Born Fug Way


Oh, Lady BlahBlah. When you used Diet Coke cans as curlers, I laughed and thought, “There is a kindred spirit.” When you wore a meat dress, I thought, “I may never eat steak again.” But I did. So we got through it. But this:

I don’t care that you’ve given yourself lace bangs, or that you have pearls glued to your nails. And I also don’t care that, for once, I can’t see the intricacies of your pelvis. Any credit you might’ve gotten for that is GONE, because you went a step too far this time.

My Little Pony heads? YOU JUST DECAPITATED MY CHILDHOOD, FUG MONSTER. I have notes.

ONE, the back of your hair should have a clarinet poking out of it, because it’s due to play in the Mos Eisley cantina in ten minutes. TWO, you are wearing a jacket with your own screaming face on it, in which you are also inhaling your own hair, which suggests to me the symbolism that you will choke on your own self-obsession. And THREE, that face? THAT IS HOW MY SOUL FEELS ABOUT YOUR NECKLACE. First muppet coats, now this? You are like Sid from Toy Story. How do you know the toys don’t see everything, Gaga? HOW DO YOU KNOW?

[Photos: Flynet]

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Comments (54):

  1. The Other Molly
    0

    I live for the day when people quit buying into the antics of this attention whore.

  2. Jennifer
    0

    The hair on her head looks like it’s the same texture and consistency as the decapitated ponies. Do you think she’s been harvesting My Little Ponies to make her wigs?

  3. aa
    0

    yes! lady blahblah is my favorite nickname for her.

  4. Leah
    0

    The face on the jacket looks nothing like her. RuPaul, maybe.

  5. Arianna
    0

    “ONE, the back of your hair should have a clarinet poking out of it, because it’s due to play in the Mos Eisley cantina in ten minutes.”

    Almost fell off my chair laughing.

  6. Roy
    0

    Wretched hive of scum and villainy, indeed.

  7. Geemee
    0

    Man, those nails are a weapon. If she forgets and swipes at her eye, she’ll blind herself.

    The pony necklace is SO wrong, and it makes me sad. But it *is* nice to see her in (for her) casual shoes. She can actually walk in those without help.

  8. PinkieBling
    0

    The line “…you will choke on your own self obsession” just about killed me. So true!!

  9. luminum
    0

    But don’t you see? Her HAIR is an expression of HERSELF and she needs to be as FREE as her HAIR. Hair IS freedom.

    Whatever, you just don’t get it. She’s an artist and her vision is just way too deep for you to fathom.

  10. RosieB
    0

    Thank you, Heather, for summing up exactly how I feel about this gal. More than anything, I find her antics boring verging on somewhat annoying. I don’t find her provocative or offensive or sensational.

    Listen, Lady, quit trying to pretend you’re an alien or something…David Bowie and Klaus Nomi already did that, and with much more success. (and we all know that your ‘horn’ bit was stolen from Nomi.) Not to mention the fact that the music they made was actually fairly original and kind of revolutionary. These were genuine pop performance artists. You are just a girl with an autotuner and a dress made of steak.

    I look forward to the day when you’re even more of a moot point than you currently are.

    /rant over /steps off of soapbox

  11. Gigi
    0

    At this point she just needs to walk around in a banana clip and yoga pants and an old “Chuy’s Surf Shop” t-shirt before anyone will call her edgy and radical. And they will.

    I kind of like her pink hair, though. It’s a pretty color.

  12. Leigh
    0

    I feel like she tries too hard. Look Lady G, if you want to be off the beaten path and an individual fine. I fully support you. However, when you have to put more effort into being “different” and “yourself” than the typical woman does to look just like everyone else, I begin to wonder. How much of this is who you really are, and how much of this is who you think we want you to be?

  13. Erika
    0

    Oh, YES! She IS Sid. What exactly did the ponies do? Is this some sort of statement? That she won’t conform to childhood normalcy? That ponies are a burden, hanging around her neck? Why the ponies? WHY?

  14. LadidaFab
    0

    Beheaded ponies… lovely…

  15. Minutiae
    0

    *sigh* I just don’t have the energy for her anymore.

  16. Sherri
    0

    There’s a sort of cutesy “Godfather” vibe in that necklace. It does not bode well.

  17. Logan
    0

    Make her go away, PLEASSSEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Rayna
    0

    I too like the pink hair, and I like the quasi normal SHOES, in place of hooves, and I REALLY like that she’s wearing clothing that looks mostly respectable or “safe for work.” Now THAT’S different and refreshing.

    But a necklace of My Little Pony heads? Really, Stef, there are some things you just don’t do.

  19. snuffy
    0

    (please, please let’s all stop talking about this creature. it’s the only reason she exists. we all have the power to wish her away.)

  20. shebrihart
    0

    Those poor Ponies. What did they ever do to her?!?!?!?

  21. vandalfan
    0

    Well, THAT is certainly not the droid I was looking for. But I’m afraid her Jedi mind tricks do not work on me.

  22. Cecily
    0

    *yawn*

  23. fez
    0

    She was guest editor for today’s Metro newspaper.. see? And the necklace was a gift from a fan.

  24. CJ
    0

    Heinous. She can call it performance art or redefining beauty, but this is just a very ugly, tacky, tired gimmick that I wish she would just GIVE UP. And, can you imagine how long it took her to look this way!

    Miss Stefani: take note of Madonna at the Met gala. Everyone was shocked, utterly shocked, jaws hanging on the floor when she looked pretty and groomed and dressed appropriately. Unless you are going through some magic spell like in the movie Groundhog Day and in your universe every day is Halloween, just face it: you can’t keep this up. And no one wants you to.

  25. Billie
    0

    I always hated those stupid ponies, so I’m totally on board with the pony head necklace. Sue me. Really though, her antics don’t particularly interest me anymore, if they ever really did. I’m a Madonna veteran; the Queen did it first, and she did it better.

  26. Jamee
    0

    I don’t even get why they bother posting about her anymore. Whatever she’s wearing WILL ALWAYS BE FUGLY. They should wait until she actually wears something good (never), then at least it won’t be the same old. I’m so sick and bored to death of her sh-t. It’s just so…repetitive.

  27. Holly
    0

    She’s got an OK magazine waiting for her in the seat-back pocket. That’s not the reading material of someone who’s ambivalent about how the people feel about her…

  28. Ali
    0

    If I would have only seen the picture of Gaga from the back I would have bet money that it was Patsy from AbFab!

  29. StankHo
    0

    What a piece of sh*t! B*tch, take YOUR own toys and lop their heads off, not My Little Ponies! Stupid waste of oxygen she is! Oh wait, are those the ugly G3.5 bloaty-head ponies? Ah well, that’s ok then, they are a tragedy, just like BlahBlah.

  30. joseFINE
    0

    Lady Gaga was the editor of Metro today, and the necklace was a gift from the guy who won the assistant competition. IT WAS A DUDE!!!!! OFF WITH HIS HEAD! DUDETTES, CMON NOW!

  31. minette
    0

    well, i have a necklace with barbie hands that have little gem flowers in them – in the colors of the chakras – so i can’t say anything about the li’l pony heads. the hands were salvaged from otherwise disabled barbies from thrift stores, btw. and the necklace is freakin’ cool! if you’re into reiki and all.

    anyway… i am so bored with this woman’s sartorial shenanigans! she’s bored me pretty much from the start, though, so it’s not like i went through a “wow! look at what’s she’s wearing this time!” phase.

    she always tries too hard. it’s like she doesn’t think she’s pretty or talented enough, so she overdoes everything. so maybe we won’t notice?

  32. Anne B
    0

    The full circle’s come and gone. I’ve done disinterest, dislike, mild interest, amusement, fondness, love, and irritation, and now I’m tapping my fingernails on the table, waiting for the inevitable to happen.

    The part where Stephanie (however she spells her name, whatever she calls herself now) realizes that the show is over, and it’s time to hibernate: that’s the inevitable.

    I’m in my 40′s. I wear a watch. You can’t outrun (outstagger?) things like this, young lady. Everything in life has an arc, no matter how many Little Monsters you throw at it.

    Remember the old Andy Warhol line about fame and 15 minutes? Did he have any advice for the audience about patience and pain relief?

  33. Anne B
    0

    BTW, @vandalfan gets her usual +100 Internet points for the Star Wars/ESB line. :)

  34. Ann
    0

    She always looks like she’s decided to get dressed from her seemingly never ending junk drawer. Either that or it looks like she’s picked up something from the floor…she’s always crumpled looking. I wonder if it’s possible for her wear something clean, pressed and unmodified.

  35. Elise
    0

    so many haters, with so much time

  36. Sajorina
    0

    EW!!!

  37. Lina
    0

    Yawn. How is she not over yet?

  38. Emma
    0

    I’m so sick of Lady Gaga being all over every newspaper I ever read. SHE IS NOT INTERESTING!

    That said, I trust GFY will continue to expose her for the nylon-haired headline-grabbing fraudster that she is.

  39. Alyssa
    0

    Has anyone noticed that the hair piece in back is like a totally separate growth – a second head? Look at the first picture with the lace bangs and then notice how distant the hive of blond troll-hair is in the background – whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?? I don’t get it.

  40. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    This is rather subtle don’t you think?

  41. Jare
    0

    I never commented on anything before (mostly because I’m not a native speaker of English, and I’m afraid I will get called out on grammatical mistakes and such – and also because so many others seemed to have said it in the comments already far more eloquently)
    BUT
    I have to share this. I’m from the Netherlands, and take the train to work every day. Usually there are some free newspapers laying around – ours is called ‘Metro’. Well, yesterday the guest-editor of our Dutch Metro was… Lady Gaga. She was on the cover, and news about her (including articles gushing about her GREAT fashion sense and interviews in which the interviewer admits how intelligent, wise and good he thinks she is) filled at least the 10 first pages of the ‘news’paper. Quite frustrating, actually, for people looking for news.
    ANYWAY – The My Little Pony Necklace: I’m afraid I now might have the back story on that. One amazingly lucky Dutch guy (I believe he was called Jeroen) was made Gaga’s little helper during her editorial stint. He was so grateful he brought her a gift he made himself: a My Little Pony necklace. She thanked him and put it on right away. The article mentioned tears of joy on his side – and how, right when Gaga exited the building, paparazzi took her picture – with his necklace on. So I have to say she didn’t think of this one herself, and might actually have worn it as we would wear a quite horrible necklace given to us by a really cute 5-year old (if you know what I mean). Although I’m sure that, had she thought of it herself, she would have made a whole outfit of those decapitated ponies.
    Thanks for sharing…

  42. Andriana
    0

    don’t care about her. Crazy woman. Too much is already too much. It’s nothing you can do anymore to get my interest.
    When a lot of people in the world would use a bit more food or just normal clothes ( yes, clothes ar in first place to cover and protect yourself ), this lunatic spends billions on cut pony heads and wigs and rubber and whatever her bored mind thinks of.
    You are futile. Now go.

  43. teal
    0

    She should be wearing the pony bodies as shoes. Girlfriend does not deserve Louboutins.

  44. Vickyb
    0

    Ugh. She thinks she’s so highbrow and arty, and living on the edge with her My Little Pony dolls, but she’s not too proud to schill her new music on *FARMVILLE* (please don’t hate, it’s an addiction!). I wouldn’t care if Beyonce or Britney did it as they recognise ‘branding’ as part of the music industry but the way Gaga goes on about being so artistic and horns growing when she’s happy and her pee is made of unicorn lemonade… it’s just a sign of how desperate she is now the attention is running out.

  45. Ruthella
    0

    I saw her perform on Sunday, wherein she emerged from a coffin, with a fake pregnancy bump wrapped in PVC, and wearing a bandana on her head (the bandana just tipped it over the edge for me, personally). I thought in real life she might prove to be an amazing spectacle, but truth be told, she just looked stupid.

  46. Stop the guillotine!
    0

    First and foremost: IMO everyone’s entitled to their own opinion about the *aesthetics* of that necklace, BUT here’s an extra *fact* that proved relevant to my personal evaluation of the fact that she’s wearing it: it was a gift from a fan! (as reported in the Metro newspapers about her visit).

  47. pinkcheese
    0

    Ruthella, I read a piece in the Guardian about that concert, and the author had an interesting theory. Apparently Gaga ripped the fake bump off after one song and tossed it away while saying something I don’t remember? Anyway, they wondered if it was a commentary on the “Bump fetish” that seems to have taken over. IDK, they may have just been reading their own agenda into her performance, but I thought it was an interesting theory, at least.

  48. kate
    0

    okay luminum, there is a difference between being all artisty/different and straight out creepy. which is what lady blah blah is. creepy.

  49. Elin
    0

    Remember how loads of bloggers went on a Britney and Paris hiatus when they were at their most crazy? Let’s do that again with CaCa. She’s very provocative by being so boring/uninteresting/over-exposed. Give me two CaCa-free months and I might shiver and delight at her fug again. Even though I’ve never been delighted at her before.

  50. snacks_r_awesome
    0

    the mos eisley burn is the best i’ve heard in years, so good

  51. Ruthella
    0

    pinkcheese, she did do that and I didn’t catch what she said either! To be honest, I had my little boy with me and I was more concerned with what might be about to burst out of it. He was fine with the coffin but I was afraid for some kid of ‘Alien’ style birth scene!
    I found the whole thing too much, but she has got an AMAZING voice and she puts her all into it, I will give her that :)

  52. Lindy
    0

    As far as I’m concerned, she went too far with her new video where she has a menage a trois with Jesus and Judas. Blasphemy isn’t fun.

  53. anonymous
    0

    there is a hidden meaning in the pony necklace; all the decapitated ponies are from the previous generation of the MLP franchise, the intact center pony(whose profession is fashion) is from the newest generation of the show.

  54. fancy fembot
    0

    Mos Eisley cantina! Man I love this blog. You always throw in well placed, on point sci-fi jokes.