Author Archives: Jessica

Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Eighteen, Part I


The penultimate day! Tomorrow (today? Yesterday? I don’t even know what my name is right now) these two will make a couple more final appearances and then climb on the plane and head back to London where surely many a nap will be taken and many a yoga pant will be worn in secret. But today was very jam-packed: they planted trees with extremely cute twins, and gamboled in pods of some sort of playground ilk; then went to a reception, where they listened to/gave a speech respectively (the content of which, I believe, was basically, “thanks for having us! You are all DELIGHTFUL and our baby is awesome. See you soon!”) and pressed the flesh. Later tonight, they’re going to a party of some sort, so hold your breath for shit to get glamorous up in here — that event will get its own post, very possibly tomorrow morning, in part because it’s possible I might fall asleep before it happens, but also because…well, gowns.

Outfits? I can tell you: Kate wore a Catherine Walker coatdress, her second Catherine Walker of the tour, and Twitter reported that she told someone it was sweltering — I can believe it. I presume it’s in green for Australia, and mostly I keep thinking that I wish the person who helps her figure out what to wear and why would have a blog to explain to all of us, later, what the inspiration was behind each look,  because they’re thoughtful and I’m nosy. I like it very well, but, you guys, these shoes shall be the death of me. They must be extremely comfortable.  (I did, parenthetically, read that sometimes people get Botox in the balls of their feet to make wearing heels less painful and I swear if I were her I would do it. Botox in my pits to prevent sweat, Botox in my feet so I could stand. Just pump me full of botulism toxin, y’all.)

As for William, he actually changed when Kate did not. I know, right?

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Mostly Well Played, Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield


“I’m going to set Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield,” I told Heather. “AKA, the celebrity Will and Kate.” Which I meant only in the sense that they’re very cute together and also that Fug Nation really enjoys them as a pair and likes talking about them. But then I saw that they’re PLANTING TREES on a school visit, and the analogy became yet more apt. ANYWAY. News you can use: her dress is very cute, but her shoes are terrible even for grubby outdoors-y chores (wear Converse like your boyfriend, Emma!) and Andrew has shaved his head. DISCUSS.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Sixteen


And we’ve got Kate in McQueen again. (Interestingly, this sort of reminds me of the Emilia Wickstead dress she wore, ages ago, that she revived this week in teal.)  This is not the first time she’s worn McQueen in this pale pink shade; you may remember her pink McQueen coat from The Queen’s Birthday in 2013, when Harry tried to high-five her. On Twitter, Fug National Lesliepedia noted that the cut of the vee on this bodice was  similar to that on her McQueen wedding dress, and I like that idea; it’s nice to see her in a different neckline than the usual. (PS: their wedding anniversary is Tuesday and we will be bringing you a wedding retrospective so you can ease your way out of daily royals shenanigans with maximum gown-age.)

Parenthetically, I know there is a faction of people who love these Sledge shoes on her, but I have to say that while I actually really like the shape of them — in a deeply classic, agonizingly appropriate kind of way — I also think they are a ZzzzzZZZZzzzzzz in this color. I don’t expect her to Go Cray and wear, like, polka dotted heels (although that would be cute), but the color of this dress is delicate enough that she could do something Never Nude. Even the charcoal gray ones she wore with the uplinked Wickstead! Free yourself from the tyranny of the nude shoe, Kate!

At any rate, this day looked fun: they hung out with kids and watched skateboarders and got to DJ and unveiled a plaza named after George, then flew home to hang out with Cheeksy McSqueezeable himself. (William must have a ton of streets and plazas named after himself. I hope sometimes he can name drop them: “Drive allllll the way down to where the road dead-ends in ME STREET and then hang a left. Don’t be late, Kate’s bringing a souffle.”)

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fabs and Fines: Kate Upton, Leslie Mann, and Cameron Diaz at the The Other Women Premiere


The truth of the matter is, the three of them kind of turned it out last night.

[Photo: Getty Images]

react:

Fug the Show: Hart of Dixie recap, season 3, episode 18


There are only three more episodes to go after this and I getting worried that we’re going to end this season on an unsatisfying note, especially as the show has not yet been renewed. I mean, nothing’s more unsatisfying than the end of Models, Inc., which left one character held hostage in a Mexican brothel and another plummeting off a balcony, but still. This week’s episode managed to be charming and entertaining, and yet also several of its characters made decisions that I think are wrong-headed and found frustrating. That’s BlueBell!

Topline info:

  • No one cares about the Magnolia plot, am I right? I’m right. Ergo, I’m just going to tell you that she’s off to ANOTHER boarding school, which Brick has promised to visit regularly to keep her on the straight and narrow. Just send her to Switzerland, you guys! Swiss boarding school! It’s a classic for a reason! Three years from now (if the show is magically still on the air, which would be nice for everyone), she can come back as a totally different person. Literally. You can recast her.
  • Barry Watson and AB are mad crazy in lust for each other and bravo for them. Mayor Gainey uses this info to make Lavon CRAAAAAAZY with jealousy and torpedo his attempt to get the County Fair held in BlueBell. Lavon gets drunk, gets jealous, and tells AB that Barry Watson is just toying with her as a way to f with BlueBell. Which was inappropriate and AB is right to be infuriated with Lavon — not least because I am pretty sure Barry Watson is not a master manipulator con artist — but while AB doesn’t owe Lavon anything, it would have been mature and advisable of her to give him the heads up that she’s now dating the nephew of his biggest enemy so he doesn’t find out from said enemy. Just as a kindness to someone she presumably once loved.
  • AB’s absent from Lemon and Zoe’s lives because she’s banging Barry Watson all hours of the night and day — good for her! — and so they are forced to turn to one another for advice on all things romantic, despite their mutual antipathy.
  • Zoe is AN IDIOT and goes on a date with a jackass. That’s not why she’s an idiot — if going on a first date with a jackass makes you an idiot, we are all idiots — but GOING ON A DATE WITH A DUDE THREE WEEKS AFTER A MASSIVE HEARTBREAK IS A BAD IDEA. That’s the time when you get crazy drunk and make out with strangers and come up with an unflattering nickname for your ex (I called one of mine “RatFace” for a time; very mature), not go on real dates.  Then she decides to sell the house she just remodeled. Well, great. So glad that literally 100% of Zoe’s plot for this season has turned out to have zero lasting meaning.
  • Hot hot Robert Buckley is BACK and he’s HOT and Lemon doesn’t nail him because he’s a Travelling Man who can’t settle down in BlueBell — due to being a news producer — and she’s looking for something serious. Let me just say, with the wisdom of my accumulated years: when hot hot Robert Buckley pops into town and is all hot, NAIL HIM. GOD.
  • I’m pretty sure George is falling back in love with Lemon.
  • Vivian is the worst, and Wade deserves better. Not least because she wore an ABSURD outfit that was barely on screen, so I couldn’t get a snap of it. It was skintight pink jeans and ANOTHER MIDRIFF-BARING TOP. Ugh, Vivian. You can go now.
react:

Well Played: Kate, Wills, and George’s Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Day Fifteen


Fifteen days down, four days to go! Today, Wills and Kate left the baby at home and went to Uluru/Ayers Rock, which is apparently very warm and also extremely beautiful. It’s a UNESCO World heritage site, I learned today, and there are water holes and cave paintings and all matter of interestingness; it’s also sacred to the Aboriginal people in the area, and I am SURE there are Fug Nationals who can speak to all of this with much greater authority than I can, as you guys have awesomely done throughout this trip (including this weekend’s discussion of koala chlamydia, which is a sincerely amazing indie band name).  Diana and Charles made much the same visit, back in the day, and I decided that William’s All Khaki outfit is a shout-out to his Pa’s ensemble when they visited (although as our friend Abby Gardner points out, it’s also much more practical in the heat and dust). I also decided that his bringing out the forearms once again is a shout-out to me.

Kate started off Roksanda Ilincic again –it’s similar to this one she wore in 2012, but this version is custom, I believe (the belting sort of reminds me of Diana’s dress that I linked to above a very wee tiny bit as well). This is not my favorite of her wardrobe so far, I must admit; I like that the color is sophisticated but it might also be a little drab. It seems prettier to me inside than it does out in the bright sun, though. Regardless, three cheers for The Freedom of Kate’s Knees and the fact that no one made her wear pantyhose.

Then! She changed into a dress I was legit just thinking about, because I love it, this Hobbs frock from from that time ping pong was played and Harry and William levitated things. (We were just talking about William levitating things! Am I making things happen on this trip solely with the power of my mind? Have I accumulated some royals-specific version of The Secret?) William did not change, wisely, and they met school kids and saw dancing, and walked around, and tried so hard not to hold hands (and sadly succeeded. More hand-holding, always, for everyone, is my vote). Pop into the slideshow and take a look, because I really need to go to sleep now. (I’ll update this post tomorrow morning if anything thrilling occurs when I am unconscious, never fear.)

PS:  this is where they’re staying tonight, per Duchess Kate Blog, (I hope the site loads for you; it’s been down A LOT lately, presumably because we’re all eyeballing where Kate and Wills are glamping). If it doesn’t load for you, I can tell you that it looks awesome. Put it on the list, Fug Nation!

[Photos: Getty]

react: