Author Archives: Heather

Fugs and Fabs: The Rest of the Italy State Dinner

Because when I think “President Obama invites the Italian prime minister to his final state dinner,” I immediately go, “Bring out the bike shorts and tulle.”

[Photos: Getty]


Fugs and Fabs: Wacky Patterns at the Kenzo x H&M Event

The backdrop is the clothes’ worst enemy here. That is, when the clothes aren’t the clothes’ worst enemy.

[Photos: Getty]


What the Fug: Rowan Blanchard in Preen

Rowan here — chiefly known as Corey and Topanga’s daughter on the Boy Meets World sequel, Girl Meets World — was at a dinner celebrating Preen, so I’m sure the expectation was that she would wear Preen.

Rowan Blanchard

But she appears to have mistaken the word “Preen” for “Artsy Exploding Spleen.” Or “Hung Over Disney Princess Fever Dream.” Or “Mattress Pad Has-Been.” Or “Hipster Vintage Store Crackpot Halloween.” Or “Ruched Fashion Gangrene.” Or “Hang On I Just Time-Traveled To The Old West And Got In A Saloon Fight And Then My Skirt Was Caught In The Delorean Door and Ripped and Whoops I Left Some Of It Drifting In The Space-Time Continuum So I Guess I Should Go Back For It And Make Sure It Doesn’t Land Somewhere Inconvenient Upstream.”

And, scene.

[Photo: Getty]


Scrolldown Fab: Shiri Appleby

That’s my way of saying: Hey, at least I like the shoes.

MIPCOM 2016 - "Unreal" Photocall

I also like the color of the dress, but the built-in harness makes it all so droopy, like she got caught in her own parachute. “Claustrophobic skydiving terror dream” is not where I was hoping this would go.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]



What the Fug: Khloe Kardashian

The Kardashians and Jenners have been laying so low that I think Khloe’s aim here was, effectively, to leap out of the bushes and jolt us back into constant vigilance – as if to ay, “Don’t get too comfortable. We will ALWAYS BE NEAR.”

Khloe and Kris

Not that Khloe should be an arbiter of comfort, given that nothing about her outfit suggests an understanding of the concept. About the only thing here I would want to wear is Kris’s koat, lipstick, and maybe her shirt if I really needed a plain black top. Honestly, Khloe, would it kill you to go against the Kardashian grain? WOULD IT? If I were Nordstrom, launching a new line of jeans, I’d be pretty bummed out that Khloe appears to have picked a pair that prevents her from standing up straight. I’d also be hacked off that she refused to put on a real shirt, although… honestly, if you hire a Kardashian to host something for you, I suppose you both know what you’re getting and WANT the guaranteed publicity associated with Khloe looking rained-on and as if she wandered out from her sex yurt to investigate a suspicious noise. Oh well. I guess you can’t spell “Nordstrom” without “No.”

[Photo: Getty]


Fug or Fab the Cover: Emily Blunt on InStyle, November 2016

This isn’t as bad as I originally thought, when I glanced at it at the grocery store, but it’s still not great.

Emily Blunt on InStyle

She looks pretty — although someone may want to tell InStyle that Emily Blunt arrived a long time ago — but her eyes are tripping me up. Look at them. They’re not QUITE looking directly at us. It’s as if she’s actually looking at a spot just fractionally to the side of the camera lens, or she spaced out for a second and started making her grocery list. It’s not far enough off to be clear that she’s looking elsewhere, but not dead-on, so her gaze isn’t connecting and it thus starts to feel dazed or vacant. Frankly, this whole cover could as easily have been a red carpet photo that they cropped and enlarged; that’s how weird and impersonal it feels. Am I crazy? I just want to snap my fingers in front of her face and see if her mind returns from its wanderings.

[Photo: InStyle]