Author Archives: Heather

Fug or Fab the Cover: Shailene Woodley on Elle, April 2015


Well, it’s striking enough.

Shailene Woodley, Elle April 2015

On the nitpicking note, I like it better when Elle just leaves its masthead spaced normally and doesn’t care how the cover model splashes over it. Scrunching the two Ls on either side of her head is distracting, especially the way they made it look like her arm is looped around the one on the right. I also think it looks like a mistake, rather than a Young or Wild or Free decision, to have the yellow words cut off on the sides.

As for the photo… look, you knew I wasn’t going to love the bathing suit. Why is there a patent-leather belt on it? Why are there bathing suits that are allergic to being worn in actual watery conditions? What’s more: If the top only even REMOTELY looks like it’s in the right place because her arms are over her head, imagine how it must fall down when she lowers them. The expression on her face says, “I know. This would not have been my choice either.” She clearly gave it what she could, but honestly, the inside photo is way more striking to me:

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Unfug or Fab: Amanda Seyfried in Valentino


This actually as easily could’ve been a Well Played With Notes, but whatever. I’m in a voting frame of mind.

amanda seyfried while we're young premiere new york

That dress is so, so cute. I love it. Three enthusiastic thumbs up, with my fourth too paralyzed by longing to move.

But I don’t think I’d have done such a severe, tight updo. Amanda has the most glorious blonde hair, and if she’d let that stuff loose around her shoulders and smiled wide, we’d have bee in SERIOUS business. In every photo that I saw — or that’s come in so far, anyway — her only grin is tight-lipped at best. Maybe that’s because the hair is impeding the movement of her facial muscles, or something. Here’s a side view:

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Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 16, “It’s Good To Be Kink”


It’s the Lena Dunham episode, ladies and gents, and it is all about the bang — both the ones on her wig, and the sexual kind. scandal-recap-season-4-episode-16-10

Lena plays a brilliant former chemistry major turned ex-EPA employee who has decided to have kinky sex with all the Washington power players she can, and then write a tell-all. It’s like Hannah Horvath Goes To Washington, except without the science brain, and also, Hannah would maybe sleep with just one person and then overthink the rest of it. So let’s call it Bizarro Hannah Horvath Goes To Washington. And this shot of Lena in her lab goggles - from her Car Wash montage – is hilarious to me. She looks so menacing. Like she’s either cheating, or checking to see if Fred has taken a sip of his soy latte yet, because it includes a little surprise she whipped up last night. And the wig. What is there to say about Wig? It begs, “Don’t get distracted. This isn’t Lena Dunham. It’s a character.” But instead, we hear, “WIG ALERT. WE ARE AT WIGCON 1.” But it’s not even at its worst here. And look at me, giving you a cliffhanger like that. Okay. Ready to dive into the Kink Zone? Right-o: The episode opens with Abby being enraged, breaking off a piece of her mind and hurling it like a throwing star at Paul Adelstein’s neck: Read More

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Charo Bracket, Part 2


Jump to: No. 3Lindsay Lohan vs. No. 6 Chrissy Teigen
No. 2 KAT GRAHAM vs. No. 7 CIARA  

This one is going to be tricky.

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In one corner, we have Kat Graham, noted kook, lover of awful pants, passionate wearer of one’s own abs, defender of the secrets of Castle Braskull. (No, seriously, she loves a visible undergarment.)

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In the other, Ciara, equal lover of blazers and bad bottoms, but cleaving more to formal tube tops.

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Kat here went full Boobs with her formalwear…

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Fug Madness 2015, Round Two: Cher Bracket, Part 2


Jump to: No. 6 Solange vs. No. 14 Keke Palmer
 

No. 2 JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. No. 10 NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

I don’t get to talk about Jennifer Lopez that much as myself, because I’m usually writing AS her. So I will take this time to note that I find her deeply, deeply hilarious, and I had grabbed these photos ages ago and then forgotten to do anything with them. So let’s just behold the faces she makes when she’s en route to Idol from her trailer. Whether she is dressed as a Versace sneaker…

Jennifer Lopez Arriving For Tonights 'American Idol' Show

… or a tube of lipstick that you’ve used really unevenly to the point where it’s almost sharp…

Jennifer Lopez Arriving For Tonights 'American Idol' Show

… or as a super fancy, psychedelic Pac Man level:

Judges Arriving For Tonight's 'American Idol' Show

That expression really tickles me. She’s probably just checking that there’s nothing in her teeth, but something about it tickles me silly. I love you, J.Lo, fug and all. Never change.

And as for that fug, let’s get into it. We’ve seen that she wore a dress with one pant leg. We’ve seen that she wore identically themed gowns made of criss-crossing straps — one to the VMAs, and one to the AMAs (with an honorable mention for this white one that’s halfway there). But let’s not forget what happens when she allows Tom Ford to have at her:

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Fugs and Fabs: Mad Men Final Season Special Screening in New York


The first event of the Mad Men farewell tour seems like as good a time as any to discuss all of Fug Nation’s theories about where the season will go. So have at it in the comments, once you’re done marveling that MOST of these people wore good shoes. Like, four out of six, if you include Hamm.

[Photos: Getty]

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