kesha or ol’ Drunkface McCord, who just manages to lower the tone of whatever they’re wearing so completely that it’s hard to judge objectively on its own merits. She just looks somehow filthy and unkempt, and it’s really distracting me from what might be legitimately pretty gowns on their own (albeit with mentioned adjustments).

  17. Lina

    omg this person is even less relevant than Phoebe Freaking Price. *disbelieves that she even exists*

  18. yeahandalso

    This is sort of confusing because isn’t Cannes typically the sort of venue where models show up 3/4th naked? It’s like a tradition. Globes parties = cocktail dresses, Cannes = near nudity

  19. Nora

    “I’m actually wondering whether her nipples are the only thing holding it aloft.”

    That made me laugh so hard, I think I woke the neighbors. “a giant sparkly owl (with nipple eyes)” was pretty great, too. Well done, ladies!

    PS: In the second pic, she looks reminds me of Diane Kruger.