Let’s talk about Kelly Clarkson. The chatter from Fug Nation on Twitter this morning was concerned that we were going to be mean to her. I must be clear: WE LOVE KELLY. Have we been concerned, in the past, that she often seems to get dressed in the dark, wearing a blindfold, standing in the reject pile at the Goodwill, in a land without tailors? Certainly. Kelly has herself admitted that she doesn’t have a stylist and when I read that, I thought, “HONEY. YOU NEED ONE. I love you.” Because we DO love her. She is so talented! And charming! And talented! And likeable! I literally drove to a county fair to see her perform this year and it was worth it! (Also, they had corn dogs.) So we really provide constructive criticism because we LOVE. It’s like when your best friend comes out of the dressing room wearing a dress that is really not very flattering on her. You don’t say, “I love you. BUY IT!” You say, “I think I liked the other one better.” Anyway, all that being said, this has sort of grown on me overnight, like a fungus:
I think the hose are kind of matronly on her, and the whole thing doesn’t feel very YOUTHFUL, but it could be — and has been — worse. I like the sparkly bits, and I think if you look at the cut of this, it’s actually pretty flattering on her. I just want to young her up a bit. Maybe with actually opaque tights and a slightly shorter skirt? This is a bit too Cute Matron Attending A Holiday Party, when it should be Cute Singer Rocking The Sequins.
Speaking of singing: .
Weirdly, I kind of think this is better. It’s super flattering to her curves, even if she does sort of look like she just beamed in from a Kennedy Center Honors Holiday Extravaganza on PBS, still singing “Ave Maria.” Maybe she should have worn this the whole evening? What do you think, Fug Nation? If K Cla doesn’t have a stylist, let’s pretend she gave us the gig.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I’m sure there are certain subsets of the internet where people are screeching about Kelly’s weight (gain, loss, holding steady, whatevs), but I know this won’t be one of them, because y’all know it’s more interesting to talk about the clothes, anyway.