Author Archives: Heather

Mostly Well Played: Venus and Serena Williams


The US Open starts on Monday, and I have HIGH HOPES that Serena will rebound from a disappointing Olympics. In fact, that performance might HELP, because sticking the Olympics between Wimbledon and the Open is pretty tiring and so let’s assume Serena held back so that she could spend the forthcoming fortnight bringing the thunder.

Taste Of Tennis New York - Gala

She certainly brought some here. The fringe skirt would probably drive ME crazy, but this is a woman who routinely plays tennis matches in full jewelry and is unfazed, so she obviously won’t be undone by some ropy fabric tickling her knees. Also, her lipstick is fab, the shoes are super cute, and pardon me while I just quickly drop and do twenty crunches. (There! That’ll fix everything. Phew.) Venus, though… in truth it’s not as bad as it could be, but that romper is perilously close to being a tunic. Tennis players are obviously REALLY used to that length, but for me it’s nonetheless flirting with silly. If it were super FLATTERING, that would be one thing, but it’s unremarkable and has me looking down at her feet instead. And hey, hooray for an orange pedicure. We can leave on that up note, at least.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Rachel Weisz in Monse


The news, for Monse, is both good and bad. But the word “good” is a huge step forward, no?

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

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Fug or Hmm: Surprise, It’s Rita Ora Again


Well, look, I completely understand where she’s coming from here.

Rita Ora Steps Out In NYC

If I’d been pounding the pavement as hard as she has, I’d wander outside in my lounging PJs too. The weird thing is, this looks better than 85 percent of the outfits she wears that DON’T look like jammies. Maybe she should pseudo-sleepwalk more often.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug the Shoes: Christina Milian


Jess and I and our friends used to joke that any pair of truly devious stilettos were called Kill-A-Man shoes, because that’s what you could do with them.

Christina Milian

For these, I would amend it to Neuter-A-Man.

(Please note that the cropped camisole and see-through skirt aren’t great EITHER, but what more can I say about either of those things? Pizza BOO, AND WEAR REAL SHIRTS. THE END. Not very eloquent.)

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug the Cover: Zendaya on Footwear News


For the love of God, y’all.

Zendaya

Just let the lady go to the bathroom.

[Photo: FN]

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Casual Fugs: Gigi and Bella Hadid


I referred to them mentally as the Hadon’t sisters and then chastised myself for it. I cannot resist a good pun, but what’s even MORE tempting is a bad one.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]

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Your Afternoon Man: Rami Malek


I’ve got a present for those of you who are… what are his fans calling themselves, do we think? Let’s see… Malikes? No. Rami Noodles. That’s clearly it. I think I’ve done my worst possible work there, don’t you? Anyway, this is for all you lovers out there. (Cue “Earth Angel,” and if you don’t know the movie reference, please hop in a DeLorean and speed back to 1985 and get thee to a cineplex.)

Rami Malek

Rami is never boring. I enjoy his kicky taste in shirts in particular, and while the shoes look a little wonkus with this — somehow light shoe plus dark suit make his feet look larger than I would have expected? — I am on the whole pleased to see a young gent in Hollywood treating an event as sartorially seriously as his female co-invitees usually do. He does not phone it in, for which I’m grateful. I’m not as thankful for Mr. Robot itself, which I can’t seem to escape, because the husband watches and it permeates my consciousness while I’m working on the couch next to him. I just… I didn’t like it, then I was bored by it, then I really didn’t like it, and THEN the ongoing critical raves seemed to mystifying to me that I think my distaste fed on them in reverse and it all escalated into Blood-Boiling Ugh. So I find Rami’s wardrobe to be a soothing antidote to all that. Mr. Robot fans, how are you digging season two? Warning: Spoilers may ensue for all episodes that have already aired in the U.S.

[Photo: Getty]

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