Nicki Minaj. Katy Perry. Jessie J. Scores of people overshadowing her, criticism over her new single, and the fact that her people ALLEGEDLY put a stop to a Weird Al parody f one of her songs. What’s a poor, beleaguered, mid-backlash Gaga to do?

It should be no surprise to you that the answer is, “Dress like a novelty condom.” And it should be even LESS surprise to you that the OTHER answer is extremely not-safe-for-work.

This screams, “ME! REMEMBER ME? I AM STILL HERE! MEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

But, see those three letters over her shoulder? The ones that are part of the phrase, “Born This Way”? Well, they also begin another word: BORING. Bejeweled crosses with racy attire? Honey, you’re already being accused of aping “Express Yourself,” so you might want to tone down the echoes of Madonna a little.

Also, I think Taylor Swift would prefer it if you didn’t put her signature hand-heart gesture quite so close to your nipple squares. Can you maybe come up with something else? I mean, my middle finger alone is twitching with ideas…

[Photo: Splash News]