Bjorkly Played: Bjork


I am just delighted any time we get to visit with Bjork and she’s not just a floating intergalactic head, passing judgement on the foolish celebrities lucky enough to find themselves sorted into Fug Madness bracket that bears her name:

I’m especially delighted that we’ve got BUSINESS BJORK, because I didn’t know such a thing existed and I like imagining what it would be like if, for example, this version of Bjork were your defense attorney or your patent lawyer or your CFO. Things would be more confusing, and you’d probably regret it, but before you all got hauled off to jail, it would be magical.

[Photo: Splash]

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Comments (48):

  1.  ChiTownSteph
    +17

    For some reason I feel like she needs wackier sunglasses.

  2. swellcatt
    +7

    She is so kooky! I love the outfit sans tights and shoes. You work, Bjork!

    •  bambi_beth
      +19

      I also came to say I think I love this dress with different styling. Business dressing by Hi-Liter. And also with Bjork-styling, on Bjork.

      And that her sunglasses ARE strangely common. I have nothing new to say, apparently, but it’s nice to see Bjork out!

      • Joanie
        +6

        Strangely Common Sunnies…my new (15th) band name.

        I find the handbag a bit common as well.

        And we won’t even talk about my old nurse shoes growing platforms (see Ruth below)

  3. Ruth
    +26

    Nursing platform shoes, for the fashion conscious RN.

    • Nan
      +23

      I love how the shoes are scuffed and beat up, as if she wears them ALL THE TIME. (the fugmadness Bjork head makes me laugh every. single. time. she really is magical)

      • Jeanolee
        +4

        I know! How in the world did she find enough occasions to wear those shoes so that they look like my little sister ‘s scuffed up baby shoes? I remember this because it was one of my chores to polish them.

    • Early Ashley
      +2

      Platform nurses shoes! I am so glad mine is not the only mind that saw this.
      And cringed.

  4. Ann
    +1

    I totally hate this. Everything about it.

  5.  Mrs. Helpful
    +22

    I love her. She is a genius and a true artist. I also love the way she talks.

    I thought of nurse’s shoes too — the head nurse on intergalactic planet neon disco in the once and future 60s.

    And not for nothing — I think the test of time has been kind to that swan dress after all. Girl is a visionary!

    •  martinipie
      +4

      I feel the same about the swan dress! Especially compared to Gaga’s antics etc.

    •  lacondesainvierno
      0

      Did you ever see Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens? I imagine these are the shoes worn by the nurses who treat the Space Vixens when they need assistance for injuries sustained bringing in the intergalactic bad guys or spraining their ankles in Glitter Boot take downs.

      Jessica, you and Heather, should totally also do a FUG Review of the Musical. It would be EPIC.

  6.  Anna
    +6

    This reminds me of when Duchess Kate said that Wills called her a banana–and Bjork was like, “Whoo, girl! I’ll show you a banana!”

  7. The Rizz
    +34

    Seeing as I’m a patent attorney, I feel obligated to show up in a similar outfit tomorrow to give my clients a sense of peace.

    •  Mair Mair
      +4

      I’d hire you in a heartbeat. If, you know, I had a patent.

    • Narshkite
      +7

      As a former IP attorney I can safely say that the men I worked with (all my colleagues were men) in their rugby shirts and Dockers would not have noticed if I did wear this.

    • Joanie
      +1

      I want photographic evidence of said outfit at work, Rizz!

  8.  Mina
    +24

    This looks like something the Queen would wear in like a parallel universe. I think the Queen should wear this for Halloween.

  9. Julia
    +10

    Those tights… THOSE TIGHTS.

    I need those tights to wear under my tea length moss green skirt.

    Whacky tights in plus sizes need to be more widely available for thoseof us who mostly live in jeans and long-sleeved shirts because of our jobs and want to be nonboring when we get out in public.

    On the other hand, the monotone chartreuse is a bit much.

  10.  Linda_AZ
    +1

    How fun! I think I’d actually wear those shoes.

    •  RachelB
      +1

      I think I *have* worn those shoes.

      (Not exactly. But close enough.)

  11.  PinzNneedlz
    +30

    Chartreuse chanteuse

    •  Wildviolette
      +2

      You really are just the greatest for this!

    • gigi
      0

      you guys KNOW that went thru her head!! and she probably scribbled down some lyrics for later… just you wait

  12. lynn
    +1

    It does appear that she matched her shoes to her purse, and that they match the swirly bits in her outfit. Clearly some attention was paid :-)

  13.  martinipie
    +28

    I think she looks like the world’s most awesome tennis ball.

  14. A Lynn
    +11

    First thing I thought was “tennis ball.”

    You know how at the US Open, a decent minority of spectators actually show up in tennis wear, as if Rafa/Roger/Serena might ask them to join in for a game or two? Why aren’t those spectators wearing THIS instead?

  15. Christy
    +2

    I love her but this is Scrolldown Fug for me. LOVING IT from the waist up.
    It would be even more amazing if the guy in the windbreaker behind her was an official Bjork B-Boy escort and he would just throw down some cardboard and do a little top-rocking while she kept clutching her purse and tapping those white shoes.

  16.  HelenBackAgain
    +4

    So I watched the animated episode of Hot in Cleveland last night (it was delightful BTW), and maybe that helped me to this realization: Bjork’s entire LIFE, to her, is a CARTOON. That’s why she dresses the way she does! She’s reflecting her reality. This could be an adult character in The Powerpuff Girls!

  17. Remi
    +6

    I think Bussiness Bjork could land a stint on The Good Wife, where her special attorney power (they all have something special on there, I was tempted to call it her Power of Attorney but that would be confusing) is to dazzle both judge and jury with neon colors.

  18. Rachael
    +25

    I really want to know what Bjork carries in her bag. Is it normal bag stuff, like credit cards and a checkbook and chapstick and three lipsticks and hand sanitizer? Or is it completely weird stuff, like a magic 8 ball, a figurine of the empire state building, a rubber ducky, some loose floss, 2 pounds of glitter, and a whole box of cookies?

    •  Jules
      +4

      I’m hoping it’s the latter, personally!

    • Early Ashley
      +3

      This could be a Fug contest. Guess (make-up) the contents of her purse and she/he who gets the most votes wins.

    • Joanie
      +4

      Kind of like Lisa’s purse on Mad About You? (the ep when Lisa and Jamie accidentally swap purses…and is it bad I remember that ep so clearly?)

  19. TonyG
    +5

    She looks years younger than she usually does (caveat: sunglasses that big can hide a lot) but sill, she’s rocking a youthfulness here.

    • TonyG
      +5

      Amended: Except for the shoes. Those are some 1950′s lunch lady shoes.

      •  Mrs. Helpful
        +4

        I am transfixed by those shoes. I can’t stop looking at them — they are so many different things, one of which is – clearly – her * favorite* shoes.

  20.  lettucecup
    +4

    She is a nurse at the glow-in-the-dark bowling alley. What?

  21. Ali
    +1

    I feel like she’s dressed like a giant tennis ball. Anyone else?

  22. JenLWB
    +2

    So she really does live in a tennis ball then? It explains so much.