Author Archives: Heather

Fug the Show: Nashville recap, season 3, episode 4, “I Feel Sorry For Me”


Yeah, fine, some plot happened, but there is BIG WIG NEWS this week:

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Glenn wears a toupee! Now, I’m pretty sure we all wondered, but I felt bad delving TOO deeply into the baffling mysteries of his scalp, because maybe it was his real hair and there was nothing he could do about the fact that it looked like it was cobbled together from Conan O’Brien’s clippings.Now that we have Confirmation of Toupee, IT’S ON. That sucker was not a RUG, it was a bathmat. From IKEA.

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This photo just made me laugh. It’s the face I might make if anyone were to stick a breastplate on ME. Good luck getting that last arrow with Luke’s name on it through THAT sucker, Cupid.

Okay, I’m going to compartmentalize the stories this week, because it might be easier. First up: Rayna.

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Fugs and Fabs: The Orange Is The New Black castmates at “The T Word” premiere


Laverne looks lovely as always, but she also is beginning to seem like she’s forever at the same level of formal. I’m rooting for her to show up in something a bit more relaxed occasionally. Because at an event like this, even for the premiere of her own thing, it starts to feel like she misread her own invitation.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug and Fab: Jessica Chastain


Wait a minute. Do we think that’s the Letterman Dumpster, trying to disguise itself as a harmless upright piano waiting to be delivered? Is it looking up on Chastain’s bellbottomed jumpsuit and rethinking the life choice that saw it vacate that nice Park Avenue-adjacent alley outside a UES condo just to get a load of this?

Also herein: Special Guest Stars Heather Locklear, Dakota Fanning, and Kate Mara, except that one of those is a lie.

[Photos: Splash]

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Well Played: Blake Lively in Michael Kors


For some reason I am simultaneously not that into this dress, AND think that she looks like a freaking glowing beacon of fecundity. The latter won.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet, Splash]

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Pharrelly Played: Pharrell


I can’t pretend to understand Pharrell.

Pharrell Williams

But I CAN wait with bated breath for him to star in a reinterpretation of Grey Gardens. It’ll be Tyler Perry Presents: Tyler Perry as Medea in Tyler Perry’s The Garden of Edie. Dust off that wig, Tyler. Pharrell is already going Method for it.

[Photo: AKM-GSI]

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Better Played, Beyonce


Wig is not okay. Wig is still making a case for itself for a Fug Madness berth, assuming another inanimate object has the stones to step forward and nominate itself as Wig’s opponent.

Beyonce

But I can’t lie, that day dress and those pumps and the leather jacket are REALLY quirky and cute together, especially when you throw in the sunglasses that even make Wig look marginally hotter. Maybe Bey has just lowered my expectations and therefore my resistance, but I’m giving her some fashion props for figuring out how to counterbalance the injustice she’s doing to her head. I know, I can’t beylieve it either.

[Photo: AKM-GSI]

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