Author Archives: Heather

WTF: Kris Jenner in Chanel at Couture Week

To those of you who will say, “Please stop featuring these people,” my response of choice for TODAY is: I cannot deprive Fug Nation of the chance to laugh at the unintended amusements of this person together. Because COME ON.

kris jenner see-through pants Chanel

I mean, congratulations on having those legs as a mom of six, but YOU ARE OFF YOUR TREE, YOU ABSURD PERSON. She looks like a caricature of Kim rolled in a crunchy Lagerfeldian coating and drizzled in delusion. It’s so unintentionally hilarious. What would one call the cartoon that is Kris, I wonder? I had a truly offensive Family Circle joke percolating that I won’t use, so right now I’m torn betweeen Barfield, For Jenner or For Worse, Goonsbury, or Obnoxtrot.

[Photo: Splash]


SAG Awards Alexisly Played: Joan Collins

Our recapping slates are pretty full, but we probably HAVE to try to cover The Royals in some capacity, because of how Joan Collins will be on it as the Grand Duchess Helena (how she got that title remains to be seen — by the sounds of things her daughter Elizabeth “Queen Helena” Hurley is married to the king and not the blood heir herself — or, indeed, may never be explained). I don’t know how we are going to pull it off, but if Joan Collins can still give me Dynasty-style palpitations then I probably need to see where it goes. And she CAN still do it:

joan collins sag awards 2015

She is so fabulously legendarily Joan. Just please throw a drink in someone’s face soon. Actually, throw one in MY face. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

[Photo: Getty]


SAG Awards Fug or Fab: Paula Patton in Aiisha Ramadan

“Hi, everyone.”

Paula Patton sag awards 2015

“Yes, I AM still trying to make up for basically everything I wore during the ‘Blurred Lines’ era. Yes, I realize it’s going to take a while. No, I’m not sure if this works or not — someone asked if my chest had beads, or fossilized sneezes – and yeah, I do hope you don’t look at the closeup.”

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SAG Awards So Close Carpet: Catriona Balfe

I love the lipstick and shoe and clutch combo she picked to go with this orangey-yellow gown.

catriona balfe sag awards 2015

But what might it have looked like had the fabric not fainted dead away on top of her chest? Sigh. Wilting is for flowers, and consumptives who have chaise longues on which to collapse. Not for bodices.

[Photo: Getty]


SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Lorelei Linklater

It was certainly the most unusual student production of The Crucible that anyone had ever seen.

Lorelei Linklater sag awards 2015

It began with a surprising twist, when a young Bellatrix Lestrange showed up and gave Abigail Williams a tattoo that she had to hide.

21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards

But when Goody Proctor opened up a shop called The Devil’s Vestments, the jig was up and the play ended in Act Two with an orgy and then a group shrug.

[Photo: Splash]


SAG Awards Well Played: Kaley Cuoco


kaley cuoco sag awards 2015

Kaley Cuoco looks quite GOOD. Yes, okay, the hair still isn’t QUITE right — there’s something very ’80s about this phase, like she’s REALLY feeling Mary Stuart Masterson right now, and in fact, it’s possible she IS wearing Ryan Sweeting’s future on her finger — and her lips could’ve used some more color and she MIGHT need to exfoliate some of that bronzer off of her skin. But that’s a grown-up dress with a grown-up fit and a series of pretty bracelets. At this rate, come Emmy time, by Jove, I think she might get it.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]