Author Archives: Heather

Fugs and Fabs: The One-Night-Only O.C. Musical Premiere


I can only hope this was successful enough that “one night only” turns into “three months at the Pantages.” Tell me: Would you go see a musical of The O.C., and which are the moments from the series’ entire run that you would DEMAND be a part of it? Which parts would you blot out (I would lose the entire existence of Olivia Wilde, for example)? And could you accept Sandy Cohen played by anyone other than the Master of the Brows himself, even if it meant he was a decade-plus too old for the part? And why isn’t Mischa Barton playing Marissa? WHAT ELSE IS SHE EVEN DOING. Discuss.

[Photos: Getty]

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What Fuggin’ Climate?: Kim Kardashian


Apparently Kim’s taste for extremely high-waisted tight skirts has not changed with pregnancy — which is fine; revel in your bump, I say.

kim kardashian

But tyou’re DEEP IN THE VALEY on a blistering August day in California. WHY are you in a wool coat, and how are rivers of spontaneous sweat not seeping through your skintight clothes? I know the suspicion is that she’s had an immense amount of work done in her life, but even so, plastic still melts. How is she intact? Is she part-fembot? Did she have her sweat glands removed? Have the Kardashians defeated the biology? OR ARE THEY EVOLVING INTO SOMETHING EVEN MORE PERNICIOUS THAN THE ALMIGHTY COCKROACH?!?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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What the Fug: Janet Jackson


People who’ve read The Royal We often tweet us to confess they wish our protagonist’s father’s invention, the Coucherator (a fridge-sofa hybrid), actually existed. So do we, friends. But its cousin may be real:

janet jackson

I mean, if that’s not a Pantserator, then what a waste of SEVERAL cubic feet of space.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Pussycat Fugs: Nicole Scherzinger


Had you forgotten about Nicole Scherzinger entirely?

nicole scherzinger

Because SHE certainly seems worried about it.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug and Fab: Victoria Justice


I hate that we’re in an era where people look like a Jenner-Kardashian rather than the other way around, because it means the JenKards are the alphas now. But seriously: Victoria Justice could TOTALLY pass as a sudden Kardnner sibling, or a convenient lookalike relative – like the in Sweet Valley High #45, Family Secrets, in which the Wakefield twins welcomed their cousin Kelly who was effectively their triplet except she didn’t have the lavaliere and had tricksy green eyes.

Anyway:

victoria justice

Maybe she and Kendall should sniff around some acting projects together, since Kendall seems to like working and Victoria just signed a development deal. I have to compliment Victoria on the proportions here, though. The pants make her legs look ten miles long. Her hair and makeup are great, and the white is very crisp against her dark hair. My nits are the lack of accessories and the fact that her pants are slit at the sides and inlaid with a bunch of transparent pleated frippery:

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Fug or Fab: Lorde


Okay, so I promise I have not slipped and hit my head on the toilet; if I had, you wouldn’t be reading me right now, because I would have gone back in time and flushed the script for the VMAs down the bog (just as a warm-up mission). I do know this is sheer, and no, I don’t love seeing her strapless bra.

lorde

But, here’s the part I like: For the beginning of her career, Lorde dined out on black pants, white blouses, black jackets and hats, and well, basically anything in either non-color. So a rainbow sheath is a HUGE departure for her – even a see-through one – and I love that. It’s like when I started consenting to the occasional raw tomato on a burger, which basically never happened before last year. “GROWTH,” I would say to Jessica, pointing sagely at my meal. I like that this feels like a step forward, and as long as her continued growth extends a hand back to the land of opacity, I’m on board.

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