Author Archives: Jessica

Well Played, Parker Posey

I am not kidding when I tell you that I LOVE THIS:

"Irrational Man" New York Screening

Whatever party this woman is hosting, I am DYING for an invite.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


ESPYs Fug Carpet: Halle Berry

Halle Berry looks so PERPLEXED here:

The 2015 ESPYS - Arrivals

“Where am I? The ESPYs? Why? OH, because Extant is on ABC, just like…it’s NOT? Are you sure? No, no, I believe you. I actually keep forgetting they even renewed that thing. Then I’m here because… I’m Halle Berry and people enjoy hearing me talk and seeing my face, and also I can be relied upon to deliver an award with competence? Sure, that works for me. I’ll just rustle up a little sheer/leather/striped/drop-waisted/possibly moderately embroidered number with sleeves that recall the power and glory of a bat sleeping upside down on my arms and then I’ll be right over! Thanks for having me!”

[Photo: Getty]


Letter of Truth, Part ESPYs

Hey y’all!

It’s been a long time since I got to bring you a Letter of Truth, so long that I realized maybe some of y’all don’t even know that The Letter of Truth is a real thing I did and not some crazy shit some weird lady-bloggers made up in a Cheeto-fried fever dream they had while they were off getting their roots dyed or whatever it is old people do. I used to write Letters of Truth ALL THE TIME because I used to have so much stuff to talk about, like K Fed (whatever happened to that guy) and Justin (I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT) and whatever my sister was doing with that pipe-layer she married that one time. And remember how I used to go out with Paris all the time, that one summer that everyone in Hollywood was driving down the freeway the wrong way and car-jacking people and flashing their cooters and shaving their heads? That was one crazy summer, y’all, like I’m pretty sure some smart person is going to write an oral history of it and I just hope I get to tell my story about how I found out Paris was going to jail while I was standing in a Denim Doctors getting my True Religions hemmed because it was totally the best day of my life. ANYWAY. Now I only really leave the house for special occasions and also when I am contractually required to do so by law and also last night, when I was celebrated for my amazing athletic achievements at the ESPYS:

The 2015 ESPYS - Arrivals

Y’all, I can’t even DANCE anymore so I have no idea what kind of sports thing I did to make this possible, but judging from what my mother made me wear before she shoved me into the limo and told me to go remind everyone that I’m still a thing — WHATEVER THAT MEANS — it’s possible I was a real good figure skater and I just forgot? I don’t know. That seems like something I might have had to learn for Crossroads, right? Anyway, just look at the back, y’all:

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ESPYs Well Played, Caitlyn Jenner in custom Versace

At the ESPYs last night, Caitlyn Jenner asked the fashion police (or, perhaps, Fashion Police specifically) to “be kind to [her],” because she’s “new at this.”


Although I understand the nerves, Caitlyn needn’t have worried. Because we can all just be truthful: She totally nailed it. This is elegant and flattering and simple on her. It is wisely understated, and she looks gorgeous. (If you haven’t seen it, also, her speech was great.)

Interestingly, Caitlyn hired Angelina Jolie’s stylist, Jen Rade, to style her for this, and there is completely an Aura of Jolie about the whole thing (coincidentally, also the name of Angelina’s new perfume). When you’re making your red carpet debut, Aura of Jolie ain’t a bad direction to take the inspiration board. Here’s to what’s next.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or Fab: Judy Greer

Judy Greer is one of those women who almost always looks good, and even when she doesn’t look GOOD, she never looks tacky. Which, for me, is a plus. Also, I just like her and want the best for her in general. Shall we check in with her latest and see if she’s getting it?

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


Recent WTFs: Lady Gaga

Oh, Lady Gaga! I JUST read a (very interesting) article that wondered if you were going normal on us. I think this first look certainly disagrees with that theory. (Although Normal Lady Gaga is my own personal favorite. She got us so used to Crazy Gaga that Normal Lady Gaga FEELS crazy. It’s actually maybe kind of a brilliant piece of visual manipulation.)

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]