Baroquely Played, Katie Price


Because I figured you wanted to know what she was up to. The answer is: WTF?!?!? I have NO IDEA.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (36):

  1. Orange Clouds
    +14

    NO ONE should look THAT burnt! I gasped.

  2. Pegmn
    +15

    How much do I loathe light pink and/or light frosted lipstick with a tan? AUGHHHHH!

  3. qwertygirl
    +10

    GOD I love this woman. Days when she launches a product or promotes something just make me happy. She’s oranger than the Miss USA contestants. They’re probably a horribly jealous, both of her color and of this dress (“Why didn’t I wear this for the evening gown competition?” they are no doubt wailing, “I’d have taken the title FOR SURE.”)

    • Other Emily
      0

      Yeah, this whole slideshow is a treasure. I have no idea what’s going on in it, and I love every single slide.

  4. Karen
    +12

    I suspect her shoes aren’t historically accurate.

    • Chris P
      +9

      Hand to God, I thought this was Nicki Minaj at first.

      I am not even joking. My first thought was, “This is insane even for Nicki.” AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS JORDAN.

      (Newsflash to Katie Price: If people are confusing you for Nicki Minaj, you MIGHT want to lay off the fake tanner for a little bit..)

      • Chris P
        +1

        Whoops. I did NOT mean for this to end up here – it was supposed to be a standalone!

        (My actual comment response will be after this.)

    • Chris P
      0
  5. KMG
    +1

    What? I don’t even…that is a serious tan. S

  6. Carol
    +4

    She is clearly kissing a frog and turning him into a prince … then they can both strip down to speedos and bikinis and get those tans even darker and more repellent.

    She looks like a bad Disneyworld character … shudder.

  7. Katty McNiley Ripley
    +4

    WORDS!! I have none to say, yet I have too many on my mind!

  8. MelissaW
    +1

    I hope that tan is mostly fake because if not…that has to feel like shoe leather. (And is she preggers? Because the waistline on that monstrosity is lending a full-belly effect)

    • ¬†trixila
      +9

      yep, she is expecting. there was a kerfluffle b/c she was restricted from a tanning salon once they discovered this. She was outraged and indignant, naturally.

  9. Kate B
    +6

    My favorite part of this wormhole on Amazon (trying to determine what book has made her a best-selling author) is that this woman has “written” TWO SERIES of children’s books: Mermaids and Pirates and Perfect Ponies. I feel like no Fug National’s child’s nursery is complete without them, right?

  10. Rachel
    +1

    Her face in the last picture is classic…

  11. aeb
    +2

    she IS preggers.

    and is making headlines for not being able to “use a sunbed” when pregnant (she was told by a tanning salon she was not welcome)

    “Look how brown I am,” she added. “I’ve have just been on holiday. Is the sun bad for you?”

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/22954298.

  12. Jenny
    +2

    Whenever I see a picture of her I think of old shoe leather…..I can’t imagine why…..

  13. Mel
    +40

    Good Lord. She looks like Marie Antoinette and Mother Goose’s deep-fried love child.

  14. Katie Lynn
    +2

    I kind of skimmed the intro bit and went straight into the slideshow. Thinking this was Katy Perry because again, not really reading. You can imagine my surprise.

  15. TonyG
    +2

    Okay, this is horrendous, but the wig is simply and intentionally hilarious! Which makes me think about Nicki Minaj who would have snatched that sucker from Katie’s head in a hot second.

  16. Dee Cee
    +2

    Kissing her captive frog masked prince.. she leaves nothing to chance.. she scoped him out before offering the mask to pose.. after all that struggle fighting through the mucky swamps to find him living in his swamp shack..

  17. witjunkie
    +3

    OK -that is not what I needed to see right before going to bed. Eesh.

  18. Anne
    +11

    And yet — not the worst thing Katie Price has ever worn. Not by a long shot.

  19. M.
    +3

    actually, that would be rococo, not baroque :)

  20. bernie
    0

    laugh all you like but the joke is on us. she’s smarter than you think.

    • Sandra
      +6

      Nobody’s questioning her intelligence. Just her taste.

      Now me, I read romance novels all time and that kind of make-believe escapism is fine for grown-ups. What really hacks me is the mass-marketing of all this schlock to little girls. Slay your own damn dragons, kiddies. You’re perfectly capable. And a real-life hero will like you even better because you own your power. If he doesn’t, he’s obviously not really a hero.

  21. Mouse
    +5

    This makes me think of Bridget’s mum in Bridget Jones’ Diary: “Up close, he was almost purple”

  22. Roosje
    0

    Fug girls I miss the tanorexia posts of yore. Jordan’s appearance here would have fitted right in.

  23. Deborah
    +4

    Orange you glad there is still that shade of frosted pink lipstick in the world? I yam.

  24. loonytick
    +4

    Oh, my. That’s so much tan that I thought the first photo was of a woman in blackface.

  25. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    You MUST watch Snog Marry Avoid. Girls like this are on every ep!

  26. shori zand
    0

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