Author Archives: Heather

Well Played, Intern George and Amal (in Giambattista Valli)


This dress is pretty, the shoes are great, the lipstick is on point (I cannot say “on fleek” — I believe it’s actually illegal for a crone such as I to use that phrase). It’s all very upstanding and upscale.

Amal Alamuddin, Intern George

But George, why the smug look? I see you, sir. I see you on that red carpet, moments away from passed apps and some free Champagne, while we’re having more dumb ad problems. And the tech people are on it, and trying really hard, and that’s great, and I’m not trying to blame anyone for this, but IF YOU WOULD JUST SHOW UP TO WORK MAYBE THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED. Just for that, I am going to eat ALL the snacks we bought you for Christmas.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug the Fromage: Grease Live on FOX


A note, before we begin:

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You surely heard that Vanessa Hudgens’ father died of cancer the night before the show. Which means during the most intense eight weeks of her professional life — rehearsals for this sucker — she was also enduring the most intense eight weeks of her personal life. That is a massive emotional blow to be dealt right before your show must go on, and she earned the hell out of my lifelong respect. Not just for keeping it together and doing her job, but for doing it beautifully. Sometimes, the only choice you’re given in life is how you deal with the the bitchy unilateral decisions it makes for you. The universe took something away from her on a night when she probably did not have the option to back out, even if she desperately wanted to, and the choice she made was to perform like he was still watching. I dearly hope he was. And that Austin Butler was there waiting for her when the cameras went off. I’m REAL invested in our girl now, Fug Nation. Former Fug Madness winner Vanessa Hudgens got my damn heartstrings.

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Also, she had a GREAT time in Rizzo’s sunglasses. AS SHE SHOULD. Rizzo is the Anna Wintour of Rydell. She is to be feared, and cherished, and obeyed, but also loved and respected. IF YOU CUT HER DOES SHE NOT BLEED? Also she is resolute about her hairstyle and never far from her giant shades. Totally the same.

Okay, let’s dive in:

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What the Fug: Maria Menounos


Well, look. I derive no joy in being a hack, and we don’t usually cover the media who are themselves covering the red carpet. But one of the aforementioned things is a lie, and the other is a rule that’s about to get broken:

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Oh, Maria. Maria MeNONONONO.

(Please don’t tell me how many times I’ve made that joke before; it’s bad enough that I’m doing it now. I blame El Niño.)

[Photo: Getty]

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SAG Awards Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else


Cate Blanchett skipped the SAGs. Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t nominated. And without those two, somehow, it felt like there was a glaring gaping hole in the fashion.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Tina and Amy and Carol


That is a Drinks With Broads table if ever I’ve seen one. Can y’all order me a cocktail? I’ll be there in half an hour.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Demi Moore in Zac Posen


Demi Moore felt like THE most random choice to present the very last award of the night — a space usually reserved for a heavy-hitter. Like, that’s the George Clooney spot, basically.

zac posen demi moore sag awards

She wore a thirteen-year old see-through Zac Posen from her own closet — this per Posen’s Instagram; he said it’s from his second-ever collection — and it just goes to show that people were just as enamored of showing off their boring slips back in 2003 as they are now. Apparently Posen found out just from watching the show, too, which means Demi got the job presenting Best Ensemble and didn’t even call in any favors. She just reached into her closet and went, “This will work, right? Sure.” That’s refreshingly regular. But we, of course, have decided she was a late fill-in for a slot someone forgot to book. Or, say, Clooney came down with a norovirus and at 6:30 p.m. somebody was like, “God dammit, nobody will do it. Demi lives down the street. Tell her to call Uber RIGHT NOW. We’ll partially reimburse.”

[Photo: Getty]

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SAG Awards Scrolldown Fug: Sarah Paulson in Armani Prive


This appears to be a version of this dress, shown on the runway with a weird fringed-sleeve element that Sarah may have been wise to remove.

sarah paulson SAG Awards

Then again, maybe not, because now I have nowhere to look but at the bodice, and it comes off more like something a nine-year old girl would make from some kind of neon crafting kit that she bought at Target — you know the ones; they sell them for knitting, bead bracelets, some kind of loom, and all of them have a kid on the front with the pearliest, most perfect teeth imaginable, and hair that curls under at the ends. So basically this is Melissa & Doug for Armani Prive.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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