Author Archives: Heather

Fug the Show: I Wanna Marry Harry, episode 6 recap


May I please share with you the prop that is the greatest metaphor for this show?

I Wanna Marry Harry episode 6 recap (11)

Here is the dirty secret about I Wanna Canoe Hell River: It turned out to be well-cast, on the lady side. This doesn’t save the inherent meanness of it, but all but about two or three of the girls are just kind of there hanging out and having fun and getting a kick out of each other, and making the best of this weirdo situation, and that approach makes them EMINENTLY more watchable than if the entire cast were a bunch of brash Meghans and shit-stirring Kelleys. On a show whose main point in life is to cast aspersions on a) womankind’s ability to resist the allure of regal trappings, and b) womankind’s ability to believe any fairy-tale that’s convenient, and c) womankind’s ability to be smart, it’s a nice in-your-face moment that the actual takeaway from it is that you CAN throw a bunch of ladies into one house for several confining weeks and have many of them roll with it and be cool.

Well, most of them, until now. Because Kelley hates Meghan and Meghan hates Kelley. That is the entire theme of this week, which leads to The Most Dramatic Quiet Seated Chat Ever.

I Wanna Marry Harry episode 6 recap (1)

That horse seems primed to walk by Mr. Fenton’s credit and soil it with vigor.

I Wanna Marry Harry episode 6 recap (2)

We begin with a 5 a.m. wake-up from a drill sergeant, who barks at them in the fashion that reality TV loves best: It’s supposed to be entertaining to watch a guy stomp around and call a bunch of girls “maggots,” but actually, it’s irritatingly cliche, and before this recap is through I will want to punch him in his battalions.

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Well Played, Allison Janney


Do I LOVE the shoes? No.

Does it ruin anything? NO. That sound you hear is my inner child bemoaning my outer crone for not growing up this splendidly.

[Photo: Splash]

 

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Casual Fuggerday: Chloe Sevigny


She’s walking around, it’s summer, we’re all casual here — whatever.

But a dear friend once brought back Hawaiian ensembles for the beans after her vacation, and one of them was, I think, EXACTLY this. So I can’t take her seriously if she’s dressing like two four-year olds who liked to put this on and then pretend to play Queen on a ukulele. Or perhaps I can’t take her seriously UNLESS she is pretending to play Queen on a ukulele.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Chrissy Teigen in Milly


Generally, I think these midriff-y outfits work better if the top looks as little like a bra as possible. So that’s one strike against this.

Chrissy Teigen in Milly on "Extra"

The dueling bands — orange and black — seem so samey as to be fighting with each other a bit, and I like her better as a brunette, but that’s a digression I suppose. Basically, for me, the lively and insane pattern goes a LONG way toward making me consider voting “fab” on something that I might ordinarily question. It reminds me of those old screen-savers on the first color Macs. This one would be the habitat for Fish, obviously, which only means someone should make a Flying Toasters dress. I’m looking at YOU, Rodarte.

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[Photo: Splash]

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Fug/Fab Face-Off: Megan Fox vs. Margaret Qualley in Dolce & Gabbana


Well, this is a rare treat: a deployment of the same pattern in the same night, a country apart. The fashion gods are smiling upon us this fine summer week.

First: Andie MacDowell’s actress daughter, Margaret Qualley, who is on The Leftovers (it’s her only credit so far, really) but is making the rounds like crazy right now:

Margaret Qualley, premiere of "Magic In The Moonlight" in NYC

I want to like this – I do, conceptually — but I’m really distracted by the piece of it right under the waist seam. It’s like a four-inch chunk and then another seam, and it’s bubbling out and making very unflattering things happen. Why do designers set traps like that? Why not TREAT your customers instead of tricking them?

She did at least pair it with a funky purse; the shoe choice could have been more interesting and more seasonal, and of course the lack of bracelet will send cries of “NAB” reverberating throughout our grand Nation of Fug. But Megan Fox didn’t use a bracelet either, ALSO carries a cool purse, and chose black shoes:
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Fugs and Fabs: The CBS TCA Party


Mid- to late-July is usually when a lot of these shows start shooting for a fall premiere, which means: These actors are all going to be so tired from all the shilling.

[Photos: AKM-GSI, Splash]

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